


After The Fall - One Year Later

by Kikiaries



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Angst, Desire, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Jealousy, Love, Multi, Passion, Possessive Behavior, Rough Kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-12-22 17:41:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 50,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21080504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kikiaries/pseuds/Kikiaries
Summary: After the fall of the Archdemon, Deedolett "Olett" Surana had stepped into a new world - outside of Kinloch Hold, found new friends, found budding love, but what happens after all the killing? The man who swore to love her, Olett loves Alistair still. Even with him being the King she knows they cannot be together - He expressed that, in front of all of their friends, he turns his back on her. As she always will, she will get through this, one heart-racing breath at a time.





	1. Brutal Truth

**Author's Note:**

> After my very first playthrough, I was sitting having just completed the Landsmeet and my King telling me that he no longer wished to be with me. I felt compelled to draw, then rewrite how I thought it should go, only after I wiggled Princess Consort. Here is my take on what *could* have happened if she let things go as they were. Many thanks for such an amazing series to David Gaider, the Bioware team and the Voice Actors - I'll stop now. Please enjoy this bit of Angsty Fluffy love that spans all the games, and Thedas...

Deedolett dragged herself through the streets of Denerim, tired, hungry, and filthy. She needed to get back to Arl Eamon’s estate, and quickly; wanting nothing more than to be back in her lover’s arms again. Days had passed since her surrender to Ser Caurthrien and a quarter of Loghain’s men, following the rescue of Anora, Ferelden’s Queen.    
  


_ ‘This armor is horribly heavy; I am sore from head to foot. Almost there... just a few more...’  _ Her thoughts paused as she leaned against the wall of the Denerim Estate. Mustering up some strength made her way to the doors. Moving at a steady pace through the halls, she heard the faint sounds of arguing coming from the study at the end of the corridor, a guard shortly exited said room, the voices echoed loud through the spacious hall, the young guard pulled the door shut behind him. She was clearly able to put faces to the voices she was trying to decipher. 

Olett felt an all-too-familiar nudge to the back of her leg, followed by a whimper of worry. Removing her helmet, she knelt down, giving her fuzzy friend a hug and a good scratch behind his ears. 

“I missed you too, arguing about my rescue?” 

With a gruff bark and a loving nudge to her cheek, Tengu looked to the study door. 

“I am going to go in there; can you let the others know I’m safe?” 

With happier bark, he jumped and wiggled his nub of a tail. Deedolett removed her beloved necklace placing the delicate chain onto his fang, seeing the large mabari bound up the way she came, hearing the shrikes of the maids, shaking her head a small smile play on her lips, she headed into the study, closing the visor of her helmet in the process. Upon entering the room, she first spotted Anora the Queen of the former King Cailan, who looked worse for wear and was eyeing Alistair, who was leaned over the desk, a tired-looking Eamon rubbed his temples, and Zevran cursed to himself pacing about the room. 

“When are we going to send another contingent or do I have to go myself!” Alistair was fuming, pounding his fist on the large dark oak desk, sending several papers clamoring to the floor as if to dodge out of his way. 

Removing her headgear as she approached the desk, Deedolett calmly stated just loud enough to be heard, “Why do we not, and say we did?” 

“What?” Zevran and Alistair echoed in further frustration. Anora stood with tears in her eyes and Eamon raised his head in surprise. They all looked at the little elven mage - all of whom thought needed rescuing - standing among them. 

Alistair turned her to face him, and, with tears brimming, he gently cupped her dirty sweat-ridden face with his hands. He thumbed her cheeks as looked her up and down, seeing a small bruise on her forehead. 

“They didn’t hur-... are you well?” 

He could not bring himself to say what his mind had been reeling with since her capture, and could not think to bring it to life even as she stood before him. She placed her small delicate hand on his, assuring him she was indeed well. “I am my love; just tired and hungry.” she said with a weak smile. They continued to embrace, ignoring all who were in the room. 

Zevran hurried to inform the others that she was back, smiling brightly as he left. Anora gestured to Eamon, “Would you please have the Warden speak with me when she is ready?” She stole a look at the couple before she, too, left exiting for her chambers. 

“My love, could you have a bath drawn for me, and food - I need to speak with Eamon?” she asked, slowly taking a seat and stripping the remaining armor she had on. Alistair kissed her forehead and saw to her needs. 

“I am glad to see you are safe my dear, I would have hated to try to continue standing in your friends’ way, especially Alistair; he was on his way out to get you the day you were taken after they returned Anora to the Estate. It took Wynne to get the boy to listen to reason.” Eamon said smiling and helped her with a few of the straps from her armor the young mage tried to reach. 

“Thank you, I know I heard talk of a few spies that showed up one night, I hope they made it back safely?” She placed the breastplate down on the floor with a clunk and an even greater sigh of relief. 

With a nod, Eamon acknowledged his men’s return. “I know you are tired and in much need of rest, so I will make this brief. Anora wishes an audience with you; I feel that it will be best if we 

keep our eyes on her, we know not what she has planned, she could also be of great use to our cause.” 

With a grunt Deedolett pulled off her last boot, wiggling her toes for some well-needed air. 

“Yes, she will have to wait, Queen or no Queen. I am glad she got the message of my capture, through.” 

Nodding his agreement once more, Eamon helped her to her feet, and she reached down to clean up the mess she’d dropped on the floor. 

“Leave it there; go and rest. We will talk later, good-night Warden.” Eamon ushered her towards the door. 

Deedolett bowed and headed out into the empty corridor, “Oh, Warden?” Eamon paused at his desk. 

Deedolett turned to Eamon, who continued to speak. “He does love you a great deal, they all do. That was all; good-night.” 

She smiled and with a tired nod left the room for food, then her much-needed bath, being greeted by her relieved friends, who hugged her and who offered plates of food as she made her way to her chambers.    
  


~~*^*~~    
  
A two-day rest proved to be enough time to face Anora. Alistair stayed in her room since her return, Maker knew, Deedolett would have preferred to stay in bed snuggled safely in Alistair’s arms. After much protesting and a tug-of-war with her bedgown, he finally gave up the fight and let her prepare to see Queen Anora. 

Laying on his side he watched as Deedolett pulled on her knee-high boot, “She is more Gargoyle or Harpy, yes Harpy would be better for her.” 

“Alistair, that’s not nice; she was your brother’s wife.” Deedolett reached down to a pillow that had fallen on the thick rugs on the floor and threw it at him after he dubbed her with a new title. 

“She is, and you know it: have you seen the way she’s been looking at me? Chills me to the bone.” He muttered as he tossed the pillow aside then going to help lace up her bootstraps. 

“Do you know why she wants an audience with you?” he asked, as he dressed, pulling his boots on before escorting Deedolett out of the room and up the hall to Anora’s bedchamber. 

“Afraid not, maybe she wants to thank me for saving her. Who knows, but the second I find out I will be sure to let you know.” Olett gave him an affirmative nod, they shared a quick kiss before parting ways. 

Standing in front of the Queen’s room, Deedolett chuckled before knocking as she found herself with a much-amused idea.  _ Harpy’s Den, I have to remember to tell him that.  _

She knocked and waited just a moment before the door opened, revealing Anora’s handmaiden. 

“Ah, Warden, my lady is at her desk. I wanted to say thank-you again for her safe return,” Erlina gushed in her thick Orlesian accent, as she showed Deedolett into the room, before closing the door behind her with a sound click. 

Anora stood and walked around the desk, offering Deedolett the seat nearest the fireplace. 

“My rescuer, I am in your debt. Please have a seat. I cannot thank you enough for getting me out of that horrible place.” Appraising Deedolett as one would do a piece of art. 

“You are most welcome to your Majesty. Do you wish to speak to me? I do apologize for the delay; I needed a little time to readjust.” The Magi bowed her head slightly as she spoke. 

Anora smiled shyly. “Yes, that is understandable. I am almost afraid to ask you for your assistance again.” 

Deedolett bowed her head again. “I will be happy to help you any way I can, Your Majesty.” 

Anora stood and went over to fix cups of tea for the two of them, speaking as she went, “I was hoping you would say that, so I shall get right to the point. I would like for you to help secure my place as Queen.” 

Deedolett raised a curious eyebrow. “I see - you wish me to speak on your behalf during the Landsmeet?” 

“Yes, who do you really think had been running the Kingdom these past five years - Cailan?” Anora chuckled slightly, putting another drop of honey in her cup. 

Deedolett started to feel odd about this conversation, “Right, but what about Alistair? He is of Theirin blood, as was his brother Cailan. I’m sure that is your  _ only  _ reason for being Queen.” Deedolett’s eyes narrowed at the woman’s back as she questioned her. 

It stunned Anora, as the realization that the elf girl would dare to remark in such a tone. True, she was betrothed to Cailan at a young age due in part to being the Hero of River Dane’s daughter, her father has been instrumental in their betrothal. After she had gotten safely back to the estate, it had also dawned on her that she could, in a matter of a few votes, lose her crown; the crown she had worked on for years, a role in which she had grown accustomed to, to the bastard of King Maric’s, her dear, departed father-in-law. 

_ ‘Time for plan B’  _ Anora mind went into a frenzy, she was shaken up just a bit by the words of the woman who could shift the tides, so to speak; carrying a tray of cakes with the tea, she placed it down on the table nearest their seats, attempting to keep what was hers. 

With a forced pleasant smile on her lips nodded her agreement, “Precisely, and I was also wondering if you could, in some way, convince Alistair to wed me. It would benefit us both.” She handed Deedolett a cup, all the while waiting for her to digest the proposal. 

This was not amusing in the least. Deedolett looked into the cup for a few thoughtful minutes, finally finding the words that she needed to not insult the Queen. 

With a smile of her own, she looked to the woman before her, her bright aquamarine eyes locked into the stormy blue of the Queen, “How exactly would this be a benefit to us?” 

Anora placed her cup down and dabbed her mouth before answering. 

“For one, it would help aid the Wardens of course, who have already been dubbed traitors to the crown by my father. Second, it will still sway the nobles against my father; remember he did have me locked up, sold the elves to fuel his imaginary war, and tried to halt you at every turn.” she said, adding the last statement for extra incentive. 

She could see that her words were working, knowing the Wardens - having being reinstated due to Maric’s word - could properly be exiled now that they were seen as the enemy, supposedly killing her husband but, how did she know of the assassination attempts. 

Deedolett, on the other hand, placed the cup down and started to finger the collar of her robe, fingering the thin chain of her necklace. 

Anora was right; thanks to Loghain they were seen as the traitors, and had been - and still were -hunted by his lackeys. Her father did throw her to that vile man Rendon Howe. This was giving her a headache. 

Pinching the bridge of her nose she sighed forcing her bubbling anger down, ‘ _ Harpy does not begin to describe her any longer!’  _ Deedolett thought ruefully; she wanted something that was going to come at a very heavy price. 

Deedolett closed her aqua eyes and drew a deep breath. “I cannot believe I am even considering this,” she said to no one in particular. 

Deedolett spoke as she rose from her seat “I will speak with him on your behalf, I will see what he has to say.” Placing her cup of untouched tea down on the table. 

Deedolett hung her head shaking slightly, feeling weaker than when she had arrived back at the Estate. Headed to the door, not wanting to spend another moment longer in the company of ‘That Bitch,’ as Deedolett now thought of Anora. Was halted as the Queen was not finished nailing the coffin Olett felt she was laying in 

“Thank you for thinking it over; please let me know his decision,” Anora smirked as she watched Deedolett close the door. 

“Now all we do is wait.” Anora giggled and continued to nibble her cake. 

~~*^*~~ 

As Deedolett closed the door she headed to Eamon’s office to inform him that his suspicions were correct. The idea of Anora with Alistair nauseated her and made the throb in her head worse. 

_ ‘He did say she was giving him looks, did she have this planned from the start? Was her capture even genuine?’  _ Her mind was going in several different directions, and she hardly noticed that she entered the study room muttering incoherently as she flopped into a chair next to Eamon’s desk. 

”She wants to marry him...” was all she managed to get out at last, with a slow giggle that built up into hysterical laughter. Eamon, Wynne, and Alistair tried their best to calm her. 

“She wants to marry you!” Tears trickled down her cheek as she screeched, “That...Bitch had been planning this all along!” she covered her mouth with her small hands, tying the pieces together,  _ *none were after Alistair* _ . She needed air, it was too hard to think, her heart rampaged like an ogre in her chest and stomach turned as her anger grew. Headed to the courtyard in blind fury; she needed to destroy something. Following close on her heel, Alistair bombarded her with questions as they were leaving the study, trying to gather further information. 

Eamon sat in the chair Deedolett had just vacated and popped up quickly with a hiss. The chair was frozen solid. 

~~*^*~~ 

“My Love, what do you mean she wants to marry me? That’s impossible - did we do enough by bringing her Cailan’s armor from Ostagar?” 

“Maybe she saw it as a warm gesture. From what I gathered she needs you on the throne due to your royal makeup and it will be a benefit to us both.” 

Deedolett lobbed a fireball at the straw dummy in a fit of anger without looking,  _ *That Bitch tried to kill me!*  _ making a few of the others on the training grounds scatter. She quickly put out the fire with ice, mouthing apologies as well. Drawing a deep breath, she sighed feeling deflated. 

“Benefit who? Damn that, I will not marry her, I’ll go speak with Eamon.” Alistair left to do just that. 

“We are traitors to the crown, unfortunately, she  _ would  _ be a benefit.” Deedolett whispered to the winds. 

~~*^*~~ 

Day of the Landsmeet. Location Denerim. 

Deedolett Surana had pronounced Alistair Theirin King, after a debate from both sides he accepted the role dutifully, his love Olett and friends felt that this  _ is  _ the right thing to do. 

"Lock Anora up, I will figure out what to do with her later." Alistair rubbed his hands over his face and with a heavy sigh knew there was still more to do. 

“I hope what you do with me will be the same as you did for my father. Curse you and your wench!” Anora was locked in her room until further notice. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Sometime later Deedolett and the seven others that traveled with her were talking about the next course of action against the still looming Blight. Alistair mutters to himself, obviously distracted, not acknowledging the servants or other nobles as he passes in the hall. He feels her presence on the other side of the oak doors, placing a hand on the handle, gripping the cold metal squeezing it tightly with a gauntleted hand. 

_*Maker I do not wish to do this.* _Taking several deep breaths before walking through, he was greeted with a warm hug and kiss, his heart started to race and he could hear it in his ears. _*Maker please forgive me for what I am about to do.* _His thoughts of what he needed to do, for duties sake, kept him from embracing his lover and best friends' touch he grew accustomed to.   
  
"Congratulations, you’re Highness." She purred aquamarine eyes search for a thank you. "What is the matter love?" she spoke a little softer. He gently grabbed her hands from the back of his neck, looking into her eyes ashamed of what is to come, turns away closing his eyes drawing a deep breath, "We need to talk." 

~~*^*~~ 

Alistair’s talk, in front of everyone, lasted less than three minutes, leaving her feeling incredibly ill. She reluctantly agreed to accept his words with a heavy heart, nodding forcing a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Suddenly realizing all eyes were on her, not missing a beat, she kept her back to the group, clearing her throat; "I am heading to the market for supplies; we march out in the morning as our  _ 'King'  _ instructed." Deedolett stated flatly. Heading to the door on her left she exited the room, un-faltered, making sure the door was completely closed behind her, she looked around like a scared child, her throat burned. Checking her feelings; embarrassment, disbelief, and anguish were all in full play, legs feeling like jelly, her breathing ragged she walked to the middle of the room hugging herself, sliding to the floor with tears pouring from her eyes. Covering her face in her hands muffling the sobs as she laid on the floor and curled into a tiny ball. 


	2. Consider This

One week later at Redcliffe Castle, its grounds and the surrounding village was bustling with the filtering in of troops. Messengers running to and fro as they sent reports to the Castle. Redcliffe had become the rendezvous point, orders from the docks to the castle were being shouted, Olett even made rounds to bolster morale, taken to checking if all needed supplies with her sword maid, Naharra, at her elbow to take note for when they reached the castle for the evening. As the sun set and the troops were settles, mages cast mass sleep spells, the dogs, the horses, the troops, all fell to slumber, snoring heard along with the chirping of night creatures. Olett headed back into the castle for the night, for the morning, they march, with one brief meeting explained what is really going on with the Darkspawn and the Archdemon.   
  
"They are heading directly to Denerim. We are unsure as of why." Riordan concludes he needs to speak with the Wardens before getting rest for the upcoming battle. Deedolett spoke to her companions before heading to talk with Riordan, as she was going over possible strategies, arguing with the newest Warden recruit fuming by her side, one Loghain Mac Tir, he survived the joining, with much protest from her former lover.    
An hour had past and she went to meet with the senior Warden and Loghain in tow, she saw Alistair waiting by the door to Riordans' room eyes narrowed at the older man. "There you are, let us find out what he has to tell us." Alistair seethed, he hoped Loghain’s life was taken when Deedolett conscripted the former General, she kept her eyes downcast not willing to verbally answering him, bowed with an incline of her head, motioning her hand in the direction of the door, from the corner of her eye she watched him approach placing a large hand on her spine guiding her into the room.    
  
Loghain sneered, not because the boy before him was King, but because if they did survive this battle, his daughter will be executed. Riordan explained to them the real purpose of the Grey Wardens, it did not take long for Deedolett to speak up. "I will strike the final blow." All but demanding that she kill the demon herself, her broken heart taking her feelings over and this was just the release she was looking for, thirty years for Orzammar was not coming fast enough.   
  
"You are kidding, right?" Alistair looked at her questioningly; she refused to acknowledge him. Loghain smiled, “If she dies, my daughter will live.” Alistair turned swiftly meeting the former General nose to nose, “You will do well to still your tongue and tone. Your daughter did no better than you, she set your second to capture us. She tried to kill us, and for that, she will die, you managed to escape death.” he growled out with venom dripping from every word.   
  
Loghain opened his mouth then shut it just as quickly, clasping his hands behind his back head held high, a slight nod and steel gaze spoke volumes. With a clenched jaw, the young mage shot out a bolt of lightning between them, “The both of you will stop this, right now.” Olett stunned them with her outburst, with all eyes on her she turned her attentions to her Commander, she let him continue.    
  
Riordan raised a curious eyebrow, he was surprised Deedolett allowed the man to join with the crimes against him, they ticked off a list during the Landsmeet, "No, as Senior Warden I insist, my time is not long before my Calling. I would be more than happy to put an end to the Demon." Deedolett closed her eyes feeling further dejected blinking back the tears that started to sting, clenching and unclenching her fist releasing short bursts of flames. Riordan and Alistair looked and the young elven mage thoughtfully. 

Alistair's face twisted into an angry frown _ *You are trying to get yourself killed!*  _

Riordan’s thoughts went back to when she helped rescue him at the Arl's Estate in Denerim.  _ *No Fear, what-so-ever, so young and yet so powerful.*  _ He had watched her for a while and noticed the coldest aura in her demeanor.    
  
"Ser, is it possible to send Loghain away from the battle to Weisshaupt?" Riordan and the other two men in the room looked to the young woman, "I do not see why, we need all the hands we -" Olett waved her hand, "I forced his joining, I highly doubt he would want to serve Ferelden because he thinks it,  _ 'not a real blight.''  _ _   
_ _   
_ Loghain bristled at the statement, "My Lady, I will admit to my mistake, as Ferelden is my home, I will defend her as I always have."    
  
Turning her head slightly to look the man from the corner of her eye, "Then the last thing you should do is trying to kill me on the field." Excusing herself she left for her chamber for the night.  __ *May the Maker bless our mission and he takes me into his...*  Deedolett thought interrupted upon entering her room, she was alarmed by a figure standing near the fireplace interrupting her silent prayer.    
  
"Do not be alarmed, 'tis only I." Morrigan stepped from the shadows that danced about the room. "Is everything well, are you uncomfortable?" Olett went over to the witch and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I am well, 'tis a proposition I came to speak with you about if you are willing to hear it."    
The witch spoke, slowly turning to face Deedolett. "I am listening." Deedolett sat and listened to Morrigan tell of a ritual to ensure the survival of the Wardens when she finished she looked to the girl before her, her sister, her confidant.    
  
The contemplative look on Olett’s face seemed as if it would be possible, Morrigan had no reason to lie to her, always the truth, nodding with affirmation Olett chose her next words carefully.    
"What would you want in return?" Deedolett looking into Morrigan’s eyes as she asked the question. Morrigan was taken back by the rather flat reaction, "Well... to never be heard from again and raise the child how I see fit." She finished quickly, a tinge of pain when the words fell from her lips. She turned her jonquil eyes to Deedolett's "You and Alistair love each other and you have become a...are...." Morrigan cleared her throat; her creamy skin taking a rosy hue continued, "my newfound sister, my best friend you helped me when I needed it, you never asked for anything in return. I want, no, wish to do this for you."   
  
Deedolett saw compassion and fear for the briefest moment in the witch's eyes. Morrigan continued, "I wish you be in this world your existence has affected a great number of people - including mine, drastically I dare say, please let this be my thank you." 

Deedolett looked sympathetically at her with a smile, tears stinging her eyes, "Thank you for giving the choice." she nodded, "I will speak to him." Deedolett called over her shoulder as she walked to the door. The words were all too familiar and it twisted her stomach into a tight knot. 

~~*^*~~  
  
Deedolett came to his door; she stood for a moment and turned around going to head back to her room. Deedolett sighed turned back to the door and knocked quickly she was greeted with Alistair standing topless in his soft cotton pants the tie is undone. showing off his very well-toned body, he stepped back allowing her entrance.    
  
Alistair greeted her with a smile "Hello what brings you this late, you should be resting." he greeted warmly.    
  
"You're Highness." Deedolett bowed hesitating, her legs felt like she was wearing heavy armor.    
  
"Please, no formalities, come in." He stepped further away from the door into the room allowing her to step in. "Is there something the matter Deedolett?" voicing his concern over her appearance so late in the evening.    
  
Coming to stand in front of her, he took her by her hand guiding Olett to the bed, with his hands sliding down to her hips he sat, pulling her to stand between his legs Alistair reached for her face thumbing her soft cheeks. Her involuntary response caused her to pause, stepping away from his warm touch, "We need to talk..." she swallowed the lump in her throat before she continued, "You do know I love you right?"    
  
Alistair’s eyes narrowed, as his hands dropped to the bed, “I seriously hope you are joking.” With a shake of her head, swallowing thickly to coat her dry throat, “No joking this time.” Olett watches him leave shutting the door tight behind him she covered her mouth as a sob escaped her throat.    



	3. Mage Elf in the King's Court

Standing at five feet three inches tall, she graces the castle with her presence, her long sable hair, curls at the ends, is always elegantly pulled up with soft curls framing her face, she let it grow since the Blight, it came a little to her waist. A flawless caramel complexion that always seems to be aglow, long thick black lashes that line her exotic almond-shaped cat-like aquamarine eyes.    
  
A cute button nose, full inviting lips, slender perfumed neck, kissable soft shoulders, and full breast, small waist that is the envy of every female noble that comes to court, that leads to her curved hips, her firm round peach-shaped behind attached to long shapely well-defined legs and very petite feet, she never makes a sound when she walks.    
Deedolett Surana is what makes up the " _ Grey Warden, Champion of Redcliffe and Hero of Ferelden. _ " There are also just a few comments muttered about her, where ever she goes and always when she is out of earshot. Once, however, a few guards were caught leering at her making some such comment and promptly reprimanded, to busy admiring her than noticing the King standing right behind them.  _ *They are quite right, she is very delicious.*  _ he smirked knowing her physical  _ very  _ well. 

"Back to work, she could turn you into a toad you know." Alistair chuckled and went about his duties. 

~~*^*~~   
  
It had been five months since the Landsmeet and defeat of the Archdemon, she stayed on as his Regent and coroneted with nobility status, just two weeks after the Kings' own coronation, with some displeasure of several noble houses due to the fact she was an Elf and a Mage. She managed the Kingdom when the King was away on business, attending court implementing proper checks and balances ensuring the Kingdom ran smoothly. She helped rebuild the Denerim Alienage with Bann Shianni, providing them with the proper niceties, as a human dwelling would have. Along with suggested changes to the other Alienages in Ferelden. In a months’ time she would have to travel to Amaranthine, putting her Arlessa title to use, to see to the recruits that flocked and are housed in the new headquarters for a chance to be Grey Wardens within Ferelden. 

~~*^*~~    
  
The court was in session Deedolett was patiently waiting for the finishing discussion of several new projects to be implemented to the Denerim Market, when it was over Deedolett stood, "Will that be all your Highness?" she asked flatly. "Yes, and I would like to speak with you later." Looking up to see she was no longer standing in the spot he addressed, but noting the door to the throne room was closing behind her.  _ *I wish she would stop doing that.*  _ He thought sighing. "Now she won't stay in the same room as me unless it is business, she must be heading to the gardens." Rising from his chair he was greeted by a messenger, dismissing the boy he headed off after the elven mage. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett hurried up the hall cursing herself,  _ *Why did I promise to stay, why did I not go back to Kinloch? Hope. Maybe I should go, just pack and leave. I should have just left for Amaranthine and help with recruitment.*  _ She was stopped at the door leading to the gardens by the sound of clicking claws on the floor, looking up she sees her mabari, Tengu bounding up the hall barking happily, "Aww, hey boy, you want to come outside with me?" Deedolett squatted down to scratch him behind the ears, Tengu, barked and wagged his nub tail licking her cheek. She opened the door smiling as she watched one of her best friends run through the flower field to their small hideaway in the Castle gardens.    
  
Deedolett breathed in the sweet summer flora, her eyes catching their vibrant colors among the bright green sea of grass. She wandered off the path to a large oak, 'Grandfather' as she aptly named it, taking her seat under the mighty oak watching the sun play between the branches and leaves. She sighed pulling a perfectly preserved rose from her pocket.    
  
She kept it intact with her powers.  _ *Alistair why do I still love you?*  _ She fingered the amulet she wore, pulling it from its hiding place, looking at it she sighed. "Maybe I could go back to the Circle for a time." 

Remembering the days, she spent practicing and scribing her spells, with her fellow mages, remembering Cullen. A tear fell upon the velvety petals, "I am crying again." She sniffed wiping the stray drop from her cheek. With a sniff, she asked the large dog at her feet, "Tengu you think I should go?" Tengu growled which she took as his displeasure. "Well, what do  _ you  _ suggest I..." when he growled again her voice trailed off. "What is it boy?" Deedolett look in the direction Tengu was facing, noticing the presence approaching, she stashed the rose back into her pocket, getting up bowing to addressing the King. "You're Highness."


	4. Can we discuss this?

Deedolett was startled when the King approached, swiftly getting up to address him. "Do you have need of me your Highness?" She narrowed her eyes before bowing her head. Halting his movements, he opened his mouth then quickly closed it again, stepping a few feet closer.    
  
"Why must you be so formal; you are being silly just call me Alistair." he extended his hand for her to take. Retracting his hand when Tengu growled. Clearing his throat, he smiled fondly to his former lover, "Your dress is quite lovely, it is a very suitable color on you." He looked her over during court, trying his best to focus on what was coming out of her mouth than the exposed cleavage that was fueling the lurid thoughts of her in his bed.    
  
Deedolett wore a silk silver dress that fell off her shoulders, trimmed with dyed black silk with embroidered swirls of silver thread, with the end of her sleeves embroidered the same as well, slightly covering the backs of her hands exposing her long elegant fingers. It continued on hugging her breast as it dipped low in the front, the gown clung to her behind then flared at her hips stopping at her ankles so she would not trip with a short train that sweep the floor.   
  
Deedolett bowed even lower, "Yes your Highness." She hissed keeping her head low. Alistair shivered "Did it just get colder out here it's not Haring just yet. Is it?" he let out an exasperated sigh placing his hands behind his back.    
Deedolett kept her eyes downcast refusing to meet his gaze, Alistair cleared his throat "Yes well why do we not talk?" She cut him off "We are talking."    
  
He grunted, "Yes well, why have you not looked me in the eye?" Thinking he had outsmarted her,  _ *Show me those beautiful eyes*.  _ She raised her eyebrow slightly lifting her aquamarine eyes to meet his smoked topaz looking past him slightly retorted, "I am looking at you." 

Feeling his anger about to get the better of him placed his hands behind his back in restraint. 

~~*^*~~    
He had a firsthand taste of her heart when they had to go to Kinloch Hold to save Connor, when they finally did find him Cullen had been abused mentally and physically, vowing to save who she could Deedolett refused to do otherwise, with her saving her mentor she tried her damnedest to tend to the injuries she could see on him.    
  
Deedolett confides with Alistair later that her feelings for the Templar were real, Alistair witnessed her heartbreak at his hated words to her, her tears as she pushed who he was and now is from her mind.    
Deedolett pressed on and soon they were back in Redcliffe speaking to her fellow mage Jowan, he committed the most heinous of acts, Blood Magic, regardless of the severity of the situation, he hurt her, lied to her and yet she did not want to see her friend killed.    
It was sadly un-avoided, after all, she saved Arl Eamon, Connor and Lady Isolde. Eamon could not grant her the simple request of sparing his life and letting the Circle have him. Even standing up to his sister Goldanna, when he then stepped between them, she is always willing to sacrifice herself instead of any other.    
  
~~*^*~~    
  
_ *She is so courageous and I too let her down.*  _ He saw the amulet she is wearing twinkle when the sun hit it, Alistair cleared his throat  _ *She still wears it? I thought she gave him up?*  _ "I see... I just wanted to say that I truly value our friendship..." He started to take a few steps forward; she took a step back and placed a barrier between them, "You still wear...What the!" Alistair hit his head on the near translucent shield.    
  
"If I may be so bold you're Highness, this is what I feel like our  _ friendship  _ has become." She stepped back again. "No, let me clarify..." she threw two more barriers, "This is what it is like for me since the day you cast me from your heart." Clenching her fist tightly it started to glow blue she calmed a bit and taking several deep breaths. " _ Friendship _ ." She mocked his attempt at smoothing things over.    
  
"I never cast you from my heart, it was..." He watched her as she reached into her pocket to pull the deep red rose into view. "You kept it?" Alistair whispered looking in her tiny hand. She put her free hand on the force field looking up into his eyes – remembering love, unknowingly she started to tear again. It was breaking his heart, "Deedolett drop the field."    
  
"No!" she hissed in a harsh whisper shaking her sable head as the curls danced about her shoulders.    
Alistair pounded on the barrier "Deedolett drop the damned field, or should I just break through?"  _ *Why did I say that?*  _ He cringed.    
"If that is what you wish to do." she looked at the rose then back to his face with hate and hurt in her eyes. 

Dispelling the shield, he reached for her, seizing her by her waist not being able to take it any longer her absence in his arms, pressed her body tight to his broad chest. Tengu growled and with a look from Alistair, the mabari ducked his head. 

She went rigged at his touch, he entangled his hands into her soft feather-light hair gripping tightly forcing her to look up at him she stood her ground, her glare just as icy not giving in to any emotions.    
Alistair leaned closer, his breath fanning her face in the warm air, his arousal assaulting her nose causing butterflies to flitter in her stomach, grasping at anything to have him release her from his muscled arms that pressed into her back, "You need to find a wife."   
  
With a disapproving hiss he let her go, she stumbled back slightly as she slipped from his arms, clenching her teeth missing his strong grip on her, she continued needing him to leave or she before she returns hungry for his touch.    
"I left several candidate letters in your study, your Highness." Receiving the desired response, his silence, she bowed "Now if you have no more need of me."    
  
Before he could give her any sort of answer she turned to leave. He grabbed her by the arm, with a growl, swinging her around and crushed his lips to hers kissing her with heated passion, licking her lower lip with an escaped moan her lips parted and he invaded her with his tongue.    
  
Once again tangling his hands into her hair, she could feel his growing arousal pressing firm on her taut stomach, her core was heating, she could feel herself dampen with each slide of his tongue with each grope of her firm behind, he was crushing her to his chest, her breast ached for his touch, but she had to let go.    
Pressing her hands on his chest she sent a shockwave that stumbled the large King back. Panting she stared at him, tears trickled from her eyes rolling down her reddened cheeks, she wiped the offending kiss from her mouth and ran back into the castle. 

Alistair stood there with Tengu watching her retreating back, looking down at Tengu then back up he took the vacant seat. Rubbed his face in his hand, her scent still lingered on his palms. "I must have really put my foot in it this time, huh boy?" Tengu growled in agreement then trotted off after his mistress.


	5. Questions in my mind.

Deedolett made her way to her bedroom frustrated, _ *How dare he question my presences, why does he care if we converse privately or in a friendly manner, how dare he kiss me!* _ "WHY!" she shouted slamming the door behind her, feeling her heart flutter like the beat of a hummingbird's wings and cheeks burn with fever. She walked over to her vanity to wash her face, to cool the burning fever she steadily tries to rid herself from that kiss if her head wasn’t clear she would have given in.   
Olett couldn’t give in, he tossed their relationship aside, it was well before dinner the elven mage took a short nap hoping to further quiet her heart. She woke with a start, an erotic dream woke her, she groaned inwardly finding sleep unrestful started to prepare herself for dinner, when the attendant finally arrived with a knock on her door, announcing dinner was ready she was already dressed and heading out of the door following behind attendant. 

~~*^*~~   
  
She sat silently throughout the better part of dinner, picking at her food, with all the chatter going on around her. She excused herself from the table, finding the company of his majesty ruining her appetite, she stopped to ask an attendant for her wrap to be brought to the garden door, for her nightly stroll. Instead of the attendant with her wrap, it was Wynne who greeted her a short time later waiting at the door "I hope you do not mind the company child." The older woman asked.   
  
"No, not at all." Deedolett held the door for her they walked enjoying the evening air when Olett looked up to see stars racing across the sky. There were no words spoken as they watched in awe until Wynne broke the quite calm. "Dinner was delicious tonight, did you think so?" observing that Deedolett is greatly distracted even through dinner. In a trance-like state Deedolett tearing her eyes to the Elder woman with her, shook her head, "Oh, I apologize, yes dinner was lovely it was one of my favorites." Deedolett looked at the ground as they walked on, "I am sorry Wynne."   
  
They stopped and Deedolett helped Wynne to the empty bench nearest them, "No need to apologize, I can see that there is something bothering you, anything you care to talk about dear?" Deedolett searched the evening sky, still seeing trails of light as the seemed to play tag, for an answer blurting out the burning questions that echoed in her mind, "Why am I here, why did I decide to stay, what is my purpose here, I know what my role is but..." Her voice trailed off, she sighed and hung her head.   
Wynne gave Deedolett a much-needed hug "So this is the cause of your troubles, you are still in love." Wynne grinned.   
  
Deedolett shot her head up "No, I just... I do not feel like I have a real reason to be here anymore, everything is running smoothly, I should either go to Kinloch or unexpectedly go to Amaranthine where I will be of some use." The older woman stopped her ranting with a wave of her hand "He does care about you still."   
  
Deedolett made a sour face mumbling, "I wish I could believe that. He would not be the first to break my heart. Nug loving Templers, his attitude now is much worse than when we first met, he seems overly possessive, it... Worries me." She started to play with the fine gold chain around her neck.   
  
Wynne chortled at her response "Wynne it isn't funny, you heard him, _ everyone _ heard him, he needs to find a bride who can produce him an heir." Absently her hand trailed to her taut stomach, closing her eyes briefly she continued, "I knew from the start, but so many words..." Deedolett bit her lip and pushed the thought far from her mind, again.   
Wynne remembering the day in question she took Deedolett's hands while she continued, the elf cleared her throat to remove the lump that caught. "I made it a personal project of mine to do that he has scores of eligible women to choose from." Deedolett started to fidget with the amulet attached to the necklace, calming herself, again while Wynne nodded her agreement. 

  
"But has he looked yet?" Wynne patted the young mages’ shoulder, hoping to fill her mind with hope the girl desperately needs.   
"Wynne, there is something else I have been keeping a secret." Deedolett looked back to the stars for guidance when a sudden chill caught the air. "Oh my, it is getting chilly, care to help an old lady to her room?"   
  
It was Deedolett's turn to laugh, "You are not old and you know it." Wiping a stray tear that managed to escape.   
Wynne linked arms with her friend, "What is it you were saying?" "I had gotten sick a few months after the Archdemon's defeat and it has been going off and on." Deedolett heard Wynne gasp.   
"No, no..." She laughed nervously "It isn't that, Alistair... I can barely sense him it is almost as before I first joined, it is faint."   
  
"Oh my, have any idea why that is? Or what caused it to happen?" Wynne stopped them a few feet before going into the castle.   
  
"No, I just started to slowly get sick and I am not feeling..." She admitted sadly stopping and looked towards Alistair's bedchamber. Wynne nodded and they walked keeping their voices low. They continued to chat all the way to Wynne's room "Goodnight my friend, thank you for listening to my rambles, I will talk to you further in the morning." Wynne rubbed Deedoletts’ shoulder hoping that she felt a little better, "See you tomorrow my Dear." 

~~*^*~~   
  
Heading to her room Deedolett prepared for bed, the hot bath made her feel slightly better than she had, she set to do her hair- brushing then braiding it into a chignon for the night. "I am glad I talked it out, not like you are bad company Tengu." Deedolett mused at Tengu's whimper. “I speak with you about other things, you cannot be that upset I didn’t confide in you, coming to bed?” She changed for bed in a simple slip nightgown, turned down her sheets, climbed into bed slipping into a peaceful slumber.   
  
A few hours had passed when there was a heavy knock on her door sleepily she dragged herself out of bed to answer the door. "Yes?" she dragged out as she headed to the think oak door, her answer, a deep kiss on the lips. 


	6. Such Formalities.

Deedolett was pushed back into her room with her back pressed against the wall. Still groggy her thoughts screamed * _ Alistair!*  _ She sniffed the air around her * _ No wait!*  _ she sent an electric jolt through his side. "You're still as shocking as ever my Dear Warden." He grunted as the room dimmed. 

"Zevran what are you doing here?" she said dragging him by the arm to a chair nearest her vanity. "I figured I would stop in to see how you all are, my Deedolett, as always to be welcomed by the most beautiful Warden ever."    
  
She was lighting a few candles shirking off his flattery, "You do know the guards could have caught you, did you visit the King?"    
  
"No, I just arrived I did not stop to see the Warden King." Zevran shook his head, raised an eyebrow, but did not comment on the formality given to her fellow Warden. He strode over to her bed promptly laying down propping his head on the pillows with hands behind his head. "I could sleep here if you do not mind." He yawned through words.    
  
"I do mind Zevran." She turned and looked at him grinning for a few seconds with electricity emanating from her fingertips.    
  
"Alright, alright where too now?" moving from his very comfortable position.   
  
"Follow me." She closed her bed robe escorting Zevran to a guest room in the West Hall. 

~~*^*~~  
  
"I will have his Majesty notified you are going to be joining us for a time." Arriving at his room, she made sure he had all the necessities he needed, minus a few rather unreasonable request.    
  
"No, I will not stay with you I have my own bed." She giggled in the doorway.    
  
"Thank you for showing me to the room, you could have let the help do it, Princessa. Oh before you go, my dear, may I ask a simple question?"    
  
"I do not mind I am the help after all. Certainly, my friend, I will try to provide an answer." She turned back to face the assassin turned friend.   
  
Zevran looked at her thoughtfully through narrowed eyes,  _ *You are assuredly not the help.*  _ "Why such formalities with Alistair?" He stood with his arms folded with a pleasant smirk playing on his lips. Turning a rosy hue, she stood tall with a huff, "Good-night Zevran." Finally closing the door behind her. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett quickly made her way back to her room when she was intercepted at the King’s request, making her way to the King's study, wanting nothing more than to get back to her warm bed. His assistant knocked on the door and for a second, knocked lightly once more waiting his command. "Enter." Alistair called from within the room. Deedolett entered standing but a few feet from the threshold, "Your Highness, Lady Surana to see you.” Jar’ad bowed low leaving the two alone with a click of the door shutting tight. Alistair was looking over papers but looked up pausing on the small Elven woman at the door, his smoky topaz eyes took in her visage, sent a jolt of passion through him. 

Her aqua eyes locked into his in defiance, “I have news to inform you that Zevran has arrived and is presently in the West Hall." Her stare hard and cold, her mind to leave seemed to be screaming as she felt the heat of his glare and appraisal of dress, that quirk of his lip shooting tickles between her legs. 

  
Olett’s breathing quickened her breast swelling nipples hardening beneath the soft fabric, she needed to get away from him, her body betraying her. Noting their friend was indeed the one he heard had entered the palace, he’s nodding at her statement, taking it that he had answered her she turned to leave, as she opened the door his head shot up. "Why did you not send your maid to see him to the West Wing?" The question seemed easy enough to answer, she decided to leave instead. * _ Why didn't I send him with her, what is the matter with me.*  _ Deedolett clicked the latch as she stated to open the door.    
Alistair slowly rising to his feet "I asked you a question, be kind enough to answer before you go."    
  
_ *Please not now.*  _ Deedolett's form looked as if the wind knocked out of her sails. 

~~*^*~~    
  
He stood from the desk, slowly walked around the desk towards her, "Anything you wear you are my undoing." He stated under his breath, but her elven ear hears him as if he screamed it from the rooftops, she needed to leave, her stomach twisted in knots at his approach, She whipped around a few curls that were neatly piled atop her head shook loose.    
  
His pulse quickened "So, why?" with bated breath he waited for a sign, any sign. She closed the door again and turned to face him, with downcast eyes. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, taking a deep breath, "I am unsure, I acted on instinct?"    
  
_ *Thank you, Maker, thank you.*  _ He breathed a sigh of relief motioning toward a seat nearest the fireplace. Closing his eyes as if trying to wake from a dream, he chose his words carefully before speaking taking in her light floral scent and she passed, he becoming uncomfortably stiff in his pants. "I would like it if you could, tell me what is wrong, you are so withdrawn and distant."    
  
Deedolett sat staring at her hands, "What do you mean exactly, majesty?"    
  
"That, that right there why do you insist on addressing me by title only. I know I have countless times implore you to refer to me as you used to" He is angered bubbled, still by her coldness.   
  
" _ You  _ are the King after all, and regardless of the title  _ I  _ now hold, you are still... _ King _ ." She said as graciously as possible.    
  
"Also I know I asked you earlier today," He tried to find the words to not run her off, feeling his temper rise. "Why do we not speak, like before, or you look at me?" He was pleading in his question searched her awaiting an answer that has caused her to be so devoid of emotions, towards him anyway.    
  
"You do not know, your Highness?" She looked at him with such defiant fire that it could have melted his core, one look into those Aquamarine eyes and it came back.   
  
"By the Maker, I am an idiot, The Landsmeet." He grabbed her hand. "I am so sorry. I did not mean to say what I said in front of everyone like that, please for the love of the Maker forgive me. I did not want you to allow Loghain into the Order, selfish I know I should not have acted that way."    
  
Deedolett looked away closing her eyes  _ *He is so far off.*  _ He was on bended knee in front of her, holding her small hands in his, "Words cannot express how sorry I am, I was not thinking, you took what I said, I assumed well." He then brought her hands to his lips.    
His lips felt so soft and warm against her skin she opened her mouth then closed it as Alistair began to speak again, "I would like to thank you for your help, all your help with the Kingdom if I hadn't said so already."   
  
"You are welcome, your Highness." She pulled her hands away, placing them back in her lap her pulse was hammering, he could surely hear it. Pulling her shawl closer to her body despite the heat he was causing.    
  
"There is something else if you do not mind my saying." She bit her cheek closing her eyes in thought.   
  
"Anything Deedolett, I am all ears." He purred as he leaned in closer.    
  
"The taint in me is growing weaker." Deedolett looked him in the eye then turned her head away.   
  
Alistair's eyes widened, "What? How?" he stated in a breathless whisper. Deedolett started to wring her hands.    
  
"I am unsure, and it may have something to do with Morrigan's ritual or the fact I am an Elf or even a Mage. But the normal Warden signs are weakening." She was clutching her nightgown.   
  
"How is this possible?" He looked at her for the longest time, trying to probe more information than what she gave.    
  
She stood with her back facing him he places his hands on her shoulders, she put a hand on his and removed it from her person the warmth of his hand burned like fire on her skin. Shaking her head clear continued before she completely forgets, "Another thing, I have been going over this a few times and I came to the decision that I am leaving the court and going to go back to Kinloch before going to Amaranthine." She turned to face him he was shaking his head.    
  
"No. No why?" All the air seemed to leave his lungs. Deedolett was not going to answer him; she walked over to his desk touching the quill in the inkwell. "I see you have been going over the potential brides I left for you." She picked up one of the Ladies from the top of the pile and put it back down.    
  
"No, not really," Alistair grunted feeling his anger swell.   
  
"You need to find a wife, my _ friend _ ."  She looked through the stacks and plucked one that caught her interest handing him the letter taking her place near the door again.    
  
"Why do you want to leave, are you unhappy here?" he looked at the letter she handed him "How can you just leave?" he said sounding irritated, his thought trailed to the Templar Cullen.   
  
"No, your Highness, I  _ need  _ to leave and you  _ need  _ to find a wife." She faced him again. "I am not unhappy per-say I just need to feel purpose again." Her heart felt heavy as she spoke to him.    
  
"I can include you in other duties I always * _ need you* _ , need your help or you can appoint another as Warden-Commander." He stated hopefully, she narrowed her eyes slightly.   


_ *Warden-Commander. It should keep me busy, and away from Alistair.* " _ The bottom line is...you  _ need  _ to find a wife."    
  
"You keep saying that, I'll...I.... I." he started to stammer, rubbing his face in his hands to rid himself of further aggravation, * _ anything to keep her a while longer, think Alistair think, I got it!*  _ he found his voice. "I want to share with you the reason I gave you the rose."


	7. Moonglow

Alistair gestured to the seat she was setting in earlier. He cleared his throat. "Well it was a spring night; the moon was full as shone brightly. I was on patrol while the others were resting back at camp."    
He paused for a second, "You were making your way to the lake far from camp," he smiled as he recounted his memory, "I followed you, I watched as you laid a blanket out, then turning to the water extended your hand heating the water with your flames."    
  
She watched him recall his memories he made the same hand motions she had. "You sat down and pulled your boots off, then you...you." He blushed feverishly "Maker I cannot believe that I am telling you this. You took off your robe."    
  
His ears were beet red by this time; he threw his hands up in defense. "I promise you that I wasn't leering on purpose, I did turn away. I then heard the water splash I did look again." He was so lost in thought, once more it was like he was watching her all over again. "The water was up to your waist and you did the most amazing thing ever." He was standing as he spoke he then took the vacant seat next to Deedolett.    
"You made the water dance, that is the best way that I can describe it, you lifted and swirled it about your body. The droplets clung to your smooth unblemished skin like armor it sparkled in the moonlight like stars in the sky." He faced her taking her hands in his, pulling her close to his broad muscled chest leaning his head to place hot kisses along her neck and collarbone, "You were and are absolutely the most breathtaking woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing."    
  
Kissing his way behind her tapered ear, and along her silken jaw her stomach tightened, and a heavy breath escaped her parted lips.    
She was wringing the robe in her hands, sensing her tension he ran rough fingers along her neck feeling her shiver under his touch, "Are you appalled because I shared with you my most personal secrets or?" Pulling back to face her, giving his boyish smirk hoping that she was going to counter with one of her witty retorts.    
  
She was happy to hear how he felt, the reason for the rose, but the damage was done. Olett bolted upright tugging her wrap and gown to hid almost all skin that was exposed, her body alight with want and her need craving him more she was more furious with her betraying body than that of him, "You need to find a wife, I need to leave, you  _ NEED TO _ !" she repeated herself shaking her head, pacing the length of the fireplace.    
  
Alistair was confused, "What is the matter, what did I do?" Deedolett kept repeating herself she pushed him away, getting up darting to the door. 

Just reaching the door he grabbed her by the waist jerking her gently pulling her close to him feeling his warmth on her face and strong arms around her shoulders brought all the reasons why she needs to get away from him.    
  
He took in the scent of Meadowsweet in her hair, kissing the top of her head, mumbling his apologies in her soft locks, "I am so sorry if I could take back what I said I would, please for the love of the Maker forgive me." She continued to sob quietly still letting him hold her. 

~~*^*~~    
  
After several moments of hearing just the crackling of the fireplace near them, Deedolett wiped her tear-stained face, pulling away from Alistair, with her head-hanging turning away from him. "I apologize for the sudden outburst, your Highness, I will be heading to bed now."    
  
Alistair quieted her "No need to apologize, why don't you take the day off perhaps a week better yet."   
  
"No thank you, Your Highness, I am capable of performing my daily duties, I will be heading to Lothering, Redcliffe as well as the Magi Tower on my way to Amaranthine." She stated flatly as she turned to face him, her eyes were pink and slightly swollen.    
  
His eyes narrowed, he placed his arms behind his back, "Oh, when are you leaving?"   
  
"Tomorrow afternoon."    
  
"I will speak with Zevran in the morning thank you for bringing him to my attention you could have told Jar'ad you needed rest, good-night Deedolett."    
  
Swiftly opening the door she slipped out just as quickly, "Good-night your Highness." She closed the door behind her.   
  
"I do love you, Deedolett." He called softly at the door. 


	8. Silver-lined Storm Cloud

Deedolett arrived in Redcliffe a week after she left Denerim checking the progress of the town, on route to the Magi Tower, guarded well due to the King's not so quiet protest. Gathering a few supplies from several shops in the village she also stopped to shop for a few knick-knacks. She remembered the gifts she uses to get for her companions as well as her heart, Alistair.    
  
Musing to herself as she browsed the jewelry stall she spotted a thin gold chain, with an aquamarine gem attached, when a rather larger shadow eclipsed her tiny frame. "My Lady, that necklace there would look lovely on you, to match your even more beautiful eyes." His voice was gruff and low as he whispered in her ear.    
A pair of large hands reached around her taking the chain, she moved her hair out of the way so it could be clasped in place, it rested comfortably between her collarbones.    
  
"Thank you, my lord." She touched the smooth stone it was cool to the touch. 

  
She reached into her coin purse to pay for the necklace her hand was enveloped by his hand.    
Teagan grinned "I will handle this and you, My Lady are quite welcome." As he leaned closer once more to pay the merchant, he caught the faint sweet scent of clove in her hair. He looked at the outfit she had Hyssop braided in her hair, she wore a snug ivory laced bodice, showing off her gracious bosom, with light blue ribbons woven around the shoulders and the elbows in little bows. Her skirt fitted at her hips and flared to the ground.    
  
She took a step back from the shop stall showing off her tiny shoes that matched the Hyssop adorning her hair. He gestured for her to take his arm, granting him a warm smile. "I appreciate the necklace, and how has the reconstruction process been going since the last visit?"    
  
Allotting funds to help with the project of rebuilding Redcliffe village, granted by Alistair as soon as he was able, was slow and steady progress, and it all came together nicely. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett and her troupe headed to Redcliffe to receive assistance from Arl Eamon, having found the village below the castle was in dire need of help, Olett did what she could to assist. Managing to help save everyone in the village by fighting the undead that were plaguing the castle, with the steadfast assistance of the very man who pled help, and was escorting the young mage about the market stalls.    
  
"Things have been going well we started trading with the surrounding cities once we were able.” They had stopped to admire the reconstruction he broke the quiet. "My Lady, if I may be so bold, how are you and our beloved King or are you here on business?" he raised a slight russet eyebrow.    
Feeling herself turn pink with the thought of his question she started to shuffle at the ground, "I kind of ran away from the castle," she chuckled, in turn, causing Teagan's eyes to go wide.   
"Not really, I just needed to..." she took a deep breath looking anywhere to keep the tears from escaping, lest she burst in a fit of laughter at his expression. "I needed to gather my thoughts." She hung her head brushing a strand of hair from her eyes. Teagan escorted her to the castle, after inquiring her length of stay he promptly made sure her caravan was settled for the remainder of her stay. 

~~*^*~~    
  
After a delightful dinner, they sat for an after-dinner drink to talk about her 'running away.' She told of her feelings of stagnating as it felt impossible to live in the court with everything running seemingly smooth, saying she has a job needing to do and on her way to Amaranthine to rebuild the Warden Order.    
Teagan went as far as to offer a room for her in the castle for however long she needed, now that Eamon was an adviser to the crown with his former home in severe disarray. When she tried to refuse he would hear nothing of it. "When you conclude your business in Amaranthine, I would be more than happy to have you here with me." Her color rose slightly at his boldness, him taking her delicate hand brushing his lips against her knuckles. 

Her temperature and heart rate quickened, "It may be a long while until I return. Are you planning on courting me, Ser?" She batted her thick ebony lashes feeling quite dizzy with this possible proposal.  
  
With a sly grin, he kissed her hand once more allowing the lingering warmth of his lips as his breath fanned her caramel hand sending delightful shivers of gooseflesh trailing up her arms. "I would be more than happy to wait for my lady." His voice laced with want, bade her goodnight as he showed her to her room for the evening. She bid him goodnight heading to the warm bath that was prepared minutes later, she sorely needed one.   
  
The thought was a seductive one, to say the least, another man to touch her to hold her at night, her stomach twisted into a knot Alistair’s face sprung to mind, dashing the thought of him away she made her way to bed. Laying there in the darkened room Wynne's words came flooding back about how selfish love is. _*How could I keep letting the feelings for him torment me so?* _Deedolett drifted off weighing her options, it had been a while since she was courted and Teagan accepted her for who she is and not her station. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Alistair received Deedolett's letter a month after her arrival at Redcliffe. "Here I thought she has forgotten about me." Alistair broke the wax seal unfolding the vellum.    
  
_ 'King Alistair Theirin,  _ __   
__   
_ Everything in Lothering is well, the town is rebuilding nicely and I have however decided to take an extended stay in Redcliffe. I will make my way to Kinloch Hold as told you I would.'  _ __   
__   
Alistair rose a curious eyebrow "I assume she will be staying to help with a building design or some such, he continued.    
  
_ 'I will send word after I settle in the Tower well then I shall make my way to Amaranthine. Warden-Commander Deedolett Surana Arlessa of Amaranthine.  _ __   
__   
"What is this, no love you or missing you forever yours?" He chuckled to himself spotting a second piece of vellum behind the first. "Oh, there is a  _ 'love note' _ ." He smiled his impish grin, which soon turned into a frown.    
  
_ 'After my findings and you receive my report, I might be unable to send anther missive for a time. Eamon has been informed already about my leave and will take over my duties. Arl Teagan sends his regards.'  _ __   
__   
Alistair crumpled the letter throwing them in the fireplace watching them burn. 


	9. The Brewing Storm

After watching the letter turn to ashes he was furious, "Teagan sends his regards Bah! He is twice my age! He has been on her since..." Alistair seethed. "Two can play this game, love." He thought darkly as he exited his study.    
  


~~*^*~~    
  


With the weeks that followed he spent more nights in the company of several of the noblewomen that had and had not been lined up for him, as well as the training grounds, if not more so.    
One day, in particular, the sound of clashing metal rang thought the corridor leading outside.  Alistair was in rare form, his father's sword in one hand Duncan's shield in the other. He bashed one soldier, ducking an incoming blow from behind, the soldiers; six in total came at the king. One after the other he knocked them down.    
"Come on you shits, Fight!" He yelled as it echoed off the walls.    
  
"But we wish, not, to harm his Majesty." One out of breath soldier panted while helping another to his feet off the ground.    
  
"You bleeding cowards, I faced hordes of Darkspawn, a fucking Broodmother, High Dragons, you deign to think you can hurt me." He chides them with a boisterous laugh.    
  
"But Your Majesty?" The guard almost whined. Zevran had been watching the whole display from his position in the shady archway, "I will be happy to fight you, my dear Warden King." cleaning his nails with one of his daggers raising his citrine eyes from his hands, taking stalking steps towards Alistair.    
  
"So be it." Alistair growled Zevran walked casually up to the middle of the ring. A guard was running to go get Eamon and Wynne. "So King Warden, you want to explain why you are taking your anger out on your poor men?" he motioned to the beaten and breathless men standing against the fence.    
  
"Simple, Zev sparing nothing more." Alistair gritted his teeth as he glared at Zevran who started to circle then slipping into the shadows, disappearing from the large man’s sights. Alistair was already agitated and Zevran's tricks were doing nothing to soften his mood.   
"Stop with the tricks and fight."    
  
"Si in due time, in due time." Zevran launched a quick attack to the left shoulder then the center of Alistair's back, causing the King to stumble, Alistair swung his shield out to catch the Antivan, quickly Zevran came up and caught him in the jaw causing him to trickle blood from the corner of his mouth.    
  
A few of the guards cringed, with a few cheers in the backgrounds, the grounds were starting to fill even with some servants, female of course. Alistair spit, rushing at Zevran he trips falling hard to the ground, hard.    
"Give up, Warden King?" Zevran reappeared letting a hardy laugh filled the air. As Alistair became further enraged, "Not yet, you son of a whore!" he roared throwing his sword and shield aside catching Zevran square in the jaw.    
  
Zevran threw his daggers at a nearby tree, just missing the head of a guard. He did a series of backflips landing behind Alistair sending a roundhouse kick to his back, sending the king to the ground again. 

"Haha, now the games, they begin no?" Zev smirked. Bets were being placed at this point. Alistair was fast but he was showing signs of wryness, he lunged and swung at Zev's head. The elf ducked landing a quick jab to larger man’s stomach.    
He gasped and with a quick burst of energy went to kick Zevran in his stomach, only to be caught and with a twist pushed Alistair back to the ground. "There is no more need for this senseless brawl, you are better than this, no?"    
  
"We haven't begun to brawl." Alistair spat, jumping up caught his second wind, swinging at his head then catching him quickly in the stomach, sending the assassin flying off his feet. Coming after him with a stomp to his bronzed head, Zevran's lithe and limber body maneuvered him out of the way clipping Alistair taking his feet from under him. Zevran scrambled to get to his feet first but was caught unawares by a hand gripped tightly around his ankle dragging him back to the earth.    
  
Tried he was out of breath and exhausted, the blonde Antivan rolled over panting, both looking at the sky. "That will be all from the both of you!" an exasperated Wynne called from the archway.    
"He started it!" both men raised a tired finger to point to the other.    
"Maker help you two." She pinched the bridge of her nose.    
  
"What happened here?" Eamon showed a moment later, "Is everything alright?" he hurried near were the two still lay catching their breaths.    
  
Alistair sat up first, dusted himself off, storming away from the group. Zevran sat there looking the direction of the retreated King then looked at Eamon shrugging. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Kinloch Hold, known as the Circle, majestic and beautiful island that sits containing the most powerful magi as well as new additions added monthly to their growing 'family' as the seniors, such as herself had gone off to study on their own, some becoming Grey Wardens.    
Containing Human, Elf alike and one Dwarf. Had been rebuilt in honor of the very woman who is on her way to visit her former home, the veil was thin and fear of the demons that once possessed the tower was torn down and built anew.    
  
The Circle also houses Templars, sent by the Chantry who guards the mages with a tight leash, or not so tight asking Greagoir for her fellow magi to not be so harshly judged. Deedolett entered said tower to make her visits and report of anything that may be needed, inventory if you will. She was greeted by Knight-Commander Greagoir, who in the past resented the young woman’s decisions in sighting she was 'breaking rules as Irving's favorite' during Jowan's escape.    
  
"Despite my past feelings young lady I am happy to see you again." Greagoir smiled leading her to the First Enchanter's study. "I am happy to see you well, how has Connor been adjusting?" She nodded her greetings to several of the magi as she walked the halls. "I have been busy honestly with the new Templars recruits, I did see him in passing, he is looking quite well, hadn't had much of an opportunity to speak with the boy."    
  


They stopped at Irving's door with Greagoir quickly knocking then opening the door, to allow Deedolett entrance. "Hello First Enchanter Irving." Deedolett smiled brightly at the man who has been a surrogate father to her. "Ah, my dear, how have you been?" the older man walked from his desk to hug the young woman.    
  
"I miss the Circle." Deedolett said with a sniff.    
  
"But you are in a better place to do a world of good yes, what brings you here child?" Irving leads her to a seat, Greagoir excused himself leaving the two mages alone to talk. 

~~*^*~~   
  
Deedolett had a room ready for her after she inquired about the wellbeing of Dagna, she use to live in Orzammar. She wished to travel to Kinloch Hold to study and to help her people better. Also checked in with Connor, Arl Eamon's son, who was a young mage that had a desire demon trapped within him she helped eradicate, sending greetings from his father.    
  
Connor and Dagna have adjusted quite well to Circle life. She mingled with several of the younger magi and helped them with some off their studies, getting the feeling that she as being watched. Shaking it off she made her way to the kitchen for dinner and then to bed for some much-needed sleep.    
Deedolett reached her room as she prepared for bed she spotted a box on the foot of the bed she saw there was no note, lifting the lid she smiled taking what was in the box she ran to the door. Outside in the hall stood Cullen, who stared at her as if she was an apparition and going to disappear at any moment.    
  
She gave Cullen a bright grin, as she stepped in the hall with him. Dropping her eyes to the shoes in her hands clutched them tightly, spoke ever so softly, "Thank you, I thought I had lost these."    
He spoke as if she were a stranger direct and clear, "No you did not when you had left with the Grey Warden, I stole these in case you returned." He glared that the shoes she was clutching to her chest. He was wavering, once thinking she perished, from the news at Ostagar to confessing his helpless infatuation with her to shoving her away completely when she tried to tend to his wounds.    
Here she is before him, he heard the word of her arrival but refused to acknowledge it until seeing her, or who he thought was her with his own eyes.    
  
Deedolett looked up to see his cool amber eyes look expectantly, feeling a slight unease "Would you like to come in to talk, I would like to know how you have been getting along..." she paused looking down at the cold stone floor.  _ *She has not yet reached for me, she is here then? No, I shall test this creature.*  _ Cullen thought bitterly.    
His thoughts still haunted him of the horrible nightmares he endured from Uldred, he felt the breath still of that demon shaped in her form. Everywhere he turned, each apprentice, every giggle, even the younger children he saw Deedolett.    
  
Transfixed on her face she seemed different her eyes lighter, not the same they were almost glowing. Fighting every urge to grab her and shake her, his mind still replaying what she... ‘ _ she _ ’ did to him. " _ *If you are real*  _ Will you dance for me again, we will talk then." He watched her nod her head slowly. "I will see you at the pavilion in four days then. Good-night ." Cullen turned to leave in the direction of the Templar's quarters. 

  
A lump lodged itself in her throat almost rendering her unable to speak, her brow knitted as she forced herself a pleasant smile, tears stinging like fire, "Thank you again and goodnight to you too." She called up the hall to his retreating form. Breathing hard she shook her head of when she saw her dearest friend last, "Maybe he has forgiven me." She pulled the amulet from its spot under her nightdress and started to rub her thumb over it. She slipped it back in its place and went to sleep dreaming of the days to come. 

~~*^*~~    
  
The few days she spent with the children, filled her with joy, she headed to the kitchen for something to eat, it was empty during the lunch hour. The halls seemed quieter somehow, she took a stroll out to the pavilion after lunch for a stretch, preparing herself for Cullen's dance, it brought back happier memories as a few Templars and magi watched her practice. She twirled, balanced and leaped until she finished, one young Templar did not recognize her right off and dispelled her of her mana, she slumped to the ground from wobbly legs.    
  
Cullen who had been watching from a distance saw what transpired and sent the young man sprawling face-first to the ground. Scooping Deedolett in his arms he carried her towards her room. The memories of holding her like this filled his mind of her Harrowing, he raised his right arm to smell her hair, * _ lilies*  _ He started to feel his body grow and started to wake, groaning as she reached for her head.    
  
She rubbed her temple with her hand and realized she was being carried, "Nug humping Templars." looking up through hazed vision saw his curled ginger locks. She tapped his breastplate. "I am well."    
Cullen slowed his walk stopping to set her down, he gently let her slide from his arms. She went to walk and almost fell, she was back in his arms again, feeling really embarrassed as they made it to her room.    
The young Templar, Endren, came to her room with his apologies. Cullen glared at the boy, "You are to clean the barracks for a week." Deedolett put a hand on his arm. "He didn't recognize me; it was a simple mistake." With a grunt Cullen dragged the boy off to the barracks, Deedolett smiled to herself. 

~~*^*~~    
Deedolett was well-rested and already in the pavilion warming up when Cullen came out to meet her. Several magi and Templar stood back watching her practice Cullen excused himself and headed to where she was warming up.    
Cullen watched as she finished 'Waltz of the Fireflies' as she let a large burst of flame left her hand into the sky while throwing her head back landing gracefully with another short flame burst ending the dance.    
Out of breath and glowing with happiness, she grinned seeing her friend amongst the others. "Cullen I almost thought you were not going to show." she patted the sweat from her brow. "I said I would, I am glad to see you are well rested * _ and still beautiful.*  _ Also for taking the time to indulge someone like me." He felt his face get hot he quickly found a seat among the others that were standing around.    
  
Deedolett smiled brightly "I always have time for those closest to me." She asked if the others could leave and she would perform for them all tomorrow night. With moans and sighs, the magi and Templars left to resume their duties, leaving Cullen and Deedolett alone.    
  


She had the pavilion draped in long fabrics to block the view while she had practiced, she went to tug the rope bindings that held the fabric taught that faced the tower’s side, "I am glad to see you are in good health." She came to stand before him as he sat watching the dimming light of orange and pinks dance in her hair. Cullen nodded swallowing hard he watched her pull her hair up into a tight knot. "Shall I dance...?"    
  
"Ascilia and Fulk."    
  
"That is for two people, how am I going to do the lifts alone?" she folded her arms and cocked her head slightly to the side in thought.    
  
"Just dance Ascilia's part. Yes, that will d-do nicely." He reprimanded himself, he always felt nervous around her she brought that accursed stutter out, and maybe just maybe she was not a demon. Deedolett closed her eyes and felt the melody she needed stir inside of her for the dance. When it came time for the lefts she would pause and continue with the next step. Seeing her minor frustration, he stepped behind her during the next lift and hoisted her high into the air, gently turning and swaying with her.   
  
He took notice of the gold chain around her slender neck. * _ That is not the same...*  _ He whispered: "Miss Surana why are you here?"    
  
"My duties and because I had to see you." She smiled as he placed her back on solid ground. Her back to him when he set her down they stopped dancing, she turned to face him. He looked into her eyes and let them gaze upon her lovely neck, reaching out he pulled the chain and found it to be the same he had given her the day they stole a kiss behind one of the bookcases of the privet study.    
  
"I had long kept the leather it was on, I exchanged it with the chain. It has never left my neck but that once." She looked away, remembering the day she acquired it vividly. He led her to a seat near a large tree overlooking the lake. 

~~*^*~~    
  
A while had passed between them neither saying anything as the moon rose to illuminate the night sky, he had decided that she could not be the demon as she wasn't trying to use any form of magic on him. It was pure, and his words to her that day must have been devastating, but he was hurt and for good reason, or so he thought.    
  
"Deedolett, I have something I must confess." He stared off at the darkening sky.    
  
"Yes." Turning she watched him for a few and followed his line of sight on a group of stars. "I just wanted to let you know... I... You heard what I had said that day. I also pushed you away when you did nothing but try to help me." He heard her shift next to him; he needed to say this no matter how uncomfortable it was going to be. "I reprimanded myself for it and believed that... that day was my punishment. And during the weeks that went on they delved deep into my mind, they used you against me. She looked like you, sounded like you... she was you."    
  
He looked over at her; she had her head hanging he reached over placing a finger under her chin. "I still have nightmares from time to time. I am sorry for what I said to you. I know that it was not you, but you are one of them and I hated you, or what I thought was you. Someone I had always wanted but could never have." He watched tears trickle out of her eyes and he wiped them with his callused thumb, his heart ached and if things were different he would have her, but it is what it is and what is done is done.    
  
He released her and stood up, helping her to her feet as well. "Deedolett... I am sorry. You need not forgive me for what I said." He leaned in taking her by the shoulders wrapping his arms quickly around her in an embrace that screamed love. He pulled away taking her by the shoulders, placed a kiss on her forehead and left her standing there before he would regret doing what he just did. 

~~*^*~~    
  
The guest chambers of Castle Denerim... "My Lord..." she gasped "please..." she whispered into his ear, breath fanning his ear and she set to nibbling on his earlobe. His hands were up her skirt sliding off her small clothes, she moaned with delight gasping as he grabbed her behind tightly.    
  
Grabbing her hair pulling her into a hard rough kiss, finding her tongue working his way down to her sweet neck, slipping further to her cleavage taking one of her points into his mouth biting it, she breathed hard with delight.    
Her moans of delight were not doing anything for him, it did nothing but prompt him to stop. "Get out." He stated flatly.    
  
"But my lord?" she started to claw at his naked back and kiss his broad muscled shoulders trying to turn his attentions back to her moistened sex.    
  
"I said get out! I will not say it a third." His muscles flexed when he reached for his tunic and pulled it on. The young woman huffed pouting, gathered herself and left the room before she was told again. It had been the seventeenth daughter, niece or even cousin of a noble he went to bed and would not.    
  
To more or less taste the waters, grabbing a goblet he looked out of the window thoughts wandering. He hissed after swallowing a few mouthfuls of alcohol he set the goblet down then proceeded to the throne room.    
  
"There you are Alistair, you are late." Eamon flustered after him. "Not now Eamon," halting his steps "have you received any word from Deedolett?" He narrowed his eyes at the older gentleman.    
  
"She is at the Circle, she sent word." Handing his Highness the wax-sealed vellum. Eamon noticed a small light in the King's eyes but for the briefest second.    
  
"Thank you, Uncle, I will read this after court." He stopped at the council doors and entered. "All hail the King." 

~~*^*~~    
  
Court did not let out until well after twelve bells, as the last of the representatives and advisers left, Zevran and Wynne stayed with the 'Brood' king. Wynne took a seat nearest Alistair, "Your actions and demeanor have been the recent cause of concern." She patted his hand gently; he let out a slow long breath.    
  
"Yes my friend, do elaborate your baiting and rejection of several deviously, devour-able beauties, I have had the pleasure of tasting." Zevran smiled taking a seat opposite Wynne.    
Alistair rolled his eyes at the assassin's statement; he had lost some of the light boyish charms for a darker essence.    
Shifting positions, he placed a finger on his chin watching Eamon let the last of the persons leave the room. The king waved the guards out of the room, Eamon took his seat next to Zevran. "As far as I know Deedolett is with Teagan and went to the Tower * _ maybe to see that Cullen* _ ." Shrugging his response lightly.   
  
"You honestly do not believe that!" Eamon slapped his hand on the table.    
  
Zevran just smiled, like the cat that swallowed a canary, "Why did you not make it so she was bedded well?"    
  
"What?" Alistair growled through clenched teeth while he glared at the Antivan with hate in his eyes.    
  
" _ You  _ are upset about her being or not being with another, it was  _ you  _ who forced her hand no?" He chuckled "You cannot be serious, playing the jealous lover." Zevran outright laughed at the King's expense.    
  
Alistair rose to his full height ready to attack, Wynne placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, "My dear, listen, we know she was a bit put off, but can you honestly think she would go to another so easily?" Wynne always treated Alistair as the son she never had, she was hoping now that her words were reaching him now.    
  
Eamon chimed in nodding his agreement, "Alistair, my boy, you have the message I gave you this morning, we will leave you to it." Eamon and the others left the room, Zevran chuckling out the door with Wynne nagging him for chastising the King. 

~~*^*~~    
  
An hour had passed since being left with his thoughts. He stared at the vellum shifting in his seat, "I guess it will not open itself." Reaching for it he broke the wax seal, with a deep sigh he sank back into his chair to read,    
  
_ 'Dear Eamon Guerrin,  _ __   
__   
_ Yes, my friend I received your message, I hear your concerns on the King's condition, but sadly I am no healer. I shall send another healer to assist Wynne and a few special health poultices from the Circle if his Highness is under the weather. As far as our relationship, well that ended by his Highness and him alone. I am sorry he had not spoken to you of this it just was not meant to be, remember I am elf magi. The Maker had other plans. _ _   
_ __

_Enclosed is my report on the Circle, please see to it that his Highness is informed. I will head back to Redcliffe by the time this reaches Denerim. Please make sure he has found a bride, I shall send another missive when I reach Amaranthine. W.C Deedolett Surana, Arlessa of Amaranthine.' _  
  
Alistair refolded the vellum placing it on the table, closing his eyes took a deep meditative breath,** "SOD IT ALL!" **echoed through the castle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ascilia and Fulk are Maria and Draco, as in the Opera section from Final Fantasy VI


	10. Summer Breeze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summer of young love...

Teagan and Deedolett corresponded during the three weeks she was at Kinloch. Their first meeting did not provide much for them to make a connection of sorts. 

~~*^*~~    
  
During the Blight, Deedolett and her ragtag group consisting of Alistair nephew to the Arl of Redcliffe, Morrigan the Witch of the Kocari forests, a lovely Orlesian Leliana, and Qunari Sten. They headed to Redcliffe to seek the help of Arl Eamon, a man whom Alistair looked up to and admired until he had been sent to the Chantry, they found that it was not to be as easy to seek help from the Arl when the Arl himself, needed them. 

As they neared the village just below the castle. Being escorted to the Chantry they met with Bann Teagan, The Arl's younger brother, "We came to seek help from the Arl, but it seems that he is the one in need of help from us." Deedolett chuckled lightly despite the severity of the situation.    
  
Teagan started to chuckle as well, "My lady, you are quite right, it would seem to be so." Something stirred inside of Alistair and before he knew it he had placed a strong protective arm around Deedolett, she gasped slightly turning a lovely shade of pink. 

~~*^*~~    
  
"Then I did not realize you two were a couple." He kissed her hand again.    
  
"Yes, we... had grown quite close after." She looked a little uncomfortable with the current topic.    
  
"Would you care to take a ride with me?" Teagan stood to extend an offering hand, she nodded smiling in acceptance. They went to the stables choosing their mounts Deedolett's horse is a beautiful grey mare, with long black mane and tail while Teagan chooses a chestnut stallion with blonde mane and tail. They rode down to Lake Calenhad stopping for lunch. "I know this will sound strange but think that I, in my travels, had never taken the time to enjoy the simple beauty of a lake." Deedolett trotted up behind Teagan who had dismounted and came around to help her down from her mare. Her foot caught in the stirrup causing her to slip, Teagan caught her in his strong arms, in a cradled position.    
She had her eyes tightly closed and caught herself with her arms around his neck anticipating a fall. She slowly opened her eyes to see Teagan smiling at her, her heart quickened she smiled back shyly.    
"And to think, I never enjoyed the beauty... of you." He leaned in slowly to kiss her full, moist lips, which were looking very tantalizing. 

  
The horses whinnied as something startled them, causing their gaze to brake. Deedolett slipped out of his arms thanking the Maker for the distraction. Teagan coughed, "I have a present for you." Going to his horse to retrieve the gift he brought with them.    
  
"Teagan, you will spoil me, I cannot." Deedolett laughed nervously as she petted the horses to settle them down for good.    
Teagan laughed hardily, "That my dear is the point." He had waited on her hand and foot since her return from the Circle; she was helping to lay a blanket for their picnic. She sat pouring a drink, while eating cheese and fruit as he sat across from her with the velvet bag behind him, while partaking in the food, laughing and talking about nothing in particular.    
  
Teagan took a seat behind her once they had their fill of the meal brought, leaning her against him wrapping his arms around her waist kissing her head enjoying the quiet of the afternoon. "I apologize I said I had something for you didn't I?" He reached over for the bag, placing it in her hands.    
Deedolett looked up at him with a slightly raised eyebrow, pushing herself up from his warm embrace. Deedolett untied the soft black velvet bag pulling out a decorated wooden box, with a Unicorn and a Lion on either side of a crown carved on the lid, tracing the figures with her fingers.    
She lifted the lid to a beautiful Sliver ivy vine bracelet, it wraps around the wrist and stops near the crook of the elbow, she gasped and touched the silver leaves. "They almost look real...Teagan, this is too much." She gasped; he reached taking the bracelet from the box placing it on her delicate wrist. "If you insist on keeping this up, I won't want to go to Amaranthine." She smiled warmly kissing him on his cheek.    
  
"That is what I have been working on," He whispered against the back of her hand, then just as quickly taking her in his strong arms. "Alistair was a fool to let someone as wonderful as you go," he breathed close to her lips, "I would have married you on the spot, disregarding whatever consequences." Staring into her eyes with his handsome cobalt blue eyes, her face was getting hot and she could feel it, from her toes to the tips of her ears.    
He then without warning his lips pressed against hers hungrily, her heart felt like it was trying to burst from her chest, her head was spinning. His strong hands roamed her body as he deftly unlaced her dress; he kissed her honey-scented neck, down to the center of her chest while his hands made their way up her skirt.    
  
"Oh, Teagan." She whispered, he reached his hand up between her thighs as he greedily licked the salt of her smooth neck, "Teagan, stop!" she moved his hand and paralyzed him backing away quickly, "I apologize you caught me unawares." She dropped the spell her hands coming to her face in utter shock.    
  
"No my lady," He blinked a few times "I lost my head...." She cut him off placing her fingertips to his lips. "I want to, I do, I just hadn't been with anyone else, and then to be touched like that...sod it." She lunged at him, almost knocking him back. Locking in an even hotter kiss, her mind went to Cullen and their first kiss, Alistair and her first night with him, her and Teagan letting tongues find each other, he was touching her exposed back she was running her long fingers through his auburn hair.    
The bodice of her dress slipped down to her waist, Teagan sat her his lap kissing and massaging her breast with one hand enjoying the feel of her breast fitting his large hand, holding her lower back with the other pressing her closer to his wide chest, she arched her back with the touch making her bite her lower lip in pleasure.    
  
It had been a long,  _ really  _ long time since Alistair touched her like this, her mind flashed to the last time Alistair and she laid together. He placed himself inside of her, feeling her tighten around him she let out a small cry as she gripped his shoulders tensing up her body he held her hips guiding her with a very sensual, fluid motion. Whispering her name into her chest he braced himself from her squeezing him tightly.    
  
"Hold me tighter Teagan." She breathed, everything was becoming a blur, everything she wanted but could never have was in the moment, her head was swimming and her body had gotten hotter she could feel him throbbing inside her ready for release.    
Deedolett could not stand it any longer she was ready for release as well; she could feel Teagan was nearing.    
They released together both coming down from a high of lust and spontaneity, she shuttered as a cool wind blew on her moist back. "We should get ready to head back," She tried to steady her breathing, into his neck.    
"Your right, my darling" He panted, "but first let us just enjoy the moment." Deedolett was fixing her bodice as he helped her tie it back. She settled onto his chest and started to cry softly,  _ *what did I just do?*  _ she buried her face further into his chest. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Olett cared for Teagan, he had been attentive and a friend, he made her laugh, she felt better as the days went on with his company since her return from the Tower. Deedolett did not state her feelings she just let it be with a smile, having the feeling that it is not the same emotion she felt for Alistair but something different.    
After her serendipitous month with Teagan, it was time to head back to Vigil's Keep. They ate dinner and she spent the rest of the evening with him in his chambers. In his large four-poster bed, she snuggled closer to him, "Teagan, will you, I mean can you." She chewed on the inside of her cheek.    
  
"Whatever it is, yes." He answered nuzzling his face into her hair with a yawn, she started to giggle.    
  
"You hadn't even heard what I was about to say. How can you just say yes?" she nudged him.    
  
"Ok then, what is it you wanted to ask me?" he reached down to cover them with the blankets.    
  
"I am leaving for Amaranthine in the morning, will you see me off?"    
  
"Absolutely." And he slipped off into a peaceful slumber.  _ *I must send word of my arrival*  _ she yawned. * _ I will do it in the morning _ * "Thank you and goodnight." She kissed his cheek and snuggled closer to him, Teagan mumbled something that resembles a welcome. But in the back of her mind, she was wondering if he was acting so because he genuinely cared for her or because he was in competition with what she spoke to him about regarding Alistair. 

~~*^*~~    
  
"Are you all packed and ready to go?" Teagan asked as he helped her into the carriage.    
  
"Yes it will be a long trip and I thank you for everything." Deedolett cast her eyes down a blush pinking her caramel skin, for a moment before giving Teagan a warm smile.    
  
"Move out!" The guard shouted to get half the caravan in motion on its way back to Denerim and the other with the Warden-Commander. In a few short days, they will arrive, and she will be free, more or less.  
  
"Naharra, take this to the King, ride safe and swift." Deedolett handed the young elf girl her missive. "I will deliver this to the King personally." And with that, the girl was off. 

~~*^*~~   
  
Naharra rode hard to Denerim, having one of the fastest mounts helped greatly. When she reached Denerim a few days later and she headed right to the King, dropping to one knee she was out of breath.    
  
"My Lord," she breathed heavy.    
  
"Gather yourself first, Naharra." Alistair handed her a cup of water.    
  
"Thank you, my lord, My Lady asked I give you this, for you only." She handed him the vellum.    
  
"No, I thank you. Here are a few sovereigns for your trouble."    
  
She crossed her arm over her chest and headed out of the room. Alistair quickly opened the message,    
  
_ 'Your Highness, I am heading to Amaranthine. Tell Tengu I miss him and I will return soon. _ __   
__   
_ Warden-Commander Deedolett Surana, Arlessa of Amaranthine.'  _ __   
__   
Alistair crumpled the vellum using it to fuel the fireplace. "Uncle Eamon, Deedolett is on her way to Vigil's Keep, please inform Wynne and Zevran and please make sure my things are ready for departure I will be leaving in a few days, thank you." He turned to leave, heading back to the sparring ring.    
  
"Poor boy." Eamon shook his head at the King's retreating back. 


	11. The Ambush of the Keep

Deedolett wandered along the path to Vigil's Keep, she left the caravan and guard escort in the city of Amaranthine until she found suitable placement within the Keep's walls. Mhairi – a recruit who met Deedolett along the road heading back to the Keep herself, accompanied her. She explained along the way how she was a member of the King's Order and after the death of King Cailan during Ostagar and learned of the two surviving Wardens who quelled the Blight almost single-handedly.    
Mhairi in awe vowed to serve the Wardens after the Blight was over and the motion to rebuild was declared by King Alistair she packed and headed to Vigil's Keep. 

The young woman was explaining how inspiring Deedolett and Alistair where to her and how much it would mean to her if she could join the Order. Deedolett welcomed the girls' company but kindly asked if she could refrain from calling her the  _ 'Hero of Ferelden _ .'    
  
"Mhairi I am just Deedolett, Olett to others, it only matters that the Order is rebuilt, I may be the ' _ Hero of Ferelden _ ', but I am really just a simple mage and nothing more." She tried to appreciate her company and hoped she did not offend the girl's feelings.    
Mhairi did her best to keep it as informal as possible, it was going to take a little getting used to while in the company of one so great. "I had been here a month and I have yet to take my Joining." Mhairi admitted as they got to know each other a little better on the route.    
  
The walk along the path to Vigil's Keep was quiet for the most part. Deedolett noticed the sky over in the direction of their travel was growing darker, as if the enormous cloud settled in that one spot. They both noted that there were no Wardens patrolling along the way, by now there should have been some activity along this road and yet not a sign of movement, no sounds coming from the wood surrounding either.    
  
The woods themselves seemed dead – not one animal bird or otherwise could be heard, the temperature seemed to chill as they approached the Keep. Mhairi hurried up ahead to look for any sign of movement near the gates, she came trotting back to Deedolett. "Commander... something is amiss, there is no activity up near the gates, it is... as all are in for the evening."    
  
Worry set on the face of the woman. As not to bring any more worry to her companion, “* _ This is odd _ .* I am sure there are supposed to be at least several persons from Orlais here." Deedolett picked her pace up a little as they drew closer her skin started to tingle, her eyes showing a smoky blue and she saw fighting up ahead.    
_ *It is still faint, I should have sensed them sooner.*  _ The mage thought to herself, a little scared or what she was going to find once she neared.    
  
Drawing her staff, she bowed her head in silent prayer, looking at the gates ahead she called to Mhairi, "No heroics, and watch my back."    
  
"Yes, Commander." The young girl drew her blade and prepared for the worst. Soon several Darkspawn in small contingents swarmed a few of the guards outside of the Keep, saving them the duo pressed forward wiping every one of them out. They stopped for a rest near one of the guards Emil whom they had saved, was looking for bandages for the wounded up along the wall of the makeshift infirmary.    
Taking a swig of water from the skins they carried, Deedolett and Mhairi rested before searching the other side of the courtyard. As the two walked prepared for another attack, they heard soft mewling coming from the side of one of the cottages, upon closer inspection they found a small orange tabby.    
"He is adorable, Deedolett." The young girl petted the kitten behind his soft ears. Deedolett started to chuckle as the kitten nuzzled her neck tickling her chin with his tail. Mhairi spotted some crates some ways up and trotted over to them, signaling her Commander over she showed her the prize they sought. The three of them – Kitten riding on Deedolett's shoulder, had armfuls of bandages bringing them once again to the other west side of the Keep.    
  
The guard took some from Mhairi and led them to the injured, the two helped with tending to the wounded. "I think we need to continue into the Keep itself, I am sensing the Darkspawn from within." Sure enough, when the young female recruit and the guard looked up at the Commander, her eyes were glowing the smoky blue once again.    
  
Heading to the main courtyard gate the gate had been locked from the inside. "Huh, well this is strange..." Mhairi tried to pull the heavy latch to open it. A rumble from beneath their feet grew louder and more violent at the rapid approaching speed, "Mhairi... move!" Deedolett shouted and as soon as the young woman was clear out of the way, the door burst from their hinges splintering with a force that sent the Warden-Commander on her back.    
Covering her eyes from the splinters the sound of hard breathing and the stench of death was standing right on top of her. Scrambling out of the way from the hulking ogre, narrowly escaped as it reached for her ripping the bottom of her robe.    
  
"Hey, I happened to like this one!" she shouted at the drooling beast, freezing it in place Mhairi ran to shatter it with her shield. "Good work, glad you are here." Deedolett complimented. A curt nod from the recruit was what she received as she followed her gaze to the busted doors, people lay dead around the yard, and some ripped apart.    
"No." Deedolett breathed as they walked through the yard, both of them encountered a few more Darkspawn making their way into the Keep's guard entrance.    
  
Walking cautiously the women check the gate leading to the main hall, "Locked." Mhairi hit the gate. Deedolett touched her shoulder to signal her to follower her, they found a door slightly ajar and the sound of fighting could be heard from behind.    
Motioning the girl with a shushing signal the carefully peeked around to see a heap of darkspawn and Templars lying tangled in a heap of burnt and charred positions. Alone stood a tall blonde man, killing what seemed to be the last hideous creature before shaking his hands to put the fire out. Feeling someone watching him, he prepared for an attack.    
  
Seeing, as it was two women approach he dropped his guard and greeted them with a suspect side smile. As Deedolett raised her eyebrows in suspicion she pointed to the bodies he was standing around, "What? I didn't do it." He replied as he leaned against his staff. "But you should have heard Biff, he made the funniest sound as he went down." He smiled a little more relaxed.    
  
"I see, wait, blonde hair...earring... * _ And-* _ ?" Deedolett put a hand on her hip recalling the name on the tip of her tongue.    
  
"Name’s Anders..." He greeted with a nod, "Apostate." Mhairi spat out.    
  
"Mhairi." The Commander scolded her, turning her attention to the man standing before them, "Did you say, Anders, as in  _ the  _ Anders from Kinloch?" It clicked Deedolett heard of him, saw him a handful of times but thought they have locked the crazed Magi away for life who escaped more times than possible – or tranquil that is. 

  
"Yes, I just been caught and on my way back when we stopped here for a bit of a rest, Olett?" He shrugged and stepped to the two of them.    
  
"Deedolett Surana, Warden-Commander of Ferelden." She announced.    
  
"Ahh, Irving's ' _ daughter _ '!" Anders bowed to her as if she was royalty, Deedolett sent a minor lightning bolt through him.   
  
" _ Ow..yikes...  _ Well, you mustn't be so touchy about it." Shaking the remaining electricity out of his ponytail.    
  
"Anders I'm glad you are here we are going to need your help." Deedolett stated with all joking aside. She could scene more – faintly, but there were much further in the Keep.    
  
"I'll watch your beautiful backsides." He grinned taking his position to the rear of the group, ' _ look at those legs, who knew.'  _ He whistled as they ventured on. Mhairi grunted in disgust when she watched him leer at the both of them- Deedolett more so. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett, followed by the others made their way to find the lever to opening the locked gate, they crossed the hall once again and headed to the guard wall on the opposite side. They managed to release the lever to open the gate when a swarm of Darkspawn rushed through.    
  
"Come on time to die!" A voice called from the other side of the hall, the trio ran to see who it was and were suddenly attacked by a couple of darkspawn, it was significantly less than she had to deal with in the past but still, she needed to find out what exactly happened to Vigil's Keep. Making sure the last of the walking dead were permanently expired, Deedolett raced to the ledge and as a maniacal laugh was echoing around them.    
"Take that beastie!" from the looks of it, it was a dwarf and he threw something down to the group of darkspawn at the bottom of the hall.    
  
Suddenly a loud explosion caused the three to duck and cover, pieces of body parts and blood rained down on top of them, with a disgusted sigh they continued on, the Dwarf was gone and then still needed to press forward. "Come on, the way seems to be clear." Deedolett hurried down closely followed by her two companions. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Fighting could be heard and a war cry that seemed all too familiar. ' _ It couldn't be.'  _ Deedolett burst through the door and a flaming red-headed blur rushed past swinging a huge ax. Mhairi charged to the balcony to kill the archers that were taking aim to the red blur.    
Once all lay dead, Anders checked them all Deedolett had a gash to her left thigh and her minor healing skills only helped with the blood clotting.    
"My thanks." she wryly smiled when he brushed her hands out of the way.   
  
"Well, I knew if I stayed around long enough you would eventually turn up, good on you Warden." Oghren smiled slapping her on the back, nearly tipping her from her seated position she smiled back, "It's good to see you too, what in the Maker's name are you doing here?" she answered getting the all-clear. 

"I figured I would try my hand at becoming a bona-fied Warden." He announced happily.    
  
"Eh? You sure about that?" She wanted to state more but with the present company, the 'Warden' talk was limited. "Bah, I eat danger for breakfast, lunch, and dinner." He nodded as a matter-of-factly. With a concerned look to her Blight friend she stood and now adding one more to the fray, they went looking through the Keep once more.    
  
Saving several survivors and killing patches of darkspawn on their way to the roof, Mhairi rushed over to a man slumped against the stone wall holding his side and covered in various wounds.    
"Anders... heal him please." Deedolett pleaded quietly. As Anders went to heal him the older Warden struggled to move Anders out of the way, Deedolett came to kneel beside him as Mhairi was holding his hand and shoulder to slide him to the floor.    
  
"Commander is that you, My Lady, it is an honor to finally meet you." He started to cough. Deedolett looked at the man and nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder to cease his talking,    
  
"This is Roland Commander, he said that the darkspawn ambushed them, there wasn't anything they could do." The girl had tears in her eyes and she looked at the older gentleman.    
  
"There is... a talking darkspawn, he let me live just long enough to speak with you." He coughed again, deep red nearly black blood came out in spurts from his mouth. Deedolett knew the look, the taint was claiming him, there was no way to heal him he wouldn't survive for much longer. "The Seneschal has... been captured... they are on the roof." Roland's breathing became shallow he wasn't long for this world.    
  
"Talking darkspawn?" Oghren asked, but his question went unanswered. Deedolett turned from her friend shrugging, and then turning her attention back to the man dying in her hands she smiled as best she could, least to bring a minor comfort to the man, she held his other hand tightly sending her poor skills of healing to ease some of the pain he was in.    
  
"We will defeat this evil, I promise Ser Roland." Deedolett watched as he smiled softly when the last of his breath left his body. Mhairi called to him and gotten no response, "I swear I will avenge you Roland, you and all the others." The warrior vowed as she stood bowing to the cooling corpse. Deedolett laid him down and the four of them left in search of this,  _ 'Talking Darkspawn.’ _ Abomination was what lay on the elf mage's lips. 


	12. Burning Bridges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning of sexual assault.

The group pushed their way through more handfuls of scattering darkspawn as they made their way to the roof, they had to see if the Seneschal was still alive. Mhairi seemed to let her emotions get the better of her after the death of Ser Roland – from the hands of the creatures she was cutting down.   


"Mhairi! What in the name of the Maker is the matter with you, you are trying to get yourself killed?" Deedolett had wrenched the girl's arm to snap her out of her bloodlust stupor, the young woman's face was cold, she wanted the heads of each darkspawn, Deedolett could not blame her.    
  
"I..I am sorry Commander, I..." She hung her head and sat on the cold stone ground.    
  
Olett sympathized, losing someone she knows, "I understand, but recklessly charging in like that will assuredly send you to the Maker before your given time." Deedolett soothing words melted the chestnut brown eyes of the woman before her, her face softened and soon nodded her agreement. "Alright, we have a few moments... no let me clarify, we have no time to linger, Anders can you rejuvenate, or do you need a good rest?" Deedolett looked over to the mage and she popped the cork on a greater mana vile and drank of the bitter blue liquid.    
Scrunching her face in disgust, “Honey, I need to add honey to Lyrium, someone remind me of that.” With chuckles from the small group of four, they watched as she dug through her bags. 

Tossing some stamina potions to the two warriors and handing a greater mana potion to Anders, they sat for a moment allowing the potions to do their job. Deedolett kept stealing glances over her shoulder, the Darkspawn were indeed behind that door. Her eyes showed it, the blue smoke was unsettling to Mhairi, and Anders just chalked it up as a mage thing.    
  
"They close Warden?" Oghren stood lifting his ax signaling he was fit to fight once more. With a nod, Deedolett rose to her feet and help Mhairi up as well. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Opening the door there was no one within eyeshot, the group crept to the wall, peering around the corner of the high tower wall. The tallest darkspawn was backing a man, a Warden to the edge of the castle.    
  
"It has been as  _ He  _ foretold." He kicked the helpless man in the chest over the edge sending him to his painful death below.    
Looking away from a moment Anders gasped in horrified shock. "It  _ can  _ talk?" He looked at his fellow mage and they peered back around the corner. An older man was kneeling with a sword to his throat and hands tied behind his back.    
  
The foul creature spoke again, "Be taking this one gently. We are wishing no more death than is necessary." The Seneschal was, in fact, alive and being held hostage, he spat at the towering demon, "Necessary? As if your kind has done anything less."    
  
Deedolett held a small chuckle that was about to escape her throat. "You think you know of our kind human? It is understandable, but that will soon be changed." It continued to hold a conversation. Glaring at the speaker and wincing in pain as one of the darkspawn held his head high roughly gripping his hair, with that nasty looking sword still positioned at his throat.    
  
"Others will come, creature!  _ They  _ will stop you." That was the groups’ queue to come out into the open, a flash of relief crossed the older man's face as he saw them from the corner of his eye. Mhairi ran ahead sword drawn, she stayed her hand as they approached, "There it is." The words came out of her mouth as if she tasted rotten meat. 

The creature turned to them walking up to Deedolett, "It seems your words be true, more than you are guessing."    
Anders's mouth dropped as he looked at the monstrosity before him, "Well, it is talking."    
  
"Well, let's shut it the hell up already." Oghren chimed in gripping his ax tightly.    
  
"Commander?" The older man breath heavy as the blade was piercing his skin, Deedolett saw red and her fingers twitched as the flames licked them.    
  
Once again the creature spoke, "Capture the Grey Warden. These others... may be killed." Confusion flash across Deedolett's delicate features, the monster backed away drawing its blade, the other creature dropped the Seneschal and charged into the fight.    
The battle was over quickly, rushing to the man's side she undid the ties that bound his hands and helped him to his feet.    
"Are you well Ser? I have my friend here he can heal you, Anders." She held his arm as Anders waved a hand over the wound.    
  
"Thank you, my lady... we had been ambushed and while several had gotten away I am afraid many may not have survived." He walked over to the edge looking down at the man who died trying to protect him.    
  
"What is this? We have more visitors." The Seneschal pointed up the road past the gates, as he rubbed his sore wrist.    
  
"Let us hurry and greet our guest, shall we?" Deedolett led the way back to the front gates, the persons who approached was none other than the King himself. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett narrowed her eyes taking a deep breath,  _ 'Why are you here? Do you not have any other place you could possibly visit?'  _ __   
The Seneschal knelt and Mhairi stood in awe. Deedolett nodded curtly to the man before her. "Seems I missed all the fun, Deedolett..." He purred when he saw her- looking at her new attire he raised a curious dirty blonde eyebrow.    
  
"Ogre." She stated calmly. "I miss the whole darkspawn killing....with  _ you _ ." He looked at her once more licking his lips as his body responded to her very presence, "I came to greet our fellow Wardens, to give them a formal welcome. I certainly was not expecting this, the situation?" He never took his eyes off Deedolett.    
The Seneschal spoke, "What darkspawn here died, the rest fled. The Wardens who arrived from Orlais appear to either be missing or... dead your Majesty." The older Warden nodded solemnly. Her loose bun had come undone her robe was torn, ragged at the bottom stopping just at her hips, showing her lovely toned legs.    
Alistair shook his thoughts when he heard that the darkspawn might have taken captives. "Missing? Do the darkspawn even  __ do  that?" He looked between Deedolett and the Older man.    
  
Deedolett shrugged and was pulled aside by a blonde man standing behind her. 

Alistair watched, his features grew dark as the man touched her shoulder and rubbed her arm and held her hand to his chest. "Deedolett, I need to speak with you." He touched her shoulder.    
  
"Yes, what do you need?" She asked at the others continued to relay the events prior to her saving whom she could, Andes rubbed down her arm very lightly and took her hand in his holding her close to him. "The Templar here is Rylock, she hates me with a passion. The reason why we stopped here is that she was to meet us so they could drag me to Aeonar."    
  
Deedolett's eyes went wide, "Are you sure?" Ander's nodded, "I know you are have heard nothing but horrible things about me, but there is one thing for certain... I  _ love  _ my life. Can you please help me?" He pleaded.    
Deedolett turned her head to see Alistair staring as if he was about to hit something, she gave him a look and his features softened. Turning her attention back to the others Alistair glared at Anders as he the nerve to touch  _ His  _ woman. "Deedolett, you are going to have one hell of a time. I am not going to be able to help you this time around." He took her by the elbow leading her away, then placing a hand on the small of her back.    
  
"Hey what am I chopped nug livers?" Oghren punched Alistair in the back. Mhairi gasped in shock and a few of the guards went to cease the dwarf but Alistair raised his hand, Anders tried his hardest to contain the giggles when Oghren socked the King.    
  
"Well from the smell...that's not a bad guess." Unable to hold it in he burst out laughing, Mhairi even chuckled a little, followed by Deedolett. Oghren made a rude gesture to the mage and followed behind the couple.    
  
"Pike twirler, I came to join the Wardens, and from the looks of it, you need all the help you can get." Alistair cringed at the nickname, he let go of Deedolett and turned to face Oghren, Deedolett pressed her lips together slightly, Oghren continued, "Where's the giant cup, I'll gargle and spit!" He spit on the ground for effect.    
  
Deedolett stepped back, "Watch it, there will be no gargling or spitting. But yes, you can join." The elf said with all seriousness aside. "Well smack my ass and call me Sally!" He puffed out his chest and hit his armor.    
Mhairi looked to Deedolett, and Deedolett nodded her head in return, "Well... in dire need, stranger things have happened. Welcome." She nodded slightly to the red-headed dwarf. "Oh, and I will also take this man right here, Anders." She said nodding her head in the mage's direction.    
  
The Templar to his right cleared her throat, "Your Majesty, I need to warn you that this man is dangerous, he is a murderer! I need to bring him into the Circle to face justice."    
  
"Bah! What you consider justice one could fit in a thimble!" Anders shouted back, Rylock went to draw her sword and Deedolett stepped between the two.   


"Stop it! Alistair, I am invoking the right of conscription!" Her hand glowing in the direction of the female Templar, ready to freeze her if need be.    
  
"King Alistair, you cannot possibly allow this?" The woman pointed her sword to the two mages.    
  
"Are you questioning me? Last I checked,  _ I  _ was King and the Grey Wardens still had the ability to Conscript. I shall allow it." He turned his attention from Rylock – who stormed off, to Deedolett, she lowered her hand Alistair grabbed her hand leading them once more towards the Castle. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Once inside Deedolett looked at the damage that had been done as they all walked in, Alistair walked beside, her also surveying the damage. "I will fund you the monies worry not about that, I need to speak with you, in privet." He asked as they walked to the throne room.    
  
"Seneschal, could we use your office?" Deedolett asked as she continued to make mental checks.   
  
"Just Varel, my lady, right this way if you please." He led them to the opposite side of the Keep and opened the door, for both of them. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett took a seat near the desk close to a window, agitated at his needing to be here, "What is it you want to talk about, I do have a lot to do, Your Highness." She bowed her head slightly.    
"I came after your report sent, and I came straight here, I was hoping to show you how much I missed you." He was stalking her the moment the door closed, reaching for her she stepped back his smoldering look burning her to her core. "My heart nearly flew from my chest when I saw the corpses, I am glad you are alive and well. Come back to Denerim, please?" He snatched her to him with his gauntleted hand cupping her cheek.    
"No, I need to be here, these people need my help. I shall not abandon them because you decided you want me so suddenly." Deedolett went to pull away from him but he held a firm grip on her waist. "I  _ need  _ you, I been mad with fear and regret since you sent me the letter, what is with you and Teagan?" He gripped her tighter.   
  
" _ Ow _ , you're hurting me." She tried to back up but to no avail, he had his hands to tightly wound into her, he had backed her against the wall, pressing his armored body against hers. "Alistair let me go...." Before she could finish his lips pressed into hers with a greedy need, this was no longer the sweet man whom she fell in love with those years ago, this was the man who left her torn, and into the arms of another.    
He shifted to remove the gauntlet of his right hand, he shook the thing off and reached for her smalls, all the while nipping and sucking her lips, breathing harshly against her neck, she struggled in protest. "No do not do this, this isn't you, Your Highness!" She gasped as his large hand found her wanting center.   


"You may say no," he breathed into her neck biting her lightly, "but your body says otherwise." He began to slip his thick fingers into her wet center. "You are mine, and no one else's." He slipped his fingers into her with fever, her body betraying her. She squirmed involuntarily meeting his rhythm until she released, if it wasn't for his armor he would have taken her right then. Kissing her to quiet her moaning, he pulled away, "As for your mage friend, do not let me see him touching you, or any man touching you again." He released her from the wall. She breathed in deep taking as much air into her lungs as possible.    
  
Once he was finished with her and she had composed herself, she felt sick, how could she still care for him, she should not have enjoyed what he did but... He needed to let go, she is not a toy. "You dispelled my magic, Alistair do not come back here, I will not return to Denerim, I'm staying here." Her voice was raspy and low. Alistair looked over at her, replacing his gauntlet, "Is it because of Teagan?" with no reply from her he stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.    
  
Deedolett shivered, hugging herself tightly, she turned to the window, "I have a lot now to keep me busy. I will send Teagan a message soon." Tears blurred her vision as they silently fell onto her robe, Anders came through the door, he saw the last of her magic returning via her hair color “Olett, you well love?”   
  
Deedolett nodded her weary head “Yes, nothing to worry about. Let’s get to work, shall we?” With a bright smile she exited the study, Anders frowned, he knew dispelled magic and the King definitely did something to her. 


	13. The Father who Promised, The Mother who Lies.

It had been months – six exactly since she started saving the livelihood of the farmers of Amaranthine. Dealing with two assassination attempts, one on Anders then herself by the rat-faced Bann Esmeralda, making new friends, Nathaniel Howe – whose father, pig of a man, Rendon Howe, Sigrun, Legion of the Dead once almost Brood mother candidate.    
  
Velanna the Dalish who - with much protest from her fellow companions, has come to be part of her new family. Losing Mhairi was hard, she had met the Maker two months ago setting her to the pyre and mourned the loss of the eager young woman who wanted to follow her footsteps.    
  
After word of happenings from Warden Kristoff, he had Headed into the Blackmarsh to investigate as per order from his former Commander.    
  
"Nathaniel, are you almost ready to leave?" Deedolett called from the top of the stairs, as she leaned over the balcony. Nathaniel looked up and smiled slightly, "Yes, my lady whenever you are." With a nod Deedolett knocked on Anders's door, "Anders, can you move your ass now!" she rapped on the door, he hadn't gotten out of bed and the day was growing late.    
  
"I am up, I'm packing... watch your mouth." He called from inside the room. Sticking her tongue at the door she turned towards the stairs, "I saw that!" Shaking her head with a sigh she saw Nathaniel shaking his head at her, "What?" Deedolett stood in front of him with a shrug.    
  
"That is improper for an Arlessa." "I am not an Arlessa, I am ten feet tall and I shoot lightning out of my eyes, remember. I also blame Oghren for my foul mouth." Deedolett smiled and poked the man in the chest. With a chuckle, they went to wait for Anders.   


~~*^*~~    
  
Two weeks and three days later. "We have to deal with the Mother soon, I am still not convinced that this Father... Architect... what have you, will do as I asked, to lead the remaining darkspawn into the Deep Roads."    
  
Deedolett sat in Varel's office, with her hands neatly folded in her lap. The young woman looked worn, she needed a long rest, She had stayed busy, barely sleeping the dark circles under her eyes growing darker daily. Varel looked a the young girl, "Deedolett, please go get some rest you have done so much and you are likely to take ill if you do not properly tend to yourself." The older man offered.    
  
"I will when I meet the Maker." She sighed getting up from her seat she went for a bite to eat and prepared for the coming day, tying up loose ends for her group and making sure the Keep's fortifications were complete.    
  


~~*^*~~    
  
Late into the evening – one week later, the Keep was settling in for the night, Deedolett had long since gone to bed, Alistair had sent her a missive, she announced she had a headache, everyone wished her a good night and business continued without her.    
Sometime around eleven in the evening a guard from Amaranthine came running into the Keep, alarming everyone within the mighty structure. Mellina one of the Arling's staff hurried to Deedolett's room.    
  
Getting up quickly throwing on a robe, she yawned as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, heading out of the door she didn't bother to go down the stairs, she politely leaned on the railing and looked at the man below.    
Mellina pointed to where the mistress was and he saw she was not quite awake. Deedolett closed her robe leaning over the railing, "Yes... err... Jeffery." She yawned again saying excuse me.    
  
"My lady... there is trouble in the city, there are darkspawn everywhere!" The guard came running through shouting.    
  
"What?" she gasped, she tapped her head with her fist, "... Nathaniel...Everyone!" she shouted as she replayed the message she received. Quickly running to Ander's door, the mage was not in his room. Deedolett cursed her friend and went to get Oghren, whose room was on the other end of the long hall. Nathaniel came up to the guard and who was watching the Commander disappear from view.    
  
The younger man repeated what he told Deedolett. Nathaniel ran to the landing of the stairs to catch the Commander "Deedolett, I will take some of the Silver Order with me, do your best and get everyone prepared here. Just in case."    
  
Deedolett leaned over the railing, "Be safe, friend." As she nodded curtly before going to her room to change then to the barn for her horse. Deedolett charged downstairs in cloth leggings and the robe she first came with, she never replaced it from the ogre that torn it, only cleaned the hem of it, she had to admit that she moved much more freely with her ankles not covered. The elf told the Sigrun and Oghren and Velanna as she passed them exactly what was going on, she told them to prepare for a possible attack on the Keep.   


"By the way have either of you seen Anders?" The three shook their heads and she went right to Varel's office knowing the man might be in there.    
  
"Varel, there you are. I need to head to the city the darkspawn have attacked, Nathaniel went ahead with some of the others, and Silver Order." Deedolett had fear in her eyes, the older man ran to give her a tight hug.    
  
"Be safe, We will guard this place well. I hope the Architect keeps his word. For all our sakes." Deedolett nodded against his chest. "I will come back soon I promise you. We shall not fail." Deedolett bowed to Varel and headed to the barn for her horse.    
  
Heading to the barn the whole castle was in a tizzy, everyone was rushing around, the Silver Order and staff gathered the young ones, to a safe place that was set up for just such an event, as well as some of the women who were unable to fight. She still searched for Anders as she headed to the barn.    
The sound of giggling and rustling of the hay could be heard as she entered and saddled her horse, "Hello?" she called tip-toeing to the massive pile of hay. Anders popped his head up and looked startled, Deedolett inched closer and her face turned a brilliant red quickly turning her back she cleared her throat. "Oh, my....A-Anders, the city is being attacked, please hurry and dress, we need to leave now. Nathaniel has gone on ahead." She went and mounted her horse and charged out of the barn and headed to the city. 

~~*^*~~   
  
Coming up the path to the enormous city, she spotted Justice and Nathaniel in the midst of a fight. Dismounting she ran over spells freezing any darkspawn in her path.   
  
"What is the status?" She called over the fighting.   
  
"They have come from inside the city. The guards said that they have likely come from the cellar we searched before."   
  
"Right." Deedolett nodded and went to head into the city. Nathaniel grabbed her by the waist, lifting her as she went running past him.   
  
"Whoa, hold on, where are you heading?" he put her down in front of him blocking her path.   
  
"Obvious, I am going to save who I can, and head back to the Keep!" fear claimed her face as the fires seemed to spread more. Nathaniel sighed looking over her head - Anders came dismounting his horse, "I fear that going alone is ill advised." Justice started.   
  
No matter how law-abiding the Fade spirit was, she figured he would at least come with her. The captain came running from the city gates, "My Lady, the city is lost, and we have to burn it."   
  
"No, we will save the city, I promised these people I would help them!" Tears formed in the elf's eyes she brushed past the men and headed into the city.   
  
"Deedolett... Wait." Nathaniel and Anders called in unison, she stopped clutching her staff in her hands, looking past all the men a lone darkspawn came up the path, the captain noticed her eyes glow as she looked past them all, following her line of sight, he orders the remaining guards to take aim of the creature. 

  
"Hold, I know this creature." Deedolett walked towards him. Nathaniel and Anders stood in front of her, "The Mother has sent her army to your Keep."    
  
"No..." Deedolett she paled, she turned looking to the city as it was slowly burning. She collected her thoughts and issued her orders.    
  
"We save the city and you will help. Captain take whatever men you can and head to the Keep, kill as many of these creatures as you can. We will meet you there soon, no one else shall fall this day." Then stepping over the makeshift barricade, the creature spoke once more, "The Father has sent in others to assist with The Mother's defeat.    
  
Your Keep should be safe." He announced once he caught up with the others. Deedolett looked over her shoulder, "Good." As they proceeded into the city without further interruptions. 

~~*^*~~    
  
The sky was starting to lose its black and blue blanket, as the sun crept its way to greet the new day, the four Wardens saved the city and were well on their way back to the Keep when something hideous stood near the small cottages outside the cities gates.    
  
"What in Andraste's flaming knickers is that!" the mages announced as they left the walls of the cleared city to come face to face with a huge armored ogre, snarling and drooling, as it began picking up a large chunk of land readying it to hurl at them.    
  
"Scatter, we need to be rid of this thing NOW!" Deedolett shrieked as she narrowly escaped the crashing boulder, a black blur sent her crashing to the ground she opened her eyes to see Nathaniel on top of her covering her head. She could just make out a huge clawed hand over his shoulder. Reaching her hand around him, she froze the beast in place before it could do any further damage.    
  
"Thank you." They said together, getting up they looked at the frozen creature carefully walking around it Anders stood up shaking his head.    
"And here I thought the Joining was bad." Anders gathered himself and hurled four boulders towards the hulking beast, shattering it in chunks of frozen flesh and blood. 

~~*^*~~    
  
Riding up the path, as quickly as they could muster, to Vigil's Keep the trio saw the darkspawn the other creature mentioned skulking back into the woods. Several of the Silver Order came to make sure no more darkspawn of a treat was about, three went in search for their Arlessa.    
  
"My Lady, we did it." Arden cheered with a wide grin. "None broke through, we all survived." Gureth cheered behind his comrade. Deedolett burst out into tears, she slumped forward on her horse and rested her head on her arms.    
  
"My lady, are you well?" Varrus reached for the reigns of her horse. 

  
"She is well." Nathaniel steered his horse close to hers, he reached out and rubbed her back. Anders steered his horse to her right side and stroked her hair.    
  
"Thank the Maker, let's go home." Deedolett sniffled as she wiped her eyes and nose on the sleeve of her robe. Far off in the distance, the Architect watched the group before he himself turned to leave... For good.    
After a long hot bath, food, and sleep Arlessa Warden-Commander Deedolett Surana had a missive to Denerim. 

~~*^*~~   
  
' _ King Alistair Theirin, All is well and I shall be returning for a while, please give a hug to Tengu and Zevran. I shall arrive within two week’s time. Servant of the Crown, Arlessa- Warden-Commander- Deedolett Surana.'  _


	14. Remembrance.

The day came and the whole of Denerim awaited Deedolett's arrival. Alistair looked well, he had not gotten much sleep during the time since he had last seen the elven woman, even less with his 'noble' activities. He wore a constant scowl one would think the woman had died.   
  
The carriages drew closer her caravan headed to the back of the castle while her carriage stopped at the front gate, The footmen opened the doors Teagan stepped out first then helping Deedolett out shortly after, and Nathaniel, Varel, and Anders stepped out of the other. Alistair's eyes narrowed he huffed quickly regaining his composure.    
  
Deedolett took Teagan's arm as they walked to the castle steps, she was positively glowing, they both bowed before the court. "Ah, Alressa Deedolett, The Hero of Ferelden and Savior of Amaranthine, has returned to us finally, welcome back my, Dear Lady." Alistair extended his hand to her, she took it smiling having him grace her knuckles with a kiss.    
  
She introduced the others to the court before speaking to the King once more. "Your Highness it is a pleasure to be back, I have missed this place."    
Deedolett went to Eamon giving the older man a kiss on the cheek. She hurried over to Wynne giving her mentor a tight hug and then to Zevran with a kiss to the forehead and cheek. "I have missed you, my friends. Anders, you remember Wynne yes?" She smiled, pulling the three men to greet her former Blight companions. Teagan stepped up to clasp hands with Alistair.    
  
"Welcome Teagan, I am hoping you will enjoy your stay, here in Denerim." The King sheathed with all the friendliness of a cobra. 

  
"Yes, your Highness I will hope you not mind a few more in court." Teagan chuckled lightly. He then turned to Eamon, clasping the older man's hand, "Brother you look well, and everything is good in Redcliffe then?"    
  
Teagan nodded "Yes it is, the village is rebuilding nicely, and I had a little help." Smiling in Deedolett's direction, The King looked at him through narrowed eyes.    
  
"Everyone let’s head to the feast that was prepared, I'm starving, and you are all quite famished as well?" Laughing he took Deedolett by the arm and led everyone to the dining hall.    
  


~~*^*~~   
  
  
Dinner was delicious the company was delightful, except Alistair who kept hawking the ' _ happy _ ' new couple and it was making him sick to his stomach. When the green-eyed monster would rear its ugly head, Deedolett somehow looked in his direction smiling brightly. When she laughed with the others, it just reminded him of 'their' time during the Blight. Deedolett noticed Alistair looking at her she waved before turning her attention back to Teagan.    
  
Alistair then excused himself, "I will see you all in the morning, goodnight." It was too much, feeling pangs of guilt was making his chest hurt. " _ Zevran was right, who am I to be jealous? _ " He walked to his room poured himself a goblet of old Antivan Brandy, taking a couple of burning swallows he then laid down and was soon asleep.   


~~*^*~~   
  
  
He found himself back in Ostagar during the Blight. _*Oh wait, that's the mage that I was sent to find.* _He started laughing. _*Oh man I really didn't mean it, it wasn't my fault.* __  
_Then from his right, she walked up watching himself and the mage squabble, the mage leaves in a huff, leaving just she and him.  
  
_"You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together." He sighed with a smile.__  
_ _  
__"I know exactly what you mean." She smiled back shyly.__  
__  
__ "Wait, we haven't met, have we? I don't suppose you happen to be another mage?" __  
__  
_"_I am indeed a mage, are the robes not a dead giveaway?" she grinned.__  
__  
__ "I should have recognized you right away. I apologize." He shook his head. __  
__  
__"That's all right. No offense taken." She waved a hand dismissing his apology. __  
__  
__"As the junior member of the order, I'll be accompanying you when you prepare for the Joining." He extended his hand in greeting. __  
__  
__"Pleased to meet you Deedolett Surana." __  
__  
___"You know... it just occurred to me that there have never been many women in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?" He mused to himself Deedolett laughed finding him slightly amusing. *Why did I say that beautiful woman standing in front of you hello.* Alistair smacked himself in the forehead.  


~~*^*~~   
  
  
He felt himself being pulled, watching the scenes change around him. _*Where am I now?* _he looked around for a bit, his eyes widened _*I remember this.* __  
__  
__"Look, can we talk for a moment? I need to tell you something I, ah, should probably have told you earlier." He started to sweat, finding himself fidget somewhat. __  
__  
__"What's on your mind?" __  
__  
__"Well, how do I tell you this? We're almost at Redcliffe. Did I say how I know Arl Eamon, exactly?" __  
__  
__"You said he raised you right?" __  
__  
__They stopped by the bank near a little cabin. "Right, well the reason he did was because..." He hung his head, feeling ashamed of himself; Deedolett placed a hand on his shoulder looking up into his eyes. __  
__  
__"Tell me." She whispered, he cleared his throat. __  
__  
__"Well because my father was King Maric. Which makes... made Cailan, my half-brother." _*I should have told her sooner, I know now, that she is very understanding.* He continued to listen.   
  
"_So... you're not just a bastard, but a royal bastard?_" _she grinned laughing lightly "But I think I understand._" _She patted his shoulder. __  
__  
__"I am glad that I got that off my chest." He breathed a sigh of relief. __  
__  
___"Soooo... You're a prince. Somehow I find that very... thrilling." She purred at him, he blushed feverishly. *She never did treat me differently.* He smiled and continued to watch Deedolett, suddenly he felt pulled elsewhere.  


~~*^*~~   
  
  
" _ Alistair, may I ask you a question?" she walked up to him on a dare, Leliana was giggling in the background where he couldn't hear. "If you were raised in the Chantry. Have you never?" she bit her lower lip.  _ __   
__   
_ "Never... Never What? Had a good pair of shoes?" giving her that handsome grin of his. _ __   
__   
" _ You know what I mean." She started to blush a deep red.  _ __   
__   
_ "I'm not sure I do. Have I never seen a basilisk? Ate jellied ham? Have I never licked a lamppost in winter?" he raised an eyebrow laughing lightly.  _ __   
__   
" _ No, SEX!" Her eyes went wide, she turned bright crimson Leliana burst out laughing, unable to contain it any longer. _ _   
_ __

_ Deedolett formed a snowball and hurled it at Leliana then started to chase the bard around camp. Alistair stood mouth hanging open, turning various shades of red. *Wow that was something, I am glad we cleaned it up. She is a saucy minx, how did Leli put it after we...? Oh plays well with others.*  _ He laughed remembering.  __ *Oh I know that feeling. Where we off to now?*   
  


~~*^*~~   
  
  
He found himself coming from the lake,  _ *Oh, I remember this was after the night she bathed in the lake.*  _ he started to turn pink, looking to his right he watched himself nearest the fire pit of camp.    
  
" _ Here, look at this, do you know what it is?" he held open his hand Deedolett dusted her hands off after poking the sticks in the fire pit.  _ __   
__   
_ "Your new weapon of choice?" she gave him his half-grin.  _ __   
__   
_ "Yes, that's right watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of 'floral arrangements' feel my thorn darkspawn, I will overpower you with my rosy scent." He made sword motions with his finger. _ __   
__   
_ Deedolett laughed with tears in her eyes. "Sentiment can be a pretty potent weapon." She tried to contain her giggles.  _ __   
__   
_ *Maker, I was a fool, but that didn't stop her, she laughed at every joke.*  _ He mused to himself.  _ Alistair laughed as well but shortly taking on a slightly serious ton. "I picked it in Lothering. I remember thinking, 'How something so beautiful could exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?" he stepped a little closer. "I could have left it, but I thought of you, you're much like that rose, beautiful and strong."  _ __   
__   
_ Deedolett looked up slightly shocked, "You think me beautiful?" she felt her heart flutter.  _ __   
__   
__ *Woman, you are breathtakingly beautiful.*  he went to touch her but his hand passed right through, he saw when she kissed his cheek, he touched the spot still feeling the warm sensation. Alistair was being pulled yet again.    
  


~~*^*~~   
  
  
When he recognized where he took time to look around the room, she was standing at the table talking to the group, he came in the door Deedolett ran to him with a hug.  _ *No, not this...*  _ __   
__   
" _ Congratulations your Highness." She purred  _ __   
__   
_ *No, no.*  _ he started to shake his head.  _ "As King, I need to uphold, certain responsibilities. I don't know that there is a future for us, actually."  _ __   
__   
_ *You fool why did you say that!*  _ he screamed at himself he quickly looked to Deedolett.  _ *Make me stop, shit, shit!*  _ __   
__   
_ Deedolett looked at him with plea, trying to choke back the tears, "If we care about each other, that's all that matters. _ "  _ Her eyes pleaded with him. Alistair shook his head and walked out of the room. _ _   
_ __

_ *Don't walk away, look at her, look at her you sodding fool!*  _ Deedolett spoke to the others as her back was turned, then left the room with Alistair following closely behind her. He reached for her and could do nothing but watch his hand pass through.  _ *Deedolett I am sorry, I am so sorry.*  _ He knelt in front of her crying with her.  _ *I didn't mean it, I love you, tremendously, can you hear me! Please Forgive Me.*  _ the tears would not stop, the harder she cried the more it hurt him, he didn't know how affected she was.   
  
It became clear to him, he could now see the hurt he caused and understood why she stayed despite her pain because he asked, no more no less why she left when it became too much for her, her heart hurt.  _ *Please forgive me, you are and have been mine, I was just...Maker what can I do, why did I let Eamon suggest putting her aside?*  _ he just cried he could understand her actions, being so distant she was just doing her duty.    
  
_ *Maybe it would have been better if Anora were on the throne.*  _ He had broken a promise to her it was going to take a lot to get her to forgive him and now with Teagan in the picture.   
  


~~*^*~~   
  
  
He woke as if he had been thrown back down into his body, he felt that his face still wet from tears even after he woke. Alistair sat on the edge of his bed, mind still stuck on her crying on the floor without being able to do anything. "I love her, I always have. I have to talk to her, but how?" He got up to wash his face off.    
"I cannot lose her to Teagan, or anyone else, I  _ can't just  _ lose her we been through too much." He rubbed his face in his hands, he went and pulled a tunic from the dresser he looked seeing the message from Empress Celine, it is to meet with her about the Grey Wardens rebuild, and talks of peace. Growling his frustrations, "I forgot." Alistair wouldn't get his chance he was leaving in two days. "I'll just have to tell find a way when I get back." He smiled with a slight sense of renewed hope.


	15. Gilded Cage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally had an Elvish language in place for a few words and the next chapter was chock-full of Elvish, but it wasn't Thedian Elvish. I decided to scrap it.

Alistair called Deedolett to his study, he needed to talk to her in detail but now wasn't the time. He was looking out the window, he took it in, it was a beautiful day out the sun shone brightly, and the sky was clear and blue like the ocean. Several minutes later a knock came to the door. "Enter." He called behind him, his breath caught, it doesn't matter what she wears she could have darkspawn blood covering her and she still takes his breath away. Her hair was braided in a single braid, she wore a pale blue dress that fell off the shoulders, and was backless he smiled slightly as they wore similar colors this day, he a light blue tunic and dark blue leggings.   


"You called for me your Majesty?" she walked over to the desk.    
  
"Yes, there is a question I need you to answer for me, but first I know you want to jump back into your duties..." Deedolett nodded, "it will not be necessary Eamon has everything under control. He turned back to the window,    
  
"And your question my lord?" she stood to fan herself slightly. He drew a deep breath no mistaken it wasn't something he wished to talk about, he let the breath he held out slowly they looked at each other in the eyes he reached for her and placed her braid over her shoulder.    
  
"Something is different about you. Have you..." he took a step back, crossed his arm and chewed the inside of his lower lip, his heart knew the answer, her demeanor told on her, even her full lips looked as if she just been kissed, he just needed to hear it from her lips.    
  
"Your, Highness?" speaking softly she cocked her head slightly to rouse him from his thoughts.    
  
"Have you been sleeping with Teagan?" he blurted out, he was thinking of a subtler way to phrase it, he had to know from her, her word meant everything. Deedolett lost all color in her face, she blinked a few times feeling the tears sting her eyes, her heart thumped hard against her chest. "I...I find that to be a rather personal question." She felt warm, as the rose colored hue crept to her cheeks.    
  
Alistair glared at her with an icy calm, "I will take that as a yes?" she nodded ever so slowly hanging her head slightly as to hide the guilt, she had been feeling since the day it happened. Closing the distance He lifted her chin with his finger forcing her to look at him, he leaned close to her ear whispering "I forgive you. I want him gone before my return." He met her gaze once more, her eyes widened at his statement, she recovered quickly.    
  
"You want me to stop seeing him, or sleeping with him?" she frowned slightly, the look in his eyes said everything, he wasn't joking nor found it remotely amusing.    
  
"Both. Now you tell him or I will." His lips were dangerously close their breaths intermingled with each other.    
  
Her heart was in her ears now she looked at his lips then searched his eyes  _ *why are you doing this to me?*  _ "You tell him." She whispered.    
  
Alistair raised a slight eyebrow, "As you wish." He whispered fanning his breath over her face, his scent filling her nostrils with his clean earthy smell. Alistair pressed his lips to hers pulling her close, she pressed her thighs together, her arms fell to her side as his lips and tongue fogged her mind. He released her Deedolett stumbled forward slightly, her heart was pounding, and she covered her chest to still her heart and griping desk to steady her.    
Alistair called over his shoulder, "Prepare for Summerday, which should keep you occupied until my return from Orlais." 

  
"No, I'm leaving." She quickly covered her mouth hoping to catch the words that slipped out.    
  
He turned on his heel gently grabbing her face with his large sword worn hand "I will not let you go. You will not leave me again, for anyone." He hissed through gritted teeth. He sighed, returning to his once calm demeanor, he was not joking he had been this way when he met with his 'sister' Goldanna. He kissed her forehead and walked out the room closing the think wooden door behind him.   


~~*^*~~   
  
Zevran climbed through the window and placed a hand on Deedolett's shoulder, she jumped at his touch. "So sorry my dear, it seems that King Warden has grown quite jealous?"    
  
Deedolett turned quickly hugging Zevran tightly. "He had the same look in his eyes, that cold uncaring calm as when he went to behead Loghain." She trembled.    
Zevran held her for a few moments, "I will speak to him." He assured himself she was well before he left her to collect herself.    
  
"Thank you, you are too good to me."    
  
"It is but a pleasure to fawn over such a delicious creature such as yourself. I would have it no other way." He flashed his trademark grin and left after the King.    
  
Deedolett hurried to check on Teagan, she knocked before she entered, looking around, noting that nothing was out of place she checked the bedroom. He wasn't in bed hearing water splash she peeked around the corner to see him enjoying a bath. She exited as quietly as she came in and made way to the council chambers, she took the stairs to the second floor balcony taking a seat behind Alistair's dais, overhearing a heated discussion, peering over the railing she saw Zevran leaning on the table.    
  
"Then you my friend are a...asno!" Zevran pushed himself off the table turning on his heel cursing in Antivan.    
  
"I'm a WHAT!" Alistair hit the table hard, causing her to jump. Deedolett could have sworn she heard Zev say something along the lines of  _ 'I could have pursued her, but I let her go to you, cause that is what she asked.'  _ __   
__   
Wynne shook her head sighing, "I must agree with our assassin, on this one." And she calmly left the room. Watching he sank back into his dais for several moments, she looked to the door that was opening and a lovely strawberry blonde was being escorted in by an older gentleman, he rose to greet the woman, “Your Gracious Majesty, may I present my daughter...” Feeling someone watching him he looked around then up to the balcony, seeing no one  __ *Odd*  he shrugged turning his attention back to the young woman.   


Deedolett slunk back into the shadows, she was confused, and she managed a weak smile, her thoughts raced after her visit with the King, guilt for being with Teagan, feeling like she cheated. It was Alistair's fault.  _ *I do not feel we have a future together.*  _ Chimed in her thoughts.   
It made sense, from what she read her race alone was condemned to a life of servitude, pets or playthings. It made even more sense being a mage, she and Cullen would have never been. Shaking her head, she made her way to the door * _ But why would he want me to stop seeing Teagan, Alistair claims me no more.*  _ She was so lost in thought she then bumped right into Zevran. Quickly apologizing, he waved it off "My love, come with me." He grabbed her hand pulling her to the entrance of the castle    
  
Deedolett knitted her brow in confusion. "I don't understand, go with you where?" She tried her best to keep up with him.   
  
"From here." He stopped and gestured the castle. "Allow me to free you from how does one say, jaula de oro, as you have freed me from the Crows." He cupped her face kissing her forehead tenderly. Seeing Wynne from the corner of her eye the older mage placed a comforting hand on her shoulder,    
  
"Child, what is it you want to do?"    
  
Deedolett looked back at the door she just left, "I have...wait you know? Is it that obvious, it is almost like I have a sign following me." the older woman smiled and nodded.   
  
"I have a plan, Zev find Naharra, Anders, and Nathaniel, I will be in my room." Zev left grinning to himself. With a wriggle of his trim blonde brows, "Oh I will find Naharra alright."    
  
"Wynne can you come with me please." 

~~*^*~~    
  
They arrived at her room, and she began to explain what happened when Alistair asked to speak to her as she took a few pieces of vellum jotting something quickly. "He told me to plan for Summerday I will do just that." Naharra entered as she sealed the last note.    
  
"My lady?" She looked a little flushed Deedolett knew what happened and shrugged it off. She waited until the others showed to tell of her plan. Once they all gathered, she had a task for each of them.   
  
"I need you to take these to whom I have addressed, make haste it is of great importance. May the Maker guide your journey." She kissed the girl on the forehead and sent her on her way. Turing to Zevran and Anders "I need you two to find me two gentlemen who look like..." she told eye color didn't much matter but physical type did. "And three women who look like myself..."    
  
"No one looks like  _ you _ ." They stated together purring.   


She smiled, and continued to describe how the women and men should look, "but if push comes to shove, we will soon have help with that." She then turned to her second in Command "Nathaniel, you and Varel can head back to Amaranthine if you need too. I do not wish for things to pile up on us."    
  
Nathaniel spoke up, "Commander I will go Varel can stay, I would like to see what you have planned. I should be back in time to attend the festival." With a nod, Deedolett gave the man a squeeze on the shoulder and he too left to make ready. Alistair watched her as she took Zevran and Wynne away with her before he went 'training'. He sent for Jar'ad to send word to Teagan to meet him in the training grounds it was high time Alistair conveyed his feelings to the man that is his Uncle and Deedolett's comforter. Teagan was warming up with a training dummy when the King arrived.    
He had worked up a good sweat and waited for Alistair to get his muscles loose. "Teagan, I know I have not been the most hospitable host." Alistair tried to keep the sneering and venom to a minimum.    
  
"Do not worry about that your highness you are a busy man." Teagan stood in a saluted position with sword and shield in hand. Alistair took his sword, shield, and made the same pose signaling his ready.   
  
"Yes well, that does have a lot to do with Lady Deedolett." With a curious brow raised, "Oh?" Teagan started to circle, with Alistair watching each step.    
  
Alistair made the first move, and showed just how hard the impact from sword connecting with Teagan's shield, his nephew was a lot stronger than anticipated. "I want you to stop seeing her!" Alistair grunted threw his teeth when Teagan made contact with his sword.   
  
"With all due respect, I do not see why I should!" He pushed back Alistair with much force before swinging at the King's mid section. Dodging the incoming blow Alistair fumed at the simple request and retaliated by lunging and shield bashing to show Teagan that he was serious.    
  
Teagan started to feel the strain of Alistair's persistent onslaught, rolling out of the way Teagan laughed at the 'boy' before him. "King or no, you are acting like a spoiled child she is a grown woman free to make her decisions and free to see whom she wants!" Teagan rushed him and clashed swords.    
  
"No offense. You let her go, everyone knows it, and she is free to be courted at any time. Anyone who has eyes knows the pain you caused." That made Alistair's blood boil.    
  
"And you are the one to make it better for her?" he swung his sword wildly. They continued like that until evening, both tired neither yielding to the other. Grasping at straws Alistair had one last card trick. "I am still in love with her; she would also need my permission to marry."   
  


"You're a boy, unworthy of her affections especially after what you did to her. She told me everything." Teagan threw his sword and shield down, and turned leaving the grounds to bathe and visit Deedolett in her bedchambers.    
Teagan found that she was asleep already and decided to crawl into bed with her. Pressing against her back, he leaned over to kiss her on the neck. "No... Alistair..." she mumbled in her sleep.    
  
Teagan sighed heavily it was not the first time that she said his name in her sleep or during those intimate moments, it wasn't often but it still happened. Teagan was getting a little tired of her thoughts occupied with Alistair. He took it in stride and was going to keep trying other means – if need be, to make her forget about Alistair. "A beautiful and intelligent woman such as yourself does not need someone who can toss you aside like a torn shirt. He is acting like a petulant child, but he seemed genuine, it must be because I threaten his standings with you." Teagan stroked her soft brown locks and continued to talk to her while she slept. When he felt as though he would slip into his own peaceful slumber, he kissed her cheek and made his way to his own bed. 


	16. Summerday - The Festival of Surprise!

Preparations for the Summerday has been a task, there is food, decorating, costume design and making, music, floral placement and hair. She could not have done it all alone, so she enlisted the help of her friendly bard Leliana, devilishly handsome Antivan Zevran and Lady in waiting Naharra.    
Wynne was off with the King in Orlais conducting business. Nathaniel had yet to return to the Castle he did send a missive that things were well, and he should return well before the festival. Anders had been a big help, but Deedolett could tell he was not quite happy.    
  
Deedolett had Naharra send word to First Enchanter Irving for a few magi and sending word of her safe arrival she wished him, and the Knight-Commander could be here for her performance.    
She sent one to the Dwarven King Bailen in Orzammar for a few engineers with their expertise in gear work and word around Denerim for an Elven woodmaster. She sought out the jeweler who designed her bracelet, getting the name from Teagan and Sandal for enchantments.    
  


~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett asked Alistair to reconsider his banishment of Teagan until the festival was over, "As long as you're not, Canoodle-ing, it will be fine." Deedolett suppressed a chuckle remembering hearing such a conversation from her witch sister, curtsied and went straight to work on her plan. 

Several days went by and once everyone was together, she explained in detail her plan. Leliana was positively giddy with delight. "This will be the grandest, most spectacular Summerday ever!" Leliana set to work straight away. Deedolett handed her a few sketches of the costume design, not wasting much time sent several others to work on preparations.  
  
  
Minutes, hours, days, weeks and with two days left everything in the Denerim market was getting the final additions as well as the Alienage; the main stage was set up in the middle of the old market that was destroyed by the darkspawn. A raised stage for the King and court was in place, below that a place for Noble guests and the musicians were set to the left and right of the main stage.   
Beautiful vibrant colors of yellows, reds, oranges and silver fabric were swaying playfully in the wind, draped from several windows and market stalls, the flora of similar colors was placed throughout. They tied a huge ribbon on the Alienage tree, games and other festival revelry lined the newly paved streets. The two groups that were performing a better part of the entertainment practiced are held in the abandoned warehouse Deedolett and her group cleared during the Blight.   
  
"Tonight is the last run through and you will have short practice on the stage." Leliana was tuning her lute she looked over to Deedolett who was rubbing her feet. "I know you are tired, my friend."   
  
Deedolett cut her off, "No I'm ok, and I can do this. I am just a little out of practice." She flashed a grin to Zevran, who was sweating also.   
  
"Yes, this is quite exhilarating." He helped her to her feet. "True I never knew you were such a good dancer." She took her place grinning.   
  
"Ok everyone places Baeralas's Baer." Leliana began to strum. Late into the hot summer night, the troupe returned to their quarters.   
  
"Costume and hair last practice after tomorrow." Leliana said through a yawn. Deedolett was grateful for all the help, this is to be a significant performance one the King never saw her dance, and to her true feelings will be known. Deedolett finally made it to her room she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.   
  
~~*^*~~   
  
The morning and afternoon were still being busy, the Dwarfs created three mechanical boxes that wound up, and they even managed to make them spin. The Elven master formed the wooded base and created a scroll design of three elements, together they created a wooden doll, it was a tough project, but they managed to get it to work according to Deedolett's specifications. 

  
The night before the Festival the center stage was covered by a curtain they practiced later in the evening with no musical accompaniment, Sandal presented them with the enchanted jewelry that was to be used for the three women. Alistair came to look around the town and tried to peek beneath the curtain and was quickly had his hand popped. "Ouch! You're a bad person you know?" grinning to the older woman. Wynne just chuckled he sighed, "So you are not going to tell me what is going on."    
  
"I have had specific instructions not to divulge any information, young man." She shook her head, smiling ushering him away from the stage.    
Later Deedolett crawled into her bed after Leliana's pep talk, "Everyone has done a great job, I will see you all in the morning for hair and makeup, have a good night."    
  


~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett sought out Anders, coming to his door she knocked once and entered, she found him in his room looking out of the window.    
"Anders, are you well, I have noticed you are a little distressed." She walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.    
  
"No love, I'm alright." He put his best smile on. Deedolett sighed and went to his wardrobe and began packing his bags, he looked over to her when the doors clicked open. "Deedolett, what are you doing?" He went to reach for the bag. She pulled away and continued packing his things neatly.    
  
"I am sending you away, I had located and destroyed your phylactery and you are leaving here, by order of your Commander, and friend." She continued to pack and did not bother looking up at him.    
  
"What? When?" he stood with his mouth, agape and eyes glossed over. "I have friends, I do hope this will make you happy, I will miss you... you have been good to me. Do not worry about someone following you, no one will question it." She handed him his belongings and ushered him towards the door.    
  
Anders stopped turning quickly – so quickly, Deedolett tripped caught in his arms in a tight hug. "Thank you, you are the greatest." He murmured in her hair, he kissed the top of her head and cheek then left.    
  
"Be well, I’ll miss you!" She called after him with a smile.    
  


~~*^*~~    
  
The next morning Alistair went in search of his Arlessa and could not locate her. He opened the doors early so the towns' folk could partake in the festival breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Alistair did not stay long within the confines of the palace walls. He took his coin purse and Tengu as they wandered out the gates into the town to amuse themselves with the festival splendor and some of the games. 

He handed some coin to the children, watching Tengu as he played with some of the children and played with a few while making his way to the Alienage, snacking on some of the various foods buying some of the stall items, looking for Deedolett in the process. Catching sight of Bann Shianni the Alienage's leader, hoping she and her family will accompany him back to the castle soon for lunch. He made his way back to the back entrance of the palace to help himself to a light lunch, and still no Deedolett  _ *all that wondering and no her, Maker I hope she did not leave.*  _ at three bells trumpets sounded signaling the events beginning.    
As everyone, were taking their seats and settled the trumpets, sounded again, the crowd cheered as King Alistair Theirin took his seat.    
"Let the evening Summerday begin!" he shouted as the drums and trumpets played, some mages put on a fireworks display into the night sky.    
  
~~*^*~~   
  
Deedolett was finishing dressing when she heard the first trumpets, "Leli is everyone dressed, ladies we should be ready." Deedolett called Leliana tied the ribbon on her back, "That wig makes you look so different you look like a doll." She giggled loving to play dress up the bard ran to check her musicians to make sure everyone was in place. "I will see you shortly, good luck." And the sapphire eyed beauty was gone.    
  
Deedolett helped the women with the jewelry that went with their costumes. "You all look very beautiful, I appreciate the time and help you have given and it will not go unnoticed." She smiled, leading them out of the door at the second trumpet and drum flourish.    
The curtain went up covering the stage, a murmur waved amongst the crowd light music and instrument tuning and testing being done, several runes lit the curtain in an array of color all eyes were on the stage as the curtain parted showing the stage finally. Everyone pointed to the three fabric covered boxes, and a tall man with his apprentice working in the clear corner. The crowd murmured as the Lillo flutes began to play.    
  
  


~~*^*~~    
  
~Baeralas's Baer~ (Drosselmeyer's Doll)    
  
The man watches as the doll dances about, but something's not quite right, he sees the doll fall with her head spinning around on her neck, several gasps could be heard from the audience, and he has the doll carried off shaking his head. Deedolett brought in she is wearing a snow-white chignon wig, white silk and lace top, snugly fit with a ribbon skirt to her knees of light blue and white tulle, her white and blue toe shoes ribbon laced around her ankles, she stands expressionless. He winds her up, when he finishes she stands on her toes and dances around with a series of twirls, she pauses with her leg extended he takes her hand and spins her around she continues to dance.    
  


She starts to emanate electricity and ice to sparkle, the crowds' claps with ‘ _ ohs’ _ and ‘ _ ahs’ _ as she winds down in the center of the stage and stops. The apprentices carefully move the circular platforms in a triangle formation around Deedolett and her master. The Gentleman presented his doll to the King with a bow, signaling another man with a slightly husky voice in time with the music.    
  
"Gentlemen, this fallen angel is the illegitimate daughter of art and science. A modern marvel of engineering, clockworks elevated to the very natural process which even now sets your blood racing and your eyes flashing at such irreproachable beauty. Here is Kae, here is Eilai, here is Sheileir, and I stand before you as her father. Sprung fully-formed from my brow, dewy and sweet; she can be yours and yours again, for her flesh is the incorruptible pale-the excuse from the wages of sin!"    
  
As each name is spoken, the fabric drops to reveal the women, who bore a striking resemblance to the main Doll, with Kae short brown hair and bright jade eyes, with element stone skin falling from the wrist and ankles her outfit is that of earth. Ivy and a vine tail that reached the floor, with white flowers dotting about and green toe shoes and brown ribbon tie.    
  
Eilai with medium length jet black hair that curled at the tips and striking ocean eyes, she wore a set of special designed small clothes, that were dyed pale blue with scrolling blue up the sides of her legs and down her arms, as well as crackling at her wrist and ankles, with blue toe shoes white ribbon tie.    
  
Lastly Sheileir with her long, wild, fire red hair and brilliant fuchsia eyes, she wore flames at her wrist and ankles like the other ladies she had a top that looked like it was made of scales, her bottoms left the outside of her legs look like they were scales red toe shoes and orange ribbon tie. Baeralas touches Deedolett's arm tenderly and strokes her cheek, he then winds her up once more, and she begins to twirl in the center with her ice element sparkling around her.    
  
Also the three ladies dancing a spinning about, with elemental grace, the crowd cheers the beauty of the ladies and the use of elemental magic then Deedolett joins and the four of them leap, spin and twirl to when the music winds down. Deedolett is finally facing the King and Teagan, on the last note they collapse like dolls, causing the King and Teagan to rise, Zevran placed a hand on his arm pausing him with a shake of his head and Shianni pausing Teagan with a smile.    
  
Baeralas swept Deedolett into his arms carrying her off stage; the others neatly swept away as well.    
  
~~*^*~~    
  
At Brother Genitivi's home, where the women changed during the performance, Leliana met them clapping and squealing. 

Deedolett shook the paralysis spell off, blinking her eyes rapidly.    
  
"Oh, oh you were all lovely dollies, you looked so wonderful." She clapped and went on and on with praise of her work "Quickly Deedolett your outfit is here." She hurried Deedolett into the bedroom and had her hair done and dressed.    
  
They finished ten minutes later, she came out, in an altered version of her mages robes from the tower, short up to her thighs she had burgundy point shoes to match. Her back was out and it fastened at the neck, bare arms, and tiny slits up the sides from full movement, her hair tied in a loose curled chignon at the top of her head. She was ready and ushered to the stage cloaked. The stage was filled with jugglers, tumblers, and music as they awaited the next big performance. Once the stage was cleared of the mabari show, the runes were dimmed and the curtain closed again.   
  
~~*^*~~    
  
Suna no Oshiro ~ Castle of Sand.    
  
The mages outside the stage formed a cloud with 'rain' the drums sounded like light thunder rumbling and runes made the lightning effect, the curtain opened to show two men dressed in dark colors facing the two spots where the audience can see. One facing the musicians and one opposite facing the King, in the center was Deedolett; she starts to dances in time to the music as 'Alistair' removes his mask.    
  
Alistair sits on the edge of his dais eyes wide. They do a few lifts and turns she shows her magic ability of lightning and quick graceful footwork, he is her friend and lover is exhibited as they dance together. Then taking her hand and pulls her to him as she covers her face turning away from him, then to his face and caresses his cheek. They dance he lifts her and tosses her in the air spinning her, showing the innocent love  _ (Alistair)  _ touches her shoulder with the rose sensually gliding it across her bare skin and lips, she looks to the flower in his hands. Taking the perfect rose, she is lead around the room until he disappears from the stage.    
  
Alone she dances around looking for him and to no avail; she walks over towards the musicians' area and dances about looking to the sky for an answer. A series of gasps collect, Alistair, on his dais starts to feel a tug at his heart. Deedolett then sits on the floor in 'tears' she lets loose a dramatic emotional powerful flame, surrounding her body as she pounds the ground. The last man walks up to her removing his mask, Teagan gasps.  _ (Teagan)  _ places a hand on Deedolett's shoulder and she reluctantly takes it dancing away he pleads with her to trust him she takes his hand and dances with him in beautiful series of lifts and spins.   


Feeling as she can trust him she shares with him her hurt. He responds by kissing her hand. She then places a hand on his cheek, feeling herself beginning to trust him more she raises her leg on his thigh, he feels her leg, and she arches her back letting lose her hair. As it cascades down her leg and she raises back up to face him, he picks her up and spins her with her legs wrapped around his waist. They 'kiss' and she is put back down, they dance together with graceful throws and spins. ( _ Alistair)  _ Sees them together and takes Deedolett back by the hand leading her away from ( _ Teagan)  _ as  _ (Alistair)  _ starts to argue with  _ (Teagan)  _ and they fight, both grab an arm of Deedolett and they turn her pulling her forwards whipping her about, backward and flipping her gracefully across their arms, they start to tug her left and right.    
  
She is crying now, no longer just a piece of the performance, she is pouring her emotions into this dance. Every ounce of raw emotion she had not been able to express is being shown this moment. Deedolett dances on, pulling her arms away from them both in turns to the center of the stage and as the final notes play she finishes on her toes arms and fingers extended then she shifts into the fade, like a ghost.    
  
The music concludes, the crowd explodes at the last performance, Deedolett can hear them but she cannot stop the tears, her heart is aching. The curtain is closed Zevran rushes over to the stage cloaking her carrying her to Brother Genitivi's house,    
  
Leliana slipped away to catch up with them both. She is sobbing, shaking her breathing ragged, "Deedolett..." Leliana called her friend softly with her own tears burning her eyes.    
  
"You danced beautifully, I think," Zevran wiped her tears "I speak for everyone when I say; you conveyed what you cannot bring to light out there. If they do not see the pain and torment they have caused..."    
  
Her fingers stopped him from speaking and gentle shaking of her head. Alistair and Teagan exchanged glances after the curtains fell, both nodding in agreement they left quietly, while the music stirred a jaunty tune as everyone ate, drank and danced under the warm night sky.


	17. Seeing Eye to Eye

The thick walls of the palace muffled the celebration outside; Teagan followed closely behind King Alistair to the study, as Alistair waved the guards away from the door. "Please, have a seat, drink?" Alistair poured a glass of brandy.   
  
"Thank you, Your Majesty. The...uh performance was breathtaking, yes?" Teagan took a sip.    
  
"Yes her performance." Alistair looked out of the window, "I questioned her already about the two of you." He placed the bottle down and took a seat behind his desk. "I asked her to stop the affair. She had left it to me to speak to you about it. That is the reason I spoke with you before I had left for Orlais."    
  
Teagan looked up at the young king, "May I ask why?"   


Alistair looked into the glass and swirled the brown liquid with a heavy sigh "Honestly? Jealousy a selfish man's desire for someone he had an opportunity to be with completely." He took a drink lost in thought.    
  
Teagan nodded "I told her you were a fool, regardless of the consequences." Teagan sat back smiling at this 'boy' before him, "Now you want me to give Deedolett to you willingly, without first finding what she wants?"    
  
"Yes, I would and you're right, it would be her decision." He poured another glass for Teagan and himself.    
  
"She is an infectious woman, intelligent, caring, exquisite and quite...  _ flexible _ ." Teagan grinned, staring into his glass. Alistair shot him a nasty glance.  _ *How dare you! I should strip you of your title, like that would do any good. All right, two can play that game.*  _ "You know about the leaf-shaped birthmark, right?" 

Teagan looked up, surprised. Alistair grinned ear to ear. He did not divulge too much information, but he knew her body well. He was positive that there was nothing more between them than lust-driven attraction.   


~~*^*~~    
  
Leliana and Zevran sat waiting for Deedolett to finish dressing so they could make their way back to the castle for dinner. "I hope this is acceptable." Deedolett came out wearing a canary yellow dress with a scoop in the front, modeled after Morrigan's top. Her hair was pulled up into a chignon with loose curls and two braids draped over her shoulders.    
  
"You look wonderful," Zevran graced her knuckles taking her arm.    
  
"Are you all better, my friend?" Leliana asked as she led them to the door.    
  
"I am. I just hope neither will be disappointed."    
  
Leliana took her other arm once outside and they made their way to the palace. Nathaniel walked up as they were leaving the house, "Deedolett... You were beautiful tonight."    
  
Seeing her friend, she rushes to a welcoming hug, "Thank you, I was afraid you wouldn't have made it." She grinned.   
  
"I was in the audience, I had the best seat." He held his arm for her to take. Deedolett slipped her arm in his and Zevran took the other. Nathaniel knew the situation and offered his support. "If for any chance they do not understand what it was that you tried to convey..." Zevran shook his blonde locks in agreement; he did not like to see his dearest friend distraught.    
  
"It is alright; at least I let my feelings show tonight, no harm shall come to them. Promise me."    
  
Zevran agreed stating for emphasis, "Just let me know, my friend, and I shall be your arm."    
  
Deedolett sighed and laughed, to change the mood. "What is a girl to do, a handsome man on each arm, and my lovely bardic friend to help me in a moment's notice. I really do appreciate you all being here, you have done so much for me, Thank you. I will even thank Wynne when I see her."    
  
Leliana's eyes glassed over, "You are our dearest friend; we would stop the flow of time if we could for you." The redheaded bard giggled. "Now we are almost here. There will be speeches and the like, are you up for it?" Confidence renewed, Deedolett smirked.    
  
"Out of all the hard decisions I've ever made, I would rather walk the Deep Roads." Leliana and Zevran laughed as they continued their way to the palace, Nathaniel gave a brief chuckle.   


~~*^*~~    
  
The Herald announced the dancers in the Great Hall. The dancers gave their doll performance again, minus Deedolett, for the nobility. Alistair congratulated everyone and Deedolett ushered them to the next room for small boons of thanks. Deedolett reentered a while later. As they entered the dining hall, Alistair took her arm. "You have done a lovely job on the decorations, and the food looks wonderful, as do you." he leaned into her ear whispering while inhaling her intoxicating scent.   
  
"You're quite welcome, you're Majesty. I would be happy to do it all over again should you ever ask," she smiled politely in return. She took her seat nearest the King with Wynne, Arl Eamon, and Varel across from her. Bann Teagan sat to Alistair's right and Leliana to his left, Zevran on Deedolett's right. Nathaniel sat on her left with Tengu sitting on her right with a large beautiful red and gold bow, panting happily. "You hungry boy?" Deedolett asked looking down at her beloved furry friend. He yipped in acknowledgment and the group closest laughed. Soon the food was brought in filling the room with its wonderful aroma.    
  


~~*^*~~    
  
Some hours later, Deedolett chatted with those closest to her while everyone continued to eat, drink and sing. Several guests complimented her on her performance joined by Teagan and Alistair. After a while, she excused herself and went to Teagan's chair, "I need to speak to you if you please," she said softly into his ear.    
  
Teagan nodded and followed her to a side room of the hall, closely watched by Alistair. "You needed to speak to me?" he asked.    
  
"I have been avoiding you due to the King's request so I apologize for that now."    
  
"That's the reason for you not sneaking into my bedchambers these past weeks." He moved closer to her wrapping his arms around her small waist. Deedolett felt his warm breath fanning her face. She tensed up and slipping out of his embrace a quick kiss to his cheek, "I'll be right back." She left the room and came back with Alistair in tow. 

  
"Alright, I have something that needs to be said, because it is obvious that neither of you is going to say anything." She started to pace, visibly agitated and both men watched her closely. She stopped sharply, turning to look from one to the other. "I know what  _ my  _ feelings are for both of you." She started to rub her brow, feeling herself get angry. "You need to let me know what your intentions are. I am not looking for what you can offer me, and I am not asking what you can offer me physically. It goes deeper than that. I will not use either one of you and I will not be  _ toyed  _ with." Deedolett kissed them both on the cheek and returned to the party.    
  
Alistair and Teagan looked at the door then back to each other, "King Alistair Theirin." Teagan turned to him, bowing.    
  
"Arl Teagan Guerrin."Alistair nodded in return.    
  
"If you honestly love that woman out there, I will accept her as my niece." Teagan patted Alistair on the shoulder and left the King to his thoughts.    
  


~~*^*~~    
  
Alistair returned to the grand hall after several minutes, taking his seat once again at the table. A moment later, Alistair cleared his throat and stood up. Immediately, the room grew silent, awaiting the word of the King, "Deedolett Surana has been an exceptional driving force. She has not only helped the defeat of the Archdemon and quelled the Blight, but she has also helped with the rebuilding of the towns that were affected during the Blight. She has gotten the Magi their controlled independence and seen to it that the Elves are treated with the respect they deserve rather seen as second-class citizens. Long live Deedolett!"    
  
The room cheered, everyone, raising their glasses and applauding. Deedolett felt her cheeks warm. "Say a few things," he whispered. Deedolett shook her head slightly, and Alistair added, "They're waiting."    
  
She sighed, rising "I appreciate all of the kind words from our beloved King." She paused to collect her thoughts. "I have been honored to assist with everything that has been brought to my attention, honored more so by everyone allowing me to help. With everything running smoothly as it is, I..." she hung her head. Then looked from her Blight companions and Nathaniel, then to Teagan and Alistair taking a deep breath, she said very quickly. "I am stepping down as Arlessa, and I will be leaving from Denerim for good." She pushed her chair back and headed for the door as fast as she could.    
Teagan looked at Alistair, "Stop her!" he shouted.    
  
"Deedolett!" he called. She slowed briefly, " Ar lath ma, vhenan !" She and turned slowly, shaking her head no. 


	18. Penshra Ghilas vellathan

Alistair and Deedolett looked at each other for a long moment, Deedolett's face twisted in confusion her eyes narrowed. "Alistair, do you, or is this because I refused you?" Deedolett gesturing wildly, her eyes darting to Teagan then boring her aqua eyes to Alistair, through narrowed eyes refused to raise her voice.  
  
Alistair's muscles tightened as he ground his teeth together. "Both." He took a breath to steady himself. He loved her. She was right this hadn't been fair to her. At last, he had a chance to make it right.   
_ *No more holding back, this is it.* _ " Ar lath ma. I am sorry for what I said after the Landsmeet." He paused to collect his thoughts, "I want to be with you and no other. I tried." Alistair whispered the last words, so she would not know his shame at trying to seek another.  
  
Deedolett crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "You lied to me. You said you loved me, then at first cliff, you leap without me." She felt a lump in her throat as she screamed, "I did what I thought was right for Ferelden, I didn't think for one moment you would rip my heart out!" Tears streamed down her cheeks she seethed, turning in small circles as she paced where she stood.   
Deedolett was hurting, she was furious not only did she wish she never stayed on, she wished the fool speaking with her wasn't constricting her feelings.   
She loved him, yes, still, damn her and her feelings for this fool. She gave herself to him, mind, body, and soul he was and always will be her undoing. 

"Deedolett, I never meant to hurt you. I know I promised to love you forever and I do, with all my heart." Alistair walked slowly over to her, not taking his eyes off her, "Please just listen, let me explain. I made a grave mistake, but I have had time to think. Please let me make this right.”   
He eked closed still for fear of running her off, she is his and he will have it no other way, hands raised in pleading he continued to reassure her, “When I went to Orlais, I could think of no one but you. Ask Wynne, I nagged the whole trip." * _ Even in her distressed state she is still beautiful* _ his heart aching twisted painfully in his chest.   
  
Seeing his approach, she started to back away slowly. Deedolett needed to get away, she wanted to be in his arms, the look in his eyes, told no falsehood, he was begging for her to stay, and she felt trapped, her need of him, had grown strong, the times they fought together, leaning on each other, secrets they shared, all the possible and impossible thoughts they shared. _ *Damn him, my heart cannot stand this.* _ Her head hurt, her heart hurt, tears continue to fall.   
  
She thought about the first time they met, to the words that broke her world. Deedolett was beyond hurt, "I never lied to you, not once! You love me how? By making me a noble to serve under you or just to be your consort? You hurt me, Alistair."   
Every word came as a hiss. The sacrifice she made so they both could live, thinking that at least he would be here with her. She never thought that things would feel so off, his attitude shifted greatly, could he have not chosen the worst time to admit his faults, she wanted to leave, to clear her mind. The edges of her vision blurred she was feeling dizzy, “Love, love is only in stories.”, shaking her head vigorously _ *How could I be so naïve?* _ trying to extinguish the thoughts for the love she will never have.   
  
She turned towards the door, air she needed air, maybe she could resolve her composure and go back with Nathaniel and Varel. Alistair was furious and scared, * _ she was trying to leave!* _"No, you are not that to me at all... Please... Don't leave! Damn it! Guards, bar the doors!" 

Acting on fear, he hurried over to Deedolett. Zevran and Nathaniel were the first to rise, blades in hand, as they almost knocked their seats over, Zevran knowing how the King's temper has been of late. Several of the women gasped, while a few other men started to rise, ready to assist if necessary, Tengu started to stalk toward Alistair, growling lightly until Wynne calmed the men down with a simple wave of her hand.   
  
Stopping in front of the guards who stood in her way. "Oh, now you are going to hold me, prisoner, Zevran was right! Move out of my way!" she spat, she raised her hands to cast at them, electricity dancing wildly on her fingers; all she could think to do was get away. The men flinched, but relaxed when her arm was suddenly grabbed, drawing her attention to the King. "Release me!" She wrenched her arm from his grasp.   
  
"No. I love you. I refuse to let you go. No more running." Alistair cupped her face in his hands, touching his forehead to hers.   
  
"No I-I cannot do this. Stop...let me leave..." She placed her hands over his to pull herself free, to get away from his warm touch. It was making it hard for her to concentrate. Deedolett could smell his scent, mingled arousal, and love. His hot breath fanning her face, smelling of berry pie, they had for dessert, it was not helping her situation. "Ar lath ma, please hear... feel the words I learned to say to you. By the Maker, I love you immensely." He looked into her eyes, pleading with her to listen.   
  
Moving his arm to her waist pulling her closer to him, holding the back of her head with his large hand- forcing her to remain still, unable to move. Everyone in the room went still, watching the couple before them. The whole room with mixed emotions. They could see by the way he was holding her, and the fact that she allowed him to stop her escape, that this was a tender moment that friends and guests were allowed to witness. Everyone strained to hear what was being said between them, but the Mage and the King were speaking too softly.   


~~*^*~~   
  
"Find a b -bride, please, let me go." she pleaded with him, tears continuing to pour from her eyes. Her heart was breaking. "I w-would r-rather be made t-tranquil, just... oh, Maker, please..." She wasn't able to finish her thought, as Alistair's sweet gentle kiss covered her mouth and cut her off.   
Deedolett closed her eyes responsively, letting the feeling of warmth shroud her as he held her close. A soft moan escaped her throat, her heart was beating tremendously against her chest, like a hummingbird. Pulling away from her soft lips, he watched her slowly open her eyes greeted by the liquid sea-green of those expressive eyes. He breathed, his voice barely a whisper, "I _ have _ found my vhenas. Marry me." He smiled tenderly, searching her eyes for her answer.   


The room fell into a hushed silence, sounds of her mabari breathing and the crackle of flames were the only sounds they could hear, as they all waited for the answer breathlessly. Leliana nodded vigorously, tears running down her cheeks as her hands covered her heart and mouth.  
Zevran and Wynne smiled appreciatively, and even Tengu sported a wide doggie grin. Alistair reached into his pocket and fumbled a moment before finding what he needed. He dropped to one knee. "Maybe they didn't hear," he said, gesturing to the people around them. "I asked if you would do me the honor of becoming my wife." He could hear the room murmur happily, and some started to wolf whistle and clapped.   
  
Deedolett starred at the man before her then she looked around at the room full of guests. Leliana was nodding, bouncing up and down excitedly. Wynne let a few tears roll down her cheeks as she smiled. Zevran nodded encouragingly, Nathaniel and Varel bowed. Tengu trotted over to Alistair and Deedolett and put his head on their clasped hands. He looked up at Deedolett and barked an affirmative of the union.   
  
"Deedolett Vanie Meleth Surana, will you marry me?" Alistair asked, grinning from ear to ear. Deedolett's head spun as she went through several thought processes.   
  
* _ Could this be happening? Does he really love me, this much?* _ She swayed, "N-n-yes?" All the arguing and the sudden proposal proved a little too much for her; she fainted. Alistair caught her before she hit her head on the stone floor. Scooping her up in his arms, he nodded to the guards blocking the door, they opened it as he went to carry her to her room.   
  
"What did she say?" Leliana called after him.   
  
"She said yes!" _ *I think* _The door closed behind him, but he could hear the cheers of the crowded dining hall even as he made his way up to the bedchamber. He smiled at the unconscious form of the lovely elf woman in his arms, "By the Maker, I love you woman." As he shifted her in his arms up the stairs.


	19. Flames Rekindled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexual, sexy... I'm at a loss for words about it.

Alistair changed his mind about taking her to her chambers he headed to his instead. All of the training he had been doing made the elven woman in his arms feel light as a feather. The guard seeing his approach opened the door to the King's bedchambers. "Thank you; you may join the others downstairs." Alistair instructed the young Knight. "Your Highness." The guard quietly closed the door behind them.   


~~*^*~~   
  
Alistair laid Deedolett down then proceeded to undress her, just to make her comfortable, taking her shoes off, he forgot he hadn't anything to change her into going over to the dresser and pulled one of his tunics for her to wear. 

He decided he better changed himself as well finding a loose fitting pair of trousers he slipped into those. He went over to the window letting in some cool summer air and blown out a few candles before returning to Deedolett to help her out of her gown. He sat her up and slid behind her leaning her against his broad muscled chest. He pulled the tunic over her head and undid the ties to her gown, pulling her arms through the armholes he gently laid her back down.  
  
She groaned slightly and turned on her side. He paused for a moment, trying not to wake her slid the gown down around her hips letting his fingers grace her silken skin. She moved her leg as he trailed his hand down her legs and around her calves, wishing he were the fabric that gets to hug her supple skin.   
Finally removing the garment without awakening her, he set the gown neatly on the chair near the dresser. Standing but a moment to allow himself to drink in her still form, he gazed a few moments more then walked over to the window, he could hear the sounds of the festivities continuing late into the night. He smiled his heart rejoiced, he was finally feeling the peace and the love he once had before, lost to his thoughts he sat in the plush nook he leaned against the windowsill breathing in the sweet summer night air again, lost in his thoughts. 

~~*^*~~   
  
Deedolett awakened to find herself in the dimly lit room in a tunic she knew she did not have on a few moments ago. She let her eyes adjust to the dark before looking around from her lying position, _ *This is not my room.* _ she sat up and looked around some, _ *Armor, swords, and Oh, those are the runes I gave him.* _ setting her eyes on Alistair's well toned back, as he continued to look out of the window. She slid off the bed, finding the soft rugs and furs beneath her bare feet she walked up to Alistair and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Your Highness?" She spoke softly then jumped back when he turned sharply.   
  
"Deedolett, you are up? I didn't mean to startle you." He watched her for a second, "You should be laying down, I am pretty sure that you are tired." he reached for her hand then pulled away quickly not wanting to run her off.   
  
"I will be fine, thank you. What were you looking at?" She walked over to the window to peer out.   
  
He watched with a small smile on his lips, the tunic was four times her size and hung off her lithe frame, it exposed some of her back and left shoulder few scars graced her skin from the fights they endured against the Darkspawn, otherwise smooth cinnamon skin he swallowed thickly clearing his throat, "You know you... you said yes, at least I would like to think you said... yes?"   
  
She turned to him with the moon in the background illuminating the beautiful star filled sky. The moon shining behind her created a bluish white halo around her. "I -." She nodded biting her lower lip "I remember that. I also remember you saying some very hurtful things too." She held her head high trying to hide the confusion she is dealing with like indifference.  
  
Alistair noticed that she was fidgeting slightly. "Come here." he pulled her into his arms kissing her forehead, nose and lips, whispering, 'I love yous', with every kiss. 

"I am sorry for everything, I honestly never meant to hurt you." he looked lovingly into her eyes.   
  
"I forgive you… but I do not know if I will forget." She placed a hand on his cheek rubbing his jaw before pressing her lips against his, his tongue tickled her upper lip, inviting her tongue to play with his. Her arms went around his neck, his hands slid up and down her back slowly, feeling her tight body, and squeezing her firm behind.   
They moaned in each other's breaths, breathless they broke their kiss, she looked at him boring into his soul he saw all the love she has for him and him alone. She was his and he hers. He swept her gently setting her to straddle his lap.   
  
Slipping his large rough hands under the tunic he felt her soft skin of her back, kissing her lovingly kneading her flesh. “I will apologize however many times you need. Whatever is mine is also yours, just be with and me alone.” Alistair murmured against her neck trailing kisses, to her jaw hot and breathy which causes her to shiver. Her need of him was great her body reacting to his grip, his breath, his plea, “Please, say you are mine.” His tongue flicked her earlobe his hot breath hotter than the fever of their flesh.   
  
“Your Majesty.” She felt his growing erection pressing against her center as they sat, her body wanting him more than ever, “I do not know.” A sharp intake of her breath when he reached and pinched her chocolate point, pulling her down to rub against their clothed parts, his erection straining, herself damp with want, soaking her smalls.

“Again,” Slipping his hand lower between her legs between them, “Your body says otherwise.” Rubbing her through her smalls, caused her to moan softly filling his ears with her sweet passion song as she gripped his shoulders, her thighs trembling. “I need you vhenan.” He continued to rub her overly sensitive flesh, as he rubbed her hips rocked into him his hand and his growing shaft. 

Mewling noises escaped her lips, she placed her forehead to his, sweat beading, breathing erratic fanning his face, she was peaking, with just this intimate touch. Alistair watched her, if he can submit her with just this, her back was slick as well as her heated core, she rocked into him, causing him to grunt in response, he removed his hand and pressed her harder to him leaning back his head on the sill, the sounds of the night drowned out by the both of them in their moment.   
Against the moonlight the top she wore slipped her shoulders, she was glowing, she wanted him now, confused still with the rampant emotions that built. Thoughts of their past and possible future, she rocked against him, he bucked to meet her, his chest slippery with sweat, the cool night air sweeping over them both.   
  
Deedolett gasped, her legs quivering, her tummy tightening, he was bringing her to completion, unwilling to not feel her flesh to his he hooked his fingers onto the wet cloth covering her lower half and tore it from her body, bucking her up he slid his trousers down freeing himself a muscled arm around her waist pulling her close to meet his lips, kissing her fervently, slipping his hand once more between them, he helped guide himself into her, and with a hiss, his mind fogged.   
This is what he had wanted to be buried in her love, to feel her around him completely, “Vhenan, you feel wonderful.” White hot blinded her when he entered her, a strangled cry tried to escape, throwing her head back he slipped further into her, a gasp she gripped his arms steadying herself.   
  
“Maker.” She gasped, bracing herself she could barely concentrate her legs quivered as she felt so full of him. 

Alistair bucked up in one powerful thrust, “I am your King, you will be my Queen.” lifting her, she wrapped her legs around him but was no need he held her in place as if she weighed nothing more than a sack of sugar. A few steps to the bed, placing her on its edge never taking his eyes off her.   
He lay between her legs with his head cocked to the side, “You are a vision.” Deedolett gripped his wrist that held her still, his slow tortuous rocking quickened her breathing, she could feel every inch of him pulsing inside her, "My love you are beyond beautiful, look at me." He never tore his gaze from her face. For her part Deedolett felt lulled, she met his amber heat with her liquid sea eyes, he leaned forward kissing her once again on her full lips.   
  
Alistair rocked in her, so slow, so painfully slow, she squirmed to move him faster, her need building, it was maddening, this was deliberate he knew what he was doing to her, and it was her punishment. For Teagan, for Anders, for letting another man touch, or look too long in her direction.   
“Majesty, please.” She mewed, her hands tightened around his wrist, he shook her free, she moaned her walls tightening around him, he hissed he placed his hands on her hips, kneading the supple slick flesh, he pressed further into her, she cried out once more.   
  
His muscles tightened and his will slipping within her, “My love, my only love.” He pulled out and slid back in achingly slow.   
  
Deedolett whined writhing beneath him, digging her heels into his behind to spur him faster, “Please Your majesty.” She breathed beneath him, with a shake of his sandy blonde head, she slid almost out of her again, and just as agonizingly back into her. She gasped, and whined, it was as she could feel every vein. With her legs around him, his hands were free to slide up her body pulling the tunic up, bound her hands above her head, with one hand holding her tight, his free hand began to teasingly play her with the sensitive nipple the sudden shock wave of pleasure this gave her sent chill bumps all over her skin like being struck by lightning.

Alistair worked the left nipple of one breast while gently squeezing and massaging the other. She arched her back, she was getting very impatient as he worked her body with his massages and kisses she moaned, "Maker..." she called in harsh whispers biting her lower lip while rubbing her leg up and down his side.   
After working her beautiful breasts, he shifted his Deedolett let out a short passionate moan arching her back, he kissed his way up to her neck before biting her, hard enough to feel, the reaction he had gotten from the amount of pressure he applied, Deedolett enjoyed it, bucking against him, her sweet spot rubbing in a way she panted eagerly wanting more.   
  
"My name is not Maker." He trailed the length of her neck to nibble her nipple and flicked his tongue over it quickly, "When I am finished with you, you are going to wish I was." He mumbled into her skin as he kissed his way back up to her slender throat, feather light kisses had her arching her body as she moved like the ocean waves rolling under him. Her body was shivering from the periodic waves of small orgasms that had been building ready to explode like a new born star.  
  
Alistair was busy working her up into a tizzy, his mouth on the left breast, his left hand busy exploring her wet, hot center all the while massaging her right breast. He watched Deedolett's expression she was biting her lower lip heavy moaning, eyes never leaving his. "You want this?" he thrust faster feeling her tightening walls around him, massaging him with every push. 

Deedolett shuttered she was slowly coming off one mind boggling orgasm, moaning "Y-yes, p-please..."   
  
Sliding his hand between them, Alistair found the treasure that would send her over, he teased Deedolett's swollen clitoris with his thumb as he continued to stroke her molten center. She gasped "Oh. Maker..." several times as her body acted on its own accord once more. The light bucking of her hips as she continued to wriggle beneath him caused him to become more aroused than he thought possible as mind fogged over, closing his eyes, feeling her beneath him. Her body tingled after the numerous mini orgasms from his torturously slow pace.   
  
Leaving kisses along her neck to her ear, "What is it you wish of your King." he growled into her ear.   
  
"I want to pleasure you." Deedolett's voice was seductive, laced with lust she could feel him hard pressed against her slippery center.   
  
"As you wish." He pulled from her, and all the air left her body, she felt completely empty, he moved from over top of her and laid in the middle of the bed.   
  
Deedolett took a moment to catch her breath, pulling the tunic that bound her hands off she crawled up his six foot one inch frame to come face to face with him, kissing him once before she retreated, slid her breast down his tight ribbed stomach raking her nails down his chest.   
  
Finding him with her mouth, the mixture of her soft lips, tongue and warm breath sent his mind into a tailspin. It was hard to concentrate on not releasing just yet from his earlier performance. Pleasuring her was one thing, he would get satisfaction from her pleasure alone, but when he let her take control, it takes everything in him to hold back. Alistair’s hands went to her hair releasing the silken sable chignon out of its tight coil letting her hair fall over her shoulders, over his thighs her soft mane was cool against his skin, he gathered her hair to keep her locks out of her way of what she was happily occupied and currently engrossed in, so sensitive he could feel exactly what she was doing with his eyes closed. "Olett..." he growled, grunted, relaxing once again she was aiming to cause his release far sooner than he would like. 

This would not do, he grunted at the sight of her, his primal instincts to dominate and claim her again, taking a fist full of her sable locks pulling her to kiss her full swollen lips. “Get on your knees." A small look of displeasure flashed in her eyes, she crawled into her knees doing as told.  
Alistair placed his knees between hers, causing her to spread her legs further. He leaned forward kissing her spine, rubbing her hips and behind, Deedo shivered her in pleasure of his touch. She gasped, clutching the sheets in anticipation, moaning heavily as he rubbed against her sensitive skin. Alistair placed his member just inside of her slippery center and slowly, slid in pushing all of himself into her feeling every twitch, every tightening muscle of her walls as she grip around him. She purred in pleasure.   
  
"Mmmm, M-maker." she gasped, he didn't move, fearful of sudden release, the sensation was too great, he wasn't ready to climax just yet he let the waves wash over him before he slowly stroked her insides.   
  
"You are absolutely delicious." he grunted as he kissed her back he pulled out slowly, almost leaving her and then in one hard thrust caused her to cry in delight. Her back bowed, he was close to his release and was nowhere quite finished with her just yet.   
Throaty gasps and moans as he pressed harder into her, almost leaving her and returning one hard thrust after another caused her to cry once more. The thought of dominating completely set a lustful grin on his lips as he nipped her back. He thrust again, "My name, Olett, say it." he grunted deep from his throat. His arousal was spreading her more, but the feeling was both pleasurable and painful, she was relishing in it.   
  
"You, this feels..." she gasped as another wave rendering her unable to speak. 

  
"My, name..." he thrust again, * _ I'm not going to be able to keep this up.* _ his thoughts raced, trying to concentrate _not_ on the pleasing sensation her tight flower was giving him. She moaned, he pulled her hair, she chuckled lightly threw pleasured gasps.   
  
"Say it!" He thrust harder, grabbing her waist tight he began to pound her, thrust after thrust causing her to chant anything but his name. Deedolett bit her lip trying not to cave in, he felt positively amazing and his dominance was thrilling making her slicker than ever and she wanted it to continue he was hitting that one spot and before she knew it... "Alistair!" she finally gave in to his lust driven whim.   
They simultaneously released, he smiled with satisfaction kissing her slick back. He exited her and moved her to lie on her back.   
  
"I didn't hurt you did I?" Panting as he lay between her legs with his head between her shoulders as she lay on her stomach, she caught her breath waiting for her heart to slow its pace. He shifted removing his weight for her and lay on his back weak with their lovemaking.   
  
"No you did not." she smiled as she felt her breath return, rubbing her hands over his damp chest and rippled abdomen. He turned onto his side looking lovely face kissing her lightly he licked her lower lip as she allowed his tongue into her mouth. Breaking from their passionate kiss, he wiped strands of damp hair clinging off her face kissing her forehead.   
Once he acknowledged she was well, he pulled her body closer to his. "I love you, to no end my lady." he kissed the top of her head, she was snoring softly as she used his muscled arm as a pillow. _ *Oh, I'll give her the ring in the morning.* _ he listened to her breathe as she slept, he smiled pulling her even closer.   
  
"My love, I will never let you go again." He whispered into her ear, she sighed, Alistair chuckled letting her euphonious breathing lull him into a peaceful slumber. 


	20. The First Rule of Love is Trust, Part 1

The morning after Summerday. The two lovers woke sometime during the middle of the night, lingering in bed enjoying the sensation of being in each other's arms once more. "I have one request." Deedolett made circles on his bare chest with her elegant finger.    
  
"Anything, just name it." Alistair rubbed her shoulder as he rested his cheek on the top of her head.    
  
Shifting positions so she could look him in the eye "Do not hurt me again, I will not come back again." She was serious, and he knew it.    
  
"You have my word." Alistair looked her in the eye, he meant it but she also heard it before. With a soft reassuring smile she laid back where she had been and continued to pet his smooth skin, they laid and dozed off listening to the old owl outside the window.    
  


~~*^*~~    
  


Deedolett stood on the steps of the Gallows leading into the city the sea at her back spraying her with its warm droplets wetting her now waterfall straight hair. She looked up to see the huge bronze statues foreboding and looming overhead, you could almost hear the anguished cries coming from their open mouths and see tears long since dried leaving oxidized trails down their cheeks.    
With a heavy sigh, she ascended the steps, her own tears dried and forgotten. Dressed in common clothing she made her way from the harbor to the markets of Hightown to the Viscount's Keep.    
  
"Could I interest you in a necklace once said to belong to the Hero of Ferelden?" a merchant held up a necklace to show off, to passersby. Deedolett lowered her head shielding her face and frowned slightly, the title was like a knife to her heart, shaking her head free from the thought she spotted a Templar asking for directions.    
  
"Pardon me Ser, is this where I may find the Viscount?" Deedolett looked up the long white steps.    
  
"It is, but I am sorry to say that there is no Viscount presently." The young man, looked down at the elven woman, taking in her form, Deedolett turned her eyes to the Templar confused.    
  
"Has something happened, I apologize is there someone of high authority I can speak with?" Her Aqua eyes twinkling in the sunlight.   
  
"Yes, you can speak with the Knight Commander or the Champion of Kirkwall." He grinned slightly.    
  
"Excuse me for being so forward but would you be willing to have lunch with me, I can take you to the Knight Commander, my shift change is up soon." Deedolett smirked,  _ 'Templars... no men!'  _ I would like any help it will be welcomed thank you."    
  
"The name is Brann by the way, yours?" he smiled brightly before looking around for his fellow Templar for his break.    
  
"Aqua."

"That is a unique name, no doubt for those lovely eyes."    
  
'_Gah_ _ _,_ I think I shall lose the lunch I have yet to eat.'  _ Deedolett smiled up at the man and pointed over near a bench in the shade.    
  


~~*^*~~   
  
About fifteen minutes later Brann made his way over to escort her over to the Templar's Hall. He chatted with her along the way trying to gain her favor Deedolett listened to his story of how he came to Kirkwall, and how he joined with the Templar's during the rebellion of the former Senior Enchanter and the former Knight Commander.   
  
"I did not hear anything of the sort." She contemplated for a long while listening of the Kirkwall incident.   
  
"Oh, and what did you hear then?" Brann was more interested in his companion and wondered why none of his charm that worked before with his former conquests is far from affecting her.   


"I have been wandering mostly I admit I have not been caught up on the current news sorry." Mostly true as they continued through the sea of Fereldens still who sought refuge in the main hub of the FreeMarches.   


~~*^*~~    
  
The pair made it to the Templar Hall which was also was Kirkwall’s Circle - Brann spotted one of his brothers nearest the gate asking where the Knight Commander was currently.    
  
"He is over there with the younger recruits." The black-haired man looked past Brann and took notice of the elf behind him. "Hello, hello whom do we have here, the names Phobos yours?" reaching for her hand in greeting when Brann stepped between the two giving him a look halting the man in his tracks.    
  
"Her name is Aqua, and she far from interested." Brann taking Deedolett by her elbow and walked her over towards the Knight Commander.    
  
Phobos calling after his friend, “Always the first bite with you.”    
  
Waving a hand in dismal Brann hurried on, "Excuse me Knight Commander, there is someone here needing to speak with you." Brann pulled Deedolett forward to stand in front of him.    
  
The Knight Commander turned to face Brann with a nod and excused the boy he was previously speaking with, he looked down at the elven woman, and his eyebrows knitted. ' _ I must be seeing things. _ ' How may I help you, miss?" Deedolett raised her eyes to him.   
  
Staring at the man before her in shock, those unmistakable eyes, he cursed under his breath.    
  
" _ No _ , Cullen?" in a harsh whisper, she never expected to run into him of all people in her escape from Ferelden, her heart thundered chest tightened and she wanted to cry batting her ebony eyelashes fighting back the tears at the familiar face.    
  
Cullen looked into her eyes a second longer brows furrowed in question, "Dee-"    
  
Deedolett color rose quickly shushed him looking around and sighed, "Is there a place we can talk privately?"    
  
Visibly stiff, the Knight Commander all but made a wide berth around the elf and led her to his office. He could feel her behind him without looking back, when he felt cold against his back stopped looking behind she was indeed not there, seeing Deedolett speaking with Ser Brann, Cullen knew the young Templar had a way with women – something he himself would never do, but the way he was looking and speaking with Deedolett something in him warmed.    
Deedolett nodded to the young man and continued after Cullen, stopping to see he was not moving forward but standing there still, following his gaze she quickly looked back at Cullen.    
  
"Maker Cullen, he asked me to lunch, what has gotten into you?" Deedolett moved closer to Cullen and chilled his armor slightly, just enough so none of the other Templars took notice. Cullen stiffened once more and reddened just as quickly, the cool metal of his armor heated as he made his way to the office.   
  
Taking an offered seat Cullen sat at his desk opposite Deedolett and looked her over. Thinking that he had finally gotten the woman of his dreams and nightmares out of his system, she was here, sitting before him.    
  
With an exasperated sigh, "Why are you in Kirkwall and not Ferelden?" Cullen did not mean that to sound harsh but it was too late to take back the words that tumbled out of his mouth, putting gauntleted hands over his face. "I apologize I did not mean it sound that way." He laid his hands flat on the desk taking a deep breath.   
  
Deedolett looked at her hands as she tried to form the words that did not divulge much information, wringing them on her satchel bag strapped across her shoulder, "I'm lost."    
  


Cullen raised his head, eyebrows knitted, "Pardon me?"    
  
The curtain of soft light brown locks hid Deedolett's eyes when she looked up at him, red eyes tears dripping off her chin and nose the very tip reddened, the site of her in tears gripped his heart like a vise.    
  
"I'm lost...I ran away from Ferelden, I - I..." Deedolett's voice wavered as she began to shake while holding in her sobs.    
  
Cullen was at a loss, he just wanted her to stop crying, she was hurting and he knew not what to do. Cullen got up, stood in front of the elven woman, and reached for her several times before placing a hand on her shoulder, "T-there, there please..."    
  
Deedolett swiftly stood and wrapped her arms around his armored waist and cried harder, shaking uncontrollably. Cullen froze there was nothing he could do.   



	21. The First Rule of Love is Trust, Part 2

Sending Varel and Nathanial – As acting Arl and Warden-Commander back to Amaranthine, Deedolett spent an extra two month’s vacation in Denerim, finally living the dream she once had back in the Circle, to be a normal woman, elf or no. Alistair doted on her when he found the time and the evenings, as any time with his fiancée were quite agreeable.    
  
"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" Alistair smiled at her from across the small table as they had their dinner.    
  
"No sir, I do not believe you have... from this morning." Deedolett smiled back as she nibbled a piece of fruit seductively.    
  
"You are going to torment me with that lovely mouth of yours." He kissed her free hand.    
  
"I am quite sure. You do know I need to go back to the Keep yes?" Deedolett suddenly became serious.    
  
With a heavy exasperated sigh, Alistair sat back in his seat and looked downhearted, "I do not want you to go back, you are to be my wife, you do not need to go back to Amaranthine, besides you sent Howe back in your place." He stated matter of flatly. "Yes, this is true but I am still..." Alistair hit his fist on the table, startling Deedolett.    
  
"No, you are to remain here. Now no more talk of leaving." They continued to eat the remainder of their meal in quiet.   


~~*^*~~    
  
A week had gone by with Deedolett sending a missive over to Vigils Keep,    
  
_ 'My Dearest friend Nathanial, I am sending this short missive to inform you I will be held in Denerim for a time. I will try to get back to Amaranthine as quickly as possible. I miss you all so much and I hope you are enjoying the position of Arl you may have it longer than this – as I still have not received word from the Chantry. _ _   
_ _ _

_ Send everyone word that all is well and I miss them all, especially Marah's cooking.  _ __   
__   
_ Deedolett'  _ __   
__   
Folding the missive, she looked for her wax and found she was out, "Alistair will have some." She left her chambers and headed to the East Wing of the castle. A brief knock on the door she entered, "I am all... out... of..." Alistair raised head and paled, the girl that was in front of him turned to see who entered.    
  
"You must be here to clean the rubbish, yes?"    
  
"Wha... Oh, yes. Pardon my intrusion, not normally others are here when I clean." Deedolett gave a quick grin. As she went to take a step, her knees almost gave, finding herself trembling with each step.    
  
Deedolett was hiding it well. She put her hands behind her back and slipped off the engagement ring. Reaching the desk where they stood she knelt down and pick the rubbish bin and gathered random papers from the floor. The Jade-eyed red-haired woman that kept a hand on Alistair's chest complimented the fact that Deedolett was such a good servant – the girl obviously did not recognize the elven woman. Deedolett's heart sank,  __ 'How long has this been going on around me?'  she wondered as her heart began to pound in her chest and tears began to burn her eyes.  
  
Deedolett stood with the bin in hand and smiled at the pair, "If you pardon me, but I must say you two look like a beautiful couple." And she bowed and headed to the door. "Oh, I apologize, this I found outside in the hall while I was cleaning. Does this belong to you my lady?" Deedolett held the ring in the palm of her hand pushing it in front of the tall human woman before her.    
Once the ring was out of her hand, Alistair made a move to go after Deedolett he needed to explain. The door closed with a sickening click, he closed his eyes and turned back to the woman in his study.   


~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett had calmed and took a seat apologizing to her friend – she omitted who the man was that tore her heart once more. Cullen had listened and wondered how that man - any man for that matter could do something so deceitful to someone like Deedolett, the most honest caring person he knew.    
Cullen swallowed hard and looked over to his friend, her face was red eyes puffy, and deep purple circles nested under her eyes.  _ 'Engaged. What else has happened since last we spoke?'  _ He wanted to say as he looked at the defeated woman before him. "How long have you been gone from Denerim?"    
  
With a sniffle as she blotted her eyes, "I left in Justinian, it is now?" she looked up to see Cullen's eyes widen.    
  
"It is Haring, you have been gone for six months?" He gasped, "Is there anything that you will need while you are here." 

  
"No one finds out  _ I am  _ here. I made a mistake, I was blinded by my heart please I wish no one to know I am here, I cannot go back to Ferelden. Please." Deedolett pleaded with the man before her searching his eyes for help she so desperately needs.    
  
Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose, ' _ You haunt me, you are the only person I wish to be with and away from.'  _ He looked into those Aqua eyes and crumbled, closing his eyes he nodded, "I will take you to Ser Hawke, he is a friend, come let us go."   
  
"Thank you, Cullen, I will make this up to you I promise." Deedolett placed her hands to her face and flashed a bit of cold over her. The puffy eyes and splotches along her nose and cheeks disappeared quickly. Leading her out of the office Brann was waiting for them when they reached the door to the courtyard.    
  
"Aqua, are you ready to go?" the eager young Templar greeted Deedolett the second he saw her. Cullen stepped next to Deedolett taking her by the elbow, "Ser Brann, I apologize but I need to escort  _ Aqua  _ to Ser Hawke's." Brann nodded modestly looking over at the elf woman for reassurance.    
  
"I apologize Brann but I will try to make it a dinner if you are available." With a pleasant smile, she nodded to the young man and left with Cullen guiding her to the main gate. Out of the sights of the other Templar’s, "Be wary of Ser Brann, he has a reputation with the young ladies."    
  
"Worry not." Deedolett said with a smile, "He could not make me blush."    
  


~~*^*~~    
  
Deedolett was led back towards Hightown, she found herself seated in the foyer of the Hawke estate. "De...Aqua, please come this way." Cullen caught himself before he slipped – as he called from the archway. She stepped into the main hall which was warm and inviting. Ser Hawke stood speaking with a blonde man in black and a man with an exquisite bow strapped to his back, they all turned to greet her and the cat was soon out of the bag.    
"Deedolett?" the blonde man asked soon as she came close enough.   
  
"Anders?" Deedolett placed her bag down and rushed into her friend’s arms. Once more going over the story of why she was there, and once again omitting whom she was seeing, Ander's knew and thankfully said nothing – especially when he looked over at Cullen's expression. "So now that you know who I am, can I trust that you will do well to keep my identity secret?" Deedolett asked when she had finished her tale.    
  
Hawke smiled and was more than happy to share his home with one such as her, "You are a guest within these walls for as long as you need." Deedolett gave a grateful smile, "I thank you Ser I will try not to be a bother." Hawke just looked at her and laughed a deep belly laugh, "You are a strange woman, come let us go for dinner."   


No sooner than the word dinner mentioned, both Anders and Deedolett's stomached agreed. Cullen watched quietly,  _ 'If things were different.'  _ Deedolett smiled in his direction, Cullen smiled back nervously.    
  
"Will you come with us?" Olett offered with a warm smile.    
  
"I am afraid, t –that I will have... to decline, I h-have duties." He chuckled, "Maybe another day, I am do a little off time and we can maybe... then?" Cullen bowed turning on heel and left briskly. Anders excused himself and went after Cullen,    
  
"Cullen, damnit mate all these years and you still run from her. Chalk it up and have a go with her, if you knew what she has been through... Look she is one of my best friends, she needs  _ you  _ now." Cullen looked at the man who she ran to collapsing again, as she told of the men who betrayed her, clearing his throat he turned once more with a slight nod and headed back to the Templar Hall.    
  
_ "If things were different, meaning if I was no longer a Templar."  _ Cullen finally said as he closed the door to his office.   


~~*^*~~    
  
Alistair was at his wit's end, he could not find her, even the horse he brought her for her birthday was gone. He had a search sent after the first initial sweep of every place within Denerim, castle and city were made. They fanned out to the towns that surrounded, and then the villages. Alistair had the Korcari Wilds combed along with the Brecilian forest, lingering Darkspawn but no sign of Deedolett.    
He sent guards to scour Amaranthine, nothing. Going to Vigils Keep turned out hopeful, her horse – Pitch- was there but the Arlessa was not. A word from Redcliffe came back sightless. Alistair had a suspicion that she may have hidden away within the confines of the Circle, but that too was for naught and to make it worse the Templar who they had met before – the one who broke Deedolett's heart was no longer there. Now he sits before a small army, furious and hurt he is determined to find Deedolett, even if it cost everything he has in the royal treasury, he will find his better half.    
  
"We still have no word or sightings of the Arlessa." Captain Kylon announced to the King sadly.    
  
"Find if any Templar were dismissed from Kinloch outside of Ferelden, importantly Templar Cullen." Alistair growled an irritated sigh, a weary sigh as he stood and waved Captain Kylon off.    
  
"You heard the King, dismissed!" The whole room cleared out and the search went from the Arlessa to the a Templar named Cullen. 


	22. I Shall be Your Protection.

The week past by and any news from Orlais turned up for nothing, another week and the same, ‘ _ But there is always good news to be had soon, yes?’  _ Alistair pondered while he eats his breakfast when a young Ferelden guard burst through the door and dropped to his knee.

“Your Majesty we have news, the Templar named Cullen had been stationed in Kirkwall, he has been made Knight Commander since Meredith’s incident.”

His personal guard rushed to tell the king the news that just arrived from the ship docked in the harbor, the courier who has been sent to Kirkwall passed the information on as soon as it reached her ears.

Alistair tossed a few sovereigns over to the guard that had given him the good news he so desperately sought.

“Eamon, I am leaving for Kirkwall at once, Teagan accompany me once more. Ready my things we leave without delay.” Alistair stalked through the palace shouting at all the servants to ready his things as quickly as possible.

The whole palace was scurrying about preparing for Alistair’s departure in a few short hours. Once things were made ready Alistair, Teagan, and Tengu set out for the harbor to board the fastest ship bound for Kirkwall, it would still be another few weeks before he could meet with _that _Templar, to question the whereabouts of _his _Deedolett.  
  
  
~~*^*~~  
  


Deedolett browsed the market for wares and stopped before a stall that sold fabrics from Orlais, a beautiful burgundy fabric caught her eye, she reached long fingers to touch the silken material.

“You fancy this one, Miss? One sovereign per two yards makes a pretty dress from this, it would look wonderful against your skin.” The elderly woman smiled as she measured the rich wine colored fabric, Deedolett smiled and paid the woman.

“Now I need to ask Lineatus if I can hold a party for Funalis.” Turning bidding the old woman farewell she proceeded back to the Hawke estate, stopping at another stall something caught her eye.

Cullen spotted her amongst the others, making his way over to where she stood he grabbed her elbow stopping her from taking another step. Leaning to whisper in her ear, he could smell the sweet scent of lavender and mint in her hair almost so distracting it was, he forced his thoughts away.

“Come with me quickly, there is someone here to see you.”

Deedolett looked at him from the corner of her eye, “Who is here, no one knows I am even here.” Deedolett started to panic, Cullen rubbed his thumb against her arm for comfort – a brave move on his part, but he led her to the Templar’s Hall.

They walked briskly in silence once they arrived in the hall, making their way to Cullen’s office Deedolett waved to greet the other templars that trained in the courtyard.

Coming to the oaken door Cullen allowed her to walk through first, seated at the desk with their back to the door was a cloaked figure, hearing the door close the person stood and turned around removing their hood at the same time.

Deedolett was shocked a small smile tugged the corners of her mouth and tears trickled joyously down her cheeks, she was encased in a tight hug.

“Maker my dear girl you are safe.”

“Wynne what are you… how did you know I was here? I told no one where I was heading.” Deedolett held the elder mage.

Cullen quietly excused himself as he closed the door to allow the women some privacy. “That is not important, what is important is Alistair is looking for you, he has searched for you since you left.” Wynne rubbed the mage’s shoulders, happy to see that the young woman was well and safe.  
  
  
~~*^*~~  
  


“I do not understand?” Deedolett searched her friend's face but grew more confused by the second, “Why is his highness looking for me… he has someone, a nice human woman.” Deedolett pulled away from Wynne hurt.

“What are you talking about?” Now it was Wynne’s turn to be confused.

Deedolett sighed and gestured to a seat near the desk, Deedolett took the other after placing her parcel on the desk they sat near. “I left because he was _ cuddled _ in the study with some  _ woman _ . She thought I was a servant and Alistair said  _ nothing _ to stop her.” She hissed through gritted teeth.

Cullen heard what the two magi said – against his better judgment, now he had a name to go with who hurt her, “Alistair, King Alistair?” Cullen murmured softly, he frowned as he looked to the door he reached for the handle and thought better of it someone drew his attention, he looked to the door then made his way to handle the present issue.

Deedolett continued once again what she saw that day six months ago, Wynne comforted her best she could, “You are more stubborn than that Tengu of yours.” Wynne sighed with a tired smile, “When we could not find you, I took it upon myself to visit Warden Howe. He told me you had come to the Keep hugged everyone, packed some things and left shortly after.” Wynne took Deedolett’s hands and gave them a tight squeeze, “Howe followed you, he had been worried about you, and we all have and do care deeply for you. You cannot just fly off the spoon the way you do, my dear listen whatever went on was probably a simple misunderstanding.”

Deedolett looked incredulously over to her surrogate grandmother, “How can you say this, you have never been called a servant to your face! He did nothing to defend me, he let that...  _ woman, _ his  _ tart  _ speak to me that way, which is not love!”

Deedolett stormed out of the office, Wynne clutched her chest, and sighed, “That girl is as stubborn as they come.” The elder mage rose from her seat and headed out of the door Deedolett left open.

Cullen rushed back to his office he found Wynne just stepping past the threshold, “What happen, is she well?”

Wynn’s brow furrowed, “Not my place to tell, go speak with her she is your friend, yes?” Wynne looked hopefully to Cullen she knew they had been friends during their time in the tower.  
  
  
~~*^*~~   
  


Just a few moments before as Deedolett ran from the office, furious she had run thinking she breezed past Cullen who was coming back to see if the women were finished, hit her left shoulder soundly against the breastplate, stumbling as she gripped her wounded shoulder Cullen caught her from falling on the hard stone.

“Are you alright?” Cullen’s voice laced with genuine concern.

“Leave me be, let me alone!” Deedolett growled as she tried to get away, her hair covering her face, she raised her eyes when he did not promptly remove himself she grasped his gauntleted hand and chilled it enough to make him release her.

The wind blew hard as Deedolett raised her eyes her hair blowing gracefully behind her. Her eyes were full of hurt and anger. Deedolett once more took off out of the gate her hand pressed against her shoulder. Wynne watched Deedolett take off once more from the hall.  
  
  
~~*^**~~  
  


A few days past and Deedolett received permission to hold a Funalis party, Deedolett did this more so to clear her mind, she now had Wynne to keep her company but the older mage did not understand.

Alistair had once denounced their love and bullied others – as well as her to be with each other again, this time he played her for the fool while he claimed he loved her solely, had one when he thought she would be ignorant enough to not take notice. “That man has grown a nasty temper. I cannot continue to love him but if he cannot control his temper… I doubt he loves me, gah I am but the fool.” Deedolett angrily mused to herself.

Wynne and she were sitting in a vacant area of the Templar Hall, Wynne sat reading a book on the stone bench nearest the door. Deedolett stood in the center of the room looking to the sky, the sun was bright and cheery, but she was not. Her mind a mess she watched a lone dark cloud breeze it's way lazily across the sky.  _ ‘Anger, pain, rage this would be the fuel for this dance.’ _ She began to move, she snaked her arms leaning back slowly.

Cullen walked in with Anders, Hawke, and Isabella. All the men stopped as soon as they entered the hall, Deedolett was livid, Anders and Cullen could tell. Anders looked over to Wynne – she just shrugged. Each taking a seat watched on as she spun, she made small circles with her waist and extended a leg and shook her hip, the fabric moved in time with her, mesmerized. Deedolett gracefully tumbled around the wide room, clapping and stomping this was one of the few times she did not use her powers during practice.

“Wynne, why is she so upset?” Anders asked as he watched her heated movements, her face tight in concentration.

“Alistair hurt her again she is showing what she feels.” Wynne stated never taking her eyes from the book she was reading.

Hawke knew her just as the “Hero of Ferelden” he raised a curious eyebrow to what the older woman just said.

Anders caught sight of his friends' confusion, “I’ll explain later, it's almost like something Varric can put out.” The blonde mage chuckled slightly, all the while he knew how the King had been, his hate of Templars already caused trouble for him, witnessing that man dispelling her of her magic that one time, Olett was too good of a friend to have had that happen “ _ I will help her as she myself” _ .

Isabella tagged along to see if Deedolett was faring better, they ran into each other the day when Wynne arrived, as she keeps her ear to the ground – from prying information as to what the elf mage is doing in a place such as Kirkwall, found a bit of information she had to pass along. “Cullen my dear, word has reached my ear that you are being sought after by the King of Ferelden himself.” Isabella smirked.

“What do you mean the King is looking for Cullen?” A breathless Deedolett went and took a seat next to Anders.

“Just what I said, apparently the King is seeking him, an acquaintance of mine left for Ferelden not too long ago. The King is on his way to Kirkwall as we speak.” Isabella thumbed in Cullen’s direction grinning ear to ear.

Deedolett raised an eyebrow, “If anything should happen to you come and seek me, I have a few words to say to his Majesty.” Deedolett rose from her seat, everyone followed suit.

Deedolett’s features softened, “We are going to the Hanged Man care to join us if you wish.” 

Cullen shook his head no, “I can try to meet with you another time.” He watched as the others filed out of the door, “Deedolett a word please?”

Deedolett stopped and faced her friend once more, “Yes?” Looking to see the other filing out.  
  
  
~~*^*~~  
  


Cullen had milled over this for the past three weeks - he was happy for her and having her around again was a great feeling, but his will was slowly wearing being alone with her was grating, Anders had been right Deedolett had needed him he would still care for her wellbeing. She apologized with honey-cake the day after she stormed from the hall.

They have had lunches and she came by when he was not so busy to help ease most of the tensions between her mage kind and the Templars, they talked every evening before he went to bed, his mind clouded, questioning his duty to the Maker not having lost his feelings for her. She is one of his truest friends. “I just wanted to say it has been nice to spend time with you… a-a-and the o-others as well, Maker.” Cullen sighed rubbing the back of his neck.

Deedolett tilted her head to the side with an amused grin on her face, “As always, what brought this on?”

Cullen looked into her eyes then slowly looked at the door over her head “Your fiancée is King Alistair yes?” he swallowed hard. Deedolett’s eyes darkened, Cullen nodded as he continued, “If it were I in his position, I could only imagine his reasons for speaking with me.”   
Cullen nervously reached for the delicate gold chain exposed for all to see, Deedolett automatically lifted the fine rope chain, the crystal charm dangled sparkling in the afternoon light.

Deedolett felt her throat tighten, she closed her eyes – they started to feel moist, “If things were different… right Cullen, maybe another life?” The elf whispered as she slipped the necklace off dangling it between them faint smile play on her lips.

Cullen glanced down, he reached his gauntleted hand out that covered hers, taking the only thing that connected them, aside from memories, Deedolett smiled brightly as she turned, “I will want that back, friend, I am just letting you borrow it.” Wiping a tear from her eye as she left hurrying after the others.


	23. Jealousy Had Brought the Truth.

They spoke little to each other as the week passed, Cullen and Deedolett the occasional good day and good night as they passed each other. It was high noon the day of Funalis, Deedolett had practiced every day in the vacant room Cullen allowed her to use. Deedolett stood near the fireplace of the estate “One, two, three, four, and five. Good, they are all here.” She went to the door seeing Lineatus Hawke just outside. “Lineatus can you be a love and help me put those outside?” Deedolett pointed to the five large fire bowls, as she was planning on using them tonight for the party, she was going to treat everyone to the new dance she had been working on.

Wynne came from the small library in the Hawke estate carrying the costume Deedolett planned on wearing that evening,  “You still have to try this on.” The older mage waved the fabric in her hand.  
“I will g-give me a m- m- moment…” Deedolett ground out as she was busy trying to carry the heavy bowl without dropping it on her foot.

Lineatus easily took it from her going to grab another, “You dress, leave this to me. Oh, the King’s ship is preparing to dock.” He did not hear Deedolett answer him.

“I said the King’s ship….” He said once more a little louder.

“I heard you the first time. What would you like me to say? ‘ _ Oh please take me to him _ .” Deedolett rolled her eyes and took the costume from Wynne heading to the library for the final fitting.

“Wynne is right, you are as stubborn as a Mabari.” Lineatus grunted carrying the hefty load out.

“I heard that!” Deedolett shouted back, Lineatus smiled as he exited the door.   
  


~~*^*~~   
  


“We will be docking shortly your Majesty it should not be much longer now.” Teagan brought word from the ship’s captain. Teagan watched as Alistair patted the top of Tengu’s head.

“Tengu, when we dock I need you to see if you can find Deedolett.” He looked up at Teagan with a slight nod he readied himself to depart.

Tengu bound out of the cabin and took off like a streak of lightning. He jumped off the ship into the water and paddled over to the stairs. Once on land, he shook the water from his short fur, raising his muzzle to the sky he sniffed, catching something on the wind he trotted off.   
  


~~*^*~~   
  


Cullen sat at his desk, the news of the King’s ship approach came to him a little earlier, and he was busy preparing himself for whatever was to be said on this day. He had a clue as to what could be discussed, Deedolett.

He lowered his eyes to the necklace as it lay on his desk, the same necklace that had once been worn by the elven mage that will not escape his thoughts.

“No, I shall not have these thoughts. No more!” He shook his rust colored head, praying for strength he rose from his seat set to make his way to Hightown.   
  


~~*^*~~   
  


Tengu had searched several spots well before the ship dropped anchor. First, he found himself near a huge tree sniffing around he spotted some children, played for a few and took off with the children in tow. Once the children realize the large mabari was no longer playing with them they all headed back to the Alienage and Tengu caught sent of someone who smelled like his mistress. Rushing over to the scent he stopped in front of a light haired man dressed in dark cloth.

A quick bark alerted the man and he stopped to kneel down.

“Well, what are you doing away from the estate? Hawke must be looking for you, come on.” Tengu cocked his head to the side, yipped and followed the man who smelled of his mistress.   
  


~~*^*~~   
  


When Alistair stepped off the ship, he was instructed to head to the Viscount’s Keep by the city guard. Alistair was greeted by the native Fereldens who still had not returned from the Blight along the way – as he was surrounded by five of the guard that led him to the Keep.

“These people still have yet to find a Viscount?” Alistair asked as he nodded to those who knelt at his presents and waved to those who smiled back, all the while going over what he will say to Cullen.

“No, Knight Commander Cullen and Guard Captain Aveline Vallen have been keeping the peace since the rebellion,” Teagan spoke as he and Alistair walked through the city.   
  


~~*^*~~   
  


“Olett, where are you!” Anders called as he walked in he entered the estate. He stopped when Tengu took off in the direction of the library with a loud bark.

“Tengu, what in Maker's name are you doing here!” Deedolett shouted with laughter in her voice.

“Tengu, isn’t this Raven?” Anders asked as he entered the same room Tengu entered just a second ago.

Deedolett shook her head as she scratched her furry friend behind his ears, “Where did you find him?” She looked up at Anders who shrugged.

“He found me as I was coming to see you. The ship docked let us go” Anders grabbed her wrist and the three left for the Viscount’s Keep.   
  


~~*^*~~   
  


Cullen stood nervously waiting for the King he started to pray for strength once again. His wait was not long King Alistair entered – the people briskly walking to the railings to get a look at the King as he entered. Alistair smiled, nodded, and waved as he climbed the stairs, “Your Majesty may I present to you, Knight Commander Cullen.” The guard who had escorted him announced once they stood face to face.

The smile that was once on the face of the king vanished slowly as he looked at the Templar, “Knight Commander… Cullen.” Alistair’s voice held a hint of disdain he nodded slightly with his hands clenched into tight behind his back.

“You’re Majesty.” Cullen knelt before him. He looked at the ground, the same man he saw with Deedolett when he was trapped in that cage, the same man he saw when he spoke of his infatuation and - those hateful words, comfort her after he refused her help.

“You may rise, I have come seeking information, may we speak privately?” Alistair stood straight, his voice inflecting accusation.

Cullen stood, “Of course, Majesty.” Cullen led them to the previous Viscount’s office.   
  


~~*^*~~   
  


“You can stop dragging me Anders, I can perfectly walk well on my own, also I am the one trying  _ not _ to be found, remember?” Deedolett stopped walking to fix her head covering. A form fitting tunic of Hyssop blue, with fitted black trousers with tight black and blue boots to match.

“Because I want to watch the fur fly, so to speak. I dislike templars but Cullen does not deserve whatever punishment your King can conjure.” Anders stopped pulling as they got close to the Keep.

Pulling her hood lower over her eyes the three climbed the stairs, Deedolett was not ready to face Alistair but Anders was right, if he decided to take his anger out of Cullen she needed to be there – she promised she would.    
The Keep was crowded, the sound of a raised voice could be heard on the upper level as it echoed around the hall. “Maker, no..” Deedolett looked over to Anders, they excused themselves as they made way through the crowd, Aveline stood by the office pushing people back.

“Aveline, what is going on?” Anders asked with Deedolett right behind him, pulling her to stand in front of him, Teagan turned from the door catching a glimpse of Anders, then the small woman who stood in front of him.

Walking over to the trio he leaned down a little to get a look at the woman’s face, “Deedolett?”

Deedolett lifted her head her Aqua eyes sharp Teagan pulled her from the blonde man.

“Where in Maker's name have you been?” he pulled her in a tight hug, Anders and Aveline looked at each other and shrugged

“Why are you here Teagan?” Deedolett snapped, her body rigid as he held her.

“King Alistair came to speak with the Knight Commander, he has been searching for you for months now, when he heard the Knight Commander was here he...” Teagan gave a small smile, he was glad that she was safe.

She cut him off with a wave of her hand, “And just  _ what _ is the King doing in there to the Knight Commander?” Deedolett started for the door.

Opening the door she saw Cullen was holding his jaw, Alistair was looming over top of the Commander, “I will ask you once more, where – is – Deedolett?” Alistair growled out loudly.

Deedolett stood at the threshold of the door, casting a vicious glance to the others behind her, she slammed the door behind her, “Right here you bastard!”

Alistair’s head shot up, he smiled as he turned rushing to the elven woman, “Oh my love, where have you been?”

Deedolett raised a hand lit with fire, “You shall refrain from touching me, or so help me I will set you on fire.” She spat as she walked past him to attend to Cullen.

“Are you hurt?” she moved his hand to take a better look at his face, he was dripping blood from the corner of his mouth, and the side of his face was reddened as the swelling was starting to show.

She gasped lightly, her face winced in pain along with him, “I am about to cast, just hold still.” Deedolett laid a chilled hand on his face then cast a healing spell to stop the bleeding.

Alistair looked on with narrowed eyes, “Deedolett, why do you not love me?” Alistair whined getting angrier with each passing second she held a hand to the man she was assisting.

Her face twisted wanting nothing more than to punch Alistair, casting daggers from her eyes to the King, “I do love you, and that should change after what you did, it is just this!” She pointed at Cullen’s face, “You cannot, and will not go around doing this to get to me, You cannot bully your way to me it is not how it works!”

“I have spent months looking for you, I...I had to see you, I needed to explain what you saw that day.” He pleaded closing the distance then stopping short.

The elf woman shot him a second nasty warning glance, “Then explain I am listening, but first, could you tell me why you harmed my friend?”

Cullen placed his hand on hers ceasing her spell, “I told him he does not deserve you, and I love you.” Deedolett looked into his light amber eyes searching for any falsehood, there was none there Cullen was speaking the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might get drawn and quartered for this, but you know I love you all and I just want to let you know that... I was not me. Though I take responsibility for this I have to blame the music and Muses who planted the seed in my head.
> 
> I will get the newest chapter up as soon as I can.
> 
> I have found a few songs that describe each character in the story if your into that sort of thing. From the E.S Posthumus Collection...
> 
> 1) Deedo - Nara, Tikal (Anger), Cuzco, Ulaid (When she is sad)
> 
> 2) Alistair - Unstoppable (Anger), Arise (Deedo and Alistair), Harappa, Vishnu (On his search for Deedolett)
> 
> 3) Cullen - Ebla, Isfahan (Deedo and Cullen), Saint Matthew Passion (Sounds like it belongs in Castlevania SoTN), Pompeii (Anger)


	24. The Meaning of Red and Fire, Part 1

The meaning of red is…

Red is the warmest of all colors the positive side is that it associates with strength and abundant energy, the color of extroverts.

_ It is stimulating, lively, and very friendly _ \- Deedolett smiled at the templar, moving his hand she replaced hers back on his jaw cooling the pink area once more before it caused him pain - if any.

_ The negative side is that red can mean temper _ \- Alistair’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Cullen once again, saying he loved Deedolett while he had the nerve to touch her. Clenching his hand into a fist once more, he raised his hand to strike Cullen again.

_ It brings focus to the essence of life and living with an emphasis on survival _ \- Deedolett saw from the corner of her eye when Alistair lunged, she stepped in front of Cullen to protect him from being hit again.

_ Red is the color of blood, and as such has strong symbolism as life and vitality _ \- The force from the blow sent Deedolett landing hard onto Cullen’s breastplate then crumpled to the ground in front of him, a trickle of blood escaped the corner of her mouth.

_ It also can have a physical effect, increasing the rate of respiration, and raising blood pressure _ \- Cullen blinked in disbelief as he stared at the King he turned his eyes to Deedolett - as she was lying still, motionless at his knee. It grew hot the scene seemed so familiar, a different setting but the mage was lying at his feet.

Cullen’s hands shook as he reached for her, to check her Deedolett was still breathing. Cullen raised her head tilting it from side to side he then laid her down gently. Raising his head slowly to the King he stood, fist balled, heart pounding.

_ Even embarrassment _ – Alistair dropped to his knees, his mouth agape tears spilled from his eyes, he pulled Deedolett into his arms placing her head against his chest, murmuring his apologies, shaking her slightly to wake her.

_ Red is associated with fiery heat and warmth _ – Deedolett’s jaw was throbbing, she raised her hand to her face and instantly cooled it, she opened her eyes to see Alistair looking back at her, still apologizing.

Deedolett pulled herself from his strong arms that refused to let her go. Once she was standing on wobbly legs, Alistair looked up at her still shaking his head for her forgiveness. Cullen stood to watch a reaction that he never in his life thought he would see.

_ Alternatively, red means anger _ – Deedolett raised the King’s head and planted a kiss on his forehead, Cullen looked away disgusted then the sound of a hard slap that echoed in the room followed by a dull thud. He looked back and saw the flaming hand of the elven mage dwindling and the King holding his cheek and head.

Checking to see if Cullen’s jaw was well once more, she called over her shoulder addressing Alistair as he picked himself off the floor,

“You will be expected to show your face at our little Funalis gathering since you came all this way, I would hate for you to miss it.” The elf turned on her heel and walked out of the office as if nothing happened.

They both watched as she left, her hips swaying on their own accord, Cullen looked back at the King a very visible handprint on his face glowed brightly. Alistair looking to the Templar both with the same thought, Deedolett is sexy when she is angry -  __ Red is also the color of passion and lust.  
  


~~*^*~~   
  


Anders looked up as the door opened catching sight of a large red mark on her face, “What happened to you?” He rushed over to take a better look at the red imprint - Teagan was doing the same after the mage pointed out her injured face.

Deedolett winced a little when she held her head up, “Nothing, it should not affect the performance come tonight.” Deedolett smiled softly at her friend.

“It  _ is _ something and I won’t let you let  _ him _ get away with it!” Anders voice shifted as he started for the door, Tengu growling following right behind Anders.

“I  _ have _ taken care of it, now please we have things to attend to.” Deedolett gripped every bit of raw emotion she had, closing her eyes from a moment to calm herself she turned her focus on the Bann.

Looking over to the Arl – angry with him that he could not speak since to Alistair before it has gotten this far, she raised an elegant eyebrow with a please smirk tugging the corners of her seductive mouth, “Your King might need assistance. You as well as he are invited to the Funalis gathering this eve. See to it that his Highness does not have a  _ headache _ , though I doubt anything can harm that hard head of his.” The smile she gave could melt stone, Teagan felt his heartthrob as he looked into her eyes, she glanced over to the door then back at him.

Teagan turned to the door entered then quickly shut it behind him, finding Alistair rubbing the sting of his cheek and side of his head. Deedolett patted Tengu, confirmed with Aveline about this evening, and pulled Anders along with her out of the Keep.

Teagan hurried to the door behind him, upon opening the door seeing Alistair looking dumbfounded, the handprint subsiding slowly, “Alistair what did you do to her?” Teagan checked his nephew over with concern, then a short time later amusement, the older man gripped his sides, doubled over could hardly keep a decent composer, “I see what she meant now!”.

“What is so funny, you know what never mind, I know I deserved it!” Alistair threw his hands up, “Just because she defeated the Archdemon does not mean I am scared of her!” He tried not to look like a pouting child.

Teagan laughed harder, tears trickled from his eyes. Cullen stood by, he was furious that the King who claimed his love of Deedolett would be so blinded by jealousy to strike without thought. On the other hand, to even seek her forgiveness after what transpired between them.

“Your Highness, I guess I need to apologize as well… I brought your anger on myself I meant no harm, I know it was my doing. During the time she, you, and your companions purged the tower of the evil.” Cullen swallowed.

Alistair took in what the Knight Commander was saying, “I understand your feelings, at the time you were not yourself, Deedolett was brokenhearted… your words of hate towards the magi crippled her. Do you know she did not speak to me for a week after we left the Circle, she kept muttering about ‘damned templars.’ fighting back tears.” Alistair rubbed the back of his head sighing, “She did love you, she might still, she might hate me now for what I had done to you… to her… everything is a mess.” he put his face in his hands signing once more.

Cullen walked over and placed a comforting hand on the King’s shoulder, “I cannot be with her if I wanted to, I may love her solely as a friend, but my duty is to the Maker and his bride. Love like that from her would have come if things were different. She used to be my charge when we were in the Tower, I will still continue to fear for her well being if you will allow it.” Cullen bowed to Alistair and then to Teagan, he exited without another word.

“You are blessed by the Maker to have that woman Alistair, she will forgive you in time, and it seems she always will.” Teagan patted the King’s back and waited out in the main hall until Alistair made way to leave.   
  


~~*^*~~   
  


Night fell over the city of Kirkwall, a large gathering a people stood about laughing, chatting, dancing and listening to music that played through the night air. The only light was from the five fire bowls hung undisturbed in the center of the square.

All were in attendance Hawke stood near Sebastian and the King who talked about the lingering Darkspawn. After much amusement and feasting, five thick rolled rugs were laid on the stone ground. Hawke excused himself, Teagan took Hawke’s vacant spot.   
Isabela guarded Cullen along with Anders a short distance away, Aveline brought Donnic and Varric sat with Fenris as well as Merrill. Everyone forming a large semi circle around the dangling pots, Hawke reappeared with a large rug in his arms, gently he placed it on the ground.

Grabbing the edge of the thick rug he flicked it as it unrolled a figure came tumbling out in an outfit of gold, red, and orange. Looking down at the woman lying at his feet angry aqua eyes shone brightly from the flames of the fire.


	25. The Meaning of Red and Fire, Part 2

The light sound of the music thrummed around the crowd gathered, watching the exchange between the King and the woman at his feet. Dancing and giggling from a nearby building from several other women dressed in similar outfits of white flitted through the crowd; two stopped and helped the lead dancer to her feet.

The music cued Deedolett took her position, seductively slow towards the center of the fire-filled pots. Keeping eye contact with various people, suddenly the sound of the first drum broke their contact as she jerked her head back, her hair wildly following.

The others followed her movement halting their flirtatious dealings with the crowd.

Deedolett slowly raised her hands above her head as she slinked her arms wrist, waist and hips, the glow of the flames danced on her caramel complexion, as it glimmered golden in the firelight. Deedolett lowered her right arm to the crowd of people on her right, pulling their attention to her – she repeated the same on her left.

Satisfied she had their eyes on her, as the living flame she stepped from the center, the fire from the pots left its resting place to trail behind her, the sounds of several gasps wafted throughout the gathered persons. A smile pulled the corners of her mouth as she once more made eye contact with Alistair.

Snaking her arms as the ribbon like flames trailed closely behind, raising her arms above her head once more, then with a sudden jerk she doubled over, hunched she trailed the flame from her foot up – stopping at her left hip, the quick shimmied movement of her naked hips caught the attention of Cullen who slowly averted his eyes.

Alistair fought with determination to stay seated - the way she moved, the way she held his gaze aroused him more than anything did. He had not been able to hold her in his arms, he ached for her, as he had time to mull over his actions - from the time she came back to agree to be his once more.

He watched on as Deedolett glided the fire over her taut stomach, then her chest and arms, and finally her hair. As she raked her fingers through her mane, the streaks of fire coated her skin much as the lyrium imbued within the elven man she met named Fenris.

Several tendrils of her mane were alit created flaming highlights throughout her locks. Deedolett Sauntered off twirling, whipping her hair around as the embodiment of fire itself.

Dancing harsh and powerful movements, the look of determination etched in her delicate features, her heart pounded as she felt the drums thump within her chest, she felt anew, felt stronger. Deedolett danced her way to the center of the pots one more collecting new flames, with her head held high she sneered at Alistair challenging him with her piercing gaze.

‘ _ I had warned you did I not?’ _ Her eyes told the King,  _ ‘Cause me to hurt once more, and this will be your last of me.’  _ Deedolett’s body movements told him, as she clapped and stomped embers wafted towards the heavens, the other dancers bowed before her then began swaying in trance, reaching they raised their hands to the skies.

The flames from her body reached out, touched each of the dancer’s hands, the women tumbled in patterns on the ground in seamless fashion; whipping their hair about, arching backs and extending arms, legs and hands as ‘fire’ graced them.

The music rose as she sauntered over to her eldest friends Anders and then to Cullen, Deedolett made her way over to her newest friends, Hawke and Isabella, then to Merrill, Fenris and Varric, finally Aveline and Donnic along with several others who she knew among the throng of persons present.

Teasing them with her flame, all the while watching Alistair out of the corner of her eyes, she tumbled backward end over end, turning once she was back on her feet to the firepots.

In the center of the pots, she collected the flames once more, renewing herself. She twirled quickly from the center in furious speed as the fire followed twisting itself around her like a cocoon.

Soon stopping in front of the King – nose-to-nose and continued to challenge him with her gaze. The sound of the final drum sounded the finish as the flames that surrounded her vanished.

Deedolett stood upright, backing away slowly. The dancers stood in a ‘V’ formation and bowed before the King. Alistair stood and bowed back, much to everyone’s surprise, he took Deedolett’s hand and kissed her soft knuckles, Alistair then reached into the pocket of his cover jacket and pulled the tiny silver ring out.

Slipping it on her slender finger, he kissed her hand once more then leaned next to her ear, “I apologize for what you thought happened that day, as well as everything else. This is  _ your _ ring, you are to be  _ my _ Queen no one has or will ever take your place. I do now and forever will love you.”

Releasing her hand and announced her to everyone else, “You all have performed wonderfully, and I assume that the others will agree, please give these beautiful performers their well deserved applause. Take your bows, ladies.” Alistair gestured to the women that took their cue from the King himself.

Deedolett stood glanced at the ring replaced on her finger she bowed to the audience around her and as others slowly surrounded Alistair wishing to speak to the King she slipped away walking back to the Hawke Estate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was also from the collection of E.S. Posthumus one of my favorite songs Tikal.


	26. Doubt Strikes like Vengeance.

Deedo went into her room at the Hawke Estate and slipped into one of her dresses. Comfortable she found herself lost in thought - as she wandered into the library seating herself in front of the fireplace, idly brushing out her hair.  
  
~~*^*~~  
  
  
Alistair was led to the Estate as Hawke nodded and returned to the gathering in the square, "She may be in the library." Hawke gestured towards the room and left the King to the elven mage.  
  
The King noticed - before he arrived at this point, that she was not amongst them during the rest of the celebration, asking where she could have gone Hawke then led him to where he is now.  
  
Taking several deep breaths, he prayed to the Maker that she would forgive him and his rash actions... again, coming to the entryway he watched as she leans against her Mabari with Hawke's Mabari at her feet, still lazily brushed her hair. Both hounds heads slowly rose up and they turned an eye from the man then lay their head back down with a grunt.  
  
Grateful for him not to have alerted Deedo Alistair came in but two feet of the elf and her hounds.  
  
"What reason are you here your Highness?" she never looked at him she continued to lazily brush her locks.  
  
"I came to give you something from a friend, and to apologize for as many times as it will take until you come home with me." Frozen to his spot when she finally looked to him, her eyes alight with the flame from the fire.  
  
A delicate eyebrow arched with minor curiosity, "A friend you say, which?"  
  
"One whom I thought perished during the Blight." He reached into his waist jacket pocket and pulled the note from within. Handing the missive over he stepped back to allow her space, but watched every movement she made.  
  
Laying the brush down on her lap, she unfolded the missive and began to read,  
  
_"Dearest Warden Surana,  
  
I humbly apologize for any wrong on my part; I never meant to cause a rift between you and my cousin. I wished to pull a prank – In not knowing who you are and I further apologize for halting him in defending you, when I found you had left the castle I had sent what men I had in your search. Please, my Lady, forgive me, as I may also Thank you for eliminated Rendon Howe my family's murderer.  
  
My brother and I would love to have you to visit Highever, we saw what you had done with the Redcliffe village, and Denerim's Alienage and would value your input. I apologize once more, Cousin Alistair reprimanded me sternly for my cruel prank, I would very much like to hear all about you in person.  
  
My humblest apologies and many, many thanks,  
  
Elissa Cousland."  
_  
  
~~*^*~~  
  
  
Folding the missive with the brush in hand, the tiny elven woman stood walking to the table across from the fireplace, she placed her brush and missive down, looking at the parchment with the beautiful handwriting she then smirked.  
  
Deedo snorted, "You fancy me a fool yes?"  
  
"No! I would never think anything like that."  
  
"You come to Kirkwall with a missive and presume I will come running to your arms?"  
  
Hanging his head slightly, he knew that would never work a simple letter for all he had done would never be enough. Swallowing thickly, he sighed.  
  
"I truly apologize, I do not know what came over me, I – I." Alistair shrugged and shook his head, he knew not what to say for his actions, he was rightfully ashamed of himself - _'I should never have tried to force her to remain in Denerim in the first place, as she always took duty first.'_  
  
He had not the courage to lead them through the Blight, he forced her to lead them, he forced her away before the fall of the Archdemon, he forced her to the arms of Teagan, and after she took him back tried to force her again to remain when Amaranthine needed her.  
  
Deedo smirked once more, "When you are helpless and lost you are most attractive. I cannot fathom the reason for you to become so aggressive, but it must and will stop!" She hit her fist on the table next to her, "You are acting like a child, why? Why go through such extremes?" Her brow furrowed as she looks at the man her heart belongs to.  
  
  
~~*^*~~  
  
  
A loud slam startled both of them and Tengu growled instantly. Deedo walked quickly to the archway, spying what caused the disturbance, Anders eyes where white, he was glowing from head to foot, it emitted from him like the blue smoke when Darkspawn are present.  
  
"Anders?" Deedo cautiously spoke.  
  
She knew something had happened to her friend when he was no longer at the Keep before her departure, Nathanial had told her that he saw Anders speaking with Justice in privet every now and again. Anders himself came to her after a while and told her of what he had done, she did not judge him she hugged him tightly and continued to be there for him.  
  
Anders looked at the woman when Alistair came to the archway Anders flared, _"_Get away from her!"


	27. Faded Intertwined Destiny

It happened so fast Deedo did not have time to react, the sound of a whimper from her beloved Mabari broke the silence to her elven ears. Deedo lowered her hands slowly, fingers tingling she could not fathom the anger Anders possessed –  
  
I have to help him, as she looked into his eyes. She paralyzed them Anders and Justice – using the term "them" loosely, right there Vengeance was still finishing his cast, that swept past her not more than a few seconds ago.  
  
Placing a small hand on his cheek, "Anders… I am going to save you. The both of you…" then waving her hand over his face Anders grew limp, Deedo helped him to the floor then went to the king.  
  
"Tengu are you alright boy?" He whimpered then looked over his shoulder to Alistair who was unconscious lying on his back.  
  
Deedo waved her hand over her hound and then the king, "Rest I will return quickly."  
  
Into the night Deedo headed to the Hanged Man – the crowd that was out during the performance lingered dancing and enjoying the night air, Hawke and his companions were not among them. Cullen was there she noted he glanced her way before she disappeared down the stairs towards Low Town.  
  
  
~~*^*~~  
  
  
Running as fast as her legs and feet could carry her, her mind set on one thing to help her friends, to right what Anders took upon himself. Her mind wandered as to what whispers she heard throughout Kirkwall – Abomination.  
  
Knowing it is the right of the Templar's to keep such things from happening, and her being a Warden and having to expunge several herself she went to Anders – thinking he may have information of the creature. To her surprise, his knowledge would also be his confession.  
  
"There are two of us if you ask me. Merrill and… Myself." He looked away, the feathers on his jacket shook under his trembling.  
  
Deedo stood up, placing a hand on Anders shoulder "Please, explain?" she gave him a squeeze, and when he turned to face her, he saw the sweetest, warmest smile the small woman he has known since his time in Kinloch, turning gave her the tightest of hugs.  
  
Sitting in the library of the Hawke estate, they sipped tea when he told of Merrill using Blood magic, and how he felt for Justice for wanting to see the world outside, for once Kristoff was laid to rest Justice would be sent back to the fade.  
  
"So when I was in Denerim and told you to go see the world, you had joined already?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why did you not tell me?"  
  
"I was, I..I.." He hung his head.  
  
"Anders, it will be alright. Is that the reason you never went back to Amaranthine?"  
  
"…Yes."  
  
"Something else happened, tell me." Deedo took his hand and held it tight. The gesture seemed to ground Anders as he was able to focus and not feel like he is being judged.  
  
"I killed or I should say I watched myself kill."  
  
They sat in silence for the remainder of the day.  
  
  
~~*^*~~  
  
  
The elven woman came crashing to the ground - she missed several steps, landing hard on her shoulder.  
  
"By the Dread Wolf! Are you well Lady Surana?" Merrill rushed over and helped the woman up, "You took a nasty tumble, how can one who dances with such grace tumble down a flight of stairs?"  
  
Deedo chuckled then hissed a sharp pain arched through her shoulder and down her arm.  
  
Fighting through the pain winced "Merrill, can you please take me to the others?"  
  
  
~~*^*~~  
  
  
"How long has she been in the Fade?"  
  
"Just a few moments, I feel a bit dizzy." Merrill sat on the floor next to Deedo.  
  
"I think we need to get Cullen, he has had to witness this before." Everyone turned to look at Isabela.  
  
"What? She talks a lot when she's drunk. Also very open to anything." The pirate queen smirked and left to retrieve the acting Knight Commander.  
  
"This is not the first time she has gone into the Fade to help someone. Wynne remembers in Kinloch and then what she did for Connor." Alistair sat holding his mug rocking a little bit. He had recovered the moment Deedo slipped into the Fade.  
  
Wynne smiled in thought, "This woman is remarkable, has never mattered to her who you are she was always willing to assist."  
  
Hawke nodded, "That she has, we haven't known each other long, yet she helped me move on with the death of my mother."  
  
Merrill sighed, "With me, she told me of another who is like me, a man named Jowan. She asked me not to use the Blood Magic further after this night."  
  
"She is a fighter, she will pull through this before she saved the Arl and Conner, she helped defeat the risen dead that was attacking the village." Teagan recalled placing a hand on Alistair's shoulder.  
  
Varric sat back listening to everything they said taking note to add to his stories for Ferelden's Hero.  
  
Bodahn and Sandal refilled mugs as they all shared stories of the elven woman who is currently helping another, within the Fade.  
  
  
~~*^*~~  
  
  
The sound of armor rung through the estate as Cullen entered followed by two others then Isabela.  
  
"Nathanial, Zev, what are you doing here?" Alistair stood and greeted both men.  
  
Nathanial clasped hands with the King then turned to Wynne, "May I speak to you in private?"  
  
They both went into the library closing the door behind them. Zevran took a look around the room nodding his greeting, "I had business here not to long ago, heard word that you and the Princesa was here I turned my ship around."  
  
Isabela shrugged when eyes turned to her, "Deedo knows people, the better part of them I know."  
  
Cullen knelt next to her drawing his sword, there were several gasps and some trying to grab his sword arm.  
  
"What do you think you are doing?"  
  
"Hey, I didn't bring you here to kill her!"  
  
"Knight Commander no!"  
  
Wynne heard the commotion, "Everyone please, quiet yourselves, this is standard among mages who go into the fade for excessive periods of time. It is to ensure no demons cross over to this side."  
  
Everyone seemed to settle retaking their positions. Wynne went to Alistair whispering in his ear, he has gotten up and followed her back into the library with Nathaniel in tow.  
  
"Do you think Lady Surana will wake up?" Merrill asked quietly, it was her first time sending someone into the Fade, and she wasn't sure if she did it correctly. Isabela put her arm around the young elf's shoulders and gave her a half hug.  
  
"She will be fine Kitten. She did save us from a Blight."  
  
Zevran chuckled, "She even survived my attempt to assassinate her." That gained him several questioning looks.  
  
Cullen's mind went to her Harrowing, he did nothing but concentrate on her blocking the talking of the others behind him, 'She has been out for a while, her eyes are moving just like before.'  
  
"That mage…Deedo… she said, "I think your Vallaslin, is beautiful." When she asked how I got them, I told her Danarius did this to me. She then hummed and ran a finger down my arm and lifted my hand, I felt comfortable around her, she said she could smell the lyrium then left me to my thoughts."  
  
"So she touched even you Elf." Varric snorted, "It seems Firefly been keeping secrets as well."  
  
Hawke raised an eyebrow, Varric motioned towards the door "She is no longer a Grey Warden."


	28. Lo the Angry Mountain.

It seemed like she had been walking for hours, through a cavern with only faint light to guide her then Deedo found herself in a sunlit forest of trees that seems to touch the sky, the yellow beams of light guided her path out, as she follows she could hear faint laughter of a baby and what sounded like adults. The grass crunched beneath her feet as she made her way along the dotted path out into the sun.  
  
Looking toward the suns direction it looks like an hourglass, the sun seemed to be dripping grains of sand, the place was like the fade within Anders mind, to be made of mute color, nothing but light and shadow, dull like bleached bones that have baked in the sun, smoky and still yet very much solid. Was she walking through his memories?  
  
Stepping further onto the path she could see a farmstead, small barn off in the distance of the quaint little farmhouse on a hill. She continued as a ghost of a family throughout various times of this child's life popped in and out. She was in his memories and she was watching Anders grow, there was a gate she approached and she could still hear the family laughing and sounding quite at peace.  
  
"Anders." The elven mage called out, but no answer, walking to the entryway she sees the door ajar cautiously opening it to see sitting in a dimly lit room three people having supper, having a laugh.  
  
Entering further into the room, she surveyed her surroundings, sitting in a darkened corner of the room, Anders sat near the wood stove, silently watching the family, his family. "I found you, are you well?" Hurrying her steps to her friend placing a hand worriedly on his shoulder.  
  
"These are my parents, as you may have guessed, and the boy, myself." Anders never took his eyes from them, "This is...was, my life before..." He paused closing his eyes with a slight shake of his blonde head.  
  
Deedo watched them and prodded him to continue, "Before?" her simple question caused him to stiffen and stand to his feet.  
  
"I found out I was a mage."  
  
The scene shifted before them and they were standing in the family barn, Anders looked around.  
"I lived on this farm for 12 years, I knew nothing else, I played with the other children around here and I had a life, a full life, I was going to live out the remainder of my life here helping my Father." He couldn't continue as his younger self entered the barn shortly after.  
  
His voice grew heavy, "This moment changed my whole world."  
  
A couple of large rats ran past Deedo and Anders, Deedo startled jumped and Anders placed a protective arm around her, shielding her from his 'ghosts'  
  
In that one moment, the barn was alit with fire, and Young Anders lay on his back looking at the gaping hole in the family barn, there was no saving it from the blast, the barn burned like tinder for a campfire.  
  
Young Anders and Anders looked at their hand, the former in shock, the latter... clenched his fist in discussed. His mother came into the barn pull him to safety. The surrounding changed again, to them in the dining table once more, his father warily eyeing his son as if he were stuck in perpetual confusion, he loved his son, dearly, but his son was in his eyes - a monster.  
  
"Father looked at me differently from that time on, he tried his best to 'tolerate' me, but I knew he was scared of me. For a month, since the barn I hardly saw him, he even spent more time away from me. Until one day he summoned the Templars." Anders stood stoic as his memory played out, the Templar clasping him in irons and dragging the young boy away cry furiously, his mother rushing into the house and just as quickly to the Templars.  
  
"Please sirs, allow him this?" In her hands was an embroidered pillow the Templar looked to her and nodded his agreement. Once Anders was in the wagon and faded away from sight, the scene took a turn to the other children and apprentices trying to coax him into talking.  
  
"I never spoke to anyone, I just wanted to go home. I promised father that I would do my best to never cast and I did, then still I was sent away, to be locked in this prison." He spat bitterly.  
  
Next Deedo was shown his meeting with Justice, and how they became one, how they became - Vengeance.  
  
"Where is Justice, or Vengeance now?" Deedo faced her friend she knew it was a stretch to separate them from outside the fade, Anders would die.  
  
"He is no longer Justice, my hatred and anger saw to that, but he is here, just over there." Pointing to a mountain to his right, lightning flashed and thunder boomed atop the mountain, the clouds an ominous shade of crimson and black. Then a roar, sounding like that of the Archdemon itself, but angrier.  
  
They trekked to the peak, it was wrought with traps, carefully they continued their way and met with someone who no longer looked like the spirit they once knew.  
  
  
~~*^*~~  
  
  
"What do you mean no longer a Warden?" Hawke shifted positions from his seat, Zevran looked to the Dwarf and then to the others, Zevran had heard rumors thinking that they were just that, Isabella's mouth opened to speak then quickly closed it, she too heard rumors. Merril looked to be in tears covering her mouth and Fenris looked to the elf laying on the floor, Cullen faltered slightly then regaining his composure.  
  
The door opened and Varric stumbled a bit then walking to his place by the fire. Alistair looked at him questioningly, Wynne followed with Nathaniel behind him.  
  
"There has been a development regarding Deedolett." Alistair cleared his throat, "I have just been informed that-"  
  
"We know, how could it happen?" Isabella interjected.  
  
"Yes... I see. I am unsure of myself, but I will leave it to Nathaniel to say." He took a seat on the steps with his head in his hands. Wynne went to check the two sleeping mages on the floor in front of the fireplace, waving her hands over them both, nodding her head as to say no ill is fallen them.  
  
Nathaniel, searched for the words, "We can no longer sense her. It is a way of finding others like us." He pointed between himself and Alistair. "I had been in contact with the Lady Wynne from the time she had left Ferelden." Inclining his head to Deedo.  
  
"She seems to have Andraste's ashes into herself and it cured her." Alistair continued from his place, rubbing his face once more he stood, "Sera Hawke please watch them, I need to contact the other Wardens." And he left looking back to his woman, lying unconscious fighting to save her friend.  
  
The others sat around waiting for her and Anders to come around, hoping she will have been successful in Vengeance's extraction. From the story that Zevran told the others, she's done it before for Arl Eamon's son Connor, albeit the two were joined for months and not years, as Anders has been in hiding when Hawke join in on the conversation.  
  
Cullen watched them both listening to the others as they spoke of their tales of the Elven mage at his feet, he remembered Anders from all those many seasons ago, and here they all were once more, together, and it worried him his brow furrowed both started to vibrate.  
  
"Wynne." The Knight-Commander called to the older mage.  
  
Wynne hurried over and knelt beside Anders, waved her hands and gasped, "There is something going on in his mind, I think they both found it." From the way both jerked and vibrated whatever was going on, it was out of anyone on the outside control.

**Author's Note:**

> Re-Edition to a previous story "One Year Later." Featured on other sites, I needed to make a few adjustments and love sharing my work. Previously edit help from lisakodysam, on FF.Net and also the delicious mod of "Stolen Kiss" mod made by Dahlialynn and cmessaz (I'm nuts for Cullen) this Mod has been my undoing. But the later we go in this story, the more Stolen kiss will be brought to light.  
Musical nods to Kanon Wakeshima and Abney Park.


End file.
